To feel really shit about how people judged me for no mask.

[DidSheReallySayThat20]

For the record. I've previously tried wearing a mask until today. I have ptsd relating to being suffocated in a DV relationship. I spent years in therapy and on meds to cope daily.
The last few times I've come over funny and feeling like I'm goi g to have a panic attack which I haven't had one in 4 years.
I also suffer with anxiety shopping in a store where I don't normally shop.

The gp said I do not need to wear a mask and I have valid reason for exemption

Today shopping two different sets of people were vocal about it.. One was a mutter I could barely catch but I heard.. that's 4 no masks today and continued out of ear shot

I kept my head down I felt awful. Then a couple said excuse me, you are aware of the rules or Are you another young one who thinks they're above the law.. I ignored them. I wish I'd come back with a reply now.
Only ' good' thing was being called young at nr 40.

Its been on my mind since and I honestly have tried but the anxiety and stress they caused and thinking about it days up to shopping day and after wearing one I woild of ended up back on anti depressants because it affected me so badly.

I can only talk from experience;

I judge the people at work (mandated mask wearing) who say "I cant breathe..." but wear masks during a procedure. Or "I'm OK I've had it..." or my favourite "but I'm a consultant"

I don’t judge;
Anyone else.

Because it's not my business. If I saw you I may give you a wide berth, not to be rude but to increase the safety between us. If you can't wear a mask I can give you a bit extra distance to offset that - to my mind it's polite but I can see someone feeling vulnerable because of judgemental idiots may feel it is judgemental. It's not meant to be.

All I can say is this, you had 2 comments, 2 judgemental arseholes. I would suspect you encountered many more than 2 people. Like everything in life try not to let the minority outweigh the majority. There will always be someone to comment whatever you do. Today I got off a train and onto a bus. Rather than take a (disposable because I was working) mask off, bin it, walk 20 yards, put on a new one, i decided to keep it on. I got huffed at, I'm pretty sure because I was wearing a mask outside.... someone will always judge, comment, be a dick. Whatever you do.

You do you. Let them do them. If you are confident in he reasons for your choice don't let some idiot make you feel bad for it.

There are government guidelines but also social responsibility.

I'm not doubting the OP's reason for not masking. But in that case I think non-maskers should avoid shops and other public places unless it's a dire necessity and there is no one else who can do tge shopping. It's a two way street -- if non maskers want consideration tgey must extend it as well.

Mask bullies are back to have a pop
about those who cant wear them in a shop.
Saying we must all do our bit
But with the exempt they dont give a shit.
" Wear lanyards, badge or scarlet letters.
Dont forget to protect your "betters"

This is how they really want to play it.
They just aint got the guts to say it.

Sharp elbows is the name of the game
And their tool of the trade is shame.

Be it mask, snood scarf or visor
Mask bullies dont seem any wiser.
Some people cant wear them .......thats fine
But bullies keep on crossing the line.

With their comments and their stares

Thinking people are unawares.
This really really needs to stop.
And soon or more and more people wont shop!!

@reader12 You still can't breathe properly with a shield. When you breathe out Carbon Dioxide, it bounces against the shield, then you breathe that back in again, instead of oxygen (well, mixed with a small amount of oxygen it seems, but not a sufficient amount for those with respiratory issues).

I couldn't careless if people wear a mask or not. I don't believe they really provide much protection to others especially as people wearing them get too close & in my space.
I'd rather people kept their distance.

Even though I am exempt for medical reasons I do tend to wear a mask as I'm a sheep & can't really be arsed to tell those arsehole mask police to do one.
Though to be fair sometimes I've forgotten to put a mask in my handbag & have walked round Boots, Primark, M&S, Wilko, Sainsburys & the Coop with no problem. One thing I have noticed from the odd time that I've not worn my mask is that people are far more respectful of keeping a few metres away from me.

@JeanneFrench

Why did you go shopping?

Why the hell shouldn't she go shopping?

Do you think that people should just be hidden away from society just because their difficulties might be inconvenient to you? What is fuckwitted post!

OP, so sorry you have had this happen. You did nothing wrong. Practise your replies. Exempt for medical reasons should be sufficient, and if pressed further then just tell them firmly that your medical history is private and confidential so you won't be broadcasting it around the store.

There have been some ridiculous, sanctimonious and downright ignorant comments by some on this thread alone. I can only assume that the people who questioned you are similar types of arseholes.

It's shit for people to harass you for not wearing a mask. However, keep in mind that some of them may be suffering from anxiety too. I've just spent the evening holding my best friend's hand (virtually) because she's freaking out about how many people around her today weren't wearing masks (she wouldn't publicly comment on them, though). She also has anxiety and has actively managed it for years, so I don't think it's any more fair to say "well she needs to manage her unreasonable anxiety about those without masks spreading infection" than it would be fair to say you should just suck it up and wear a mask.

The situation is shit for both sides through no fault of your or her own. Big virtual hugs all round. I think it can be difficult for people to understand how long the trauma of DV remains with you.

OP, I know what it feels like only to well, I've been called a whole host of things, even though I wear the sunflower lanyard with the card that says I'm exempt due to a hidden disability, it makes no difference. My list is ever growing, let's see what I've had:

Covid denier - Day Lewis pharmacy
Fucking super spreader - co op
Fucking scum and Fucking Cunt - M&S on the same day

• it's twats like you that spread this around - Waterstones

I've now stopped going to any shops. Having had the M&S and Waterstones episodes happen within an hour of each other, the "red mist" descend in Waterstones and I almost smacked the bloke in the mouth that said it. No good can come from that, so I'll not bother shopping again.

What makes me laugh is the amount of virtue signallers (and this place is full of em) that say "we must consider everyone in everything we do". I've never believed any of them do this and never will.

Yes, this bloody virus has brought out the "best" in people. I've never been one to trust people that much and this has reinforced my views on that.

I also feel a bit panicked in a mask. Best way I have found to deal with it is just to lift it up quickly every very few mins and get some air in. It helps cool me down and then I can wear it again.

It’s literally in the government guidance that you shouldn’t question people not wearing a mask, and that no one needs to carry an exempt card with them unless they choose to. Invisible disabilities are invisible.

If you question or harass someone not wearing a mask you are a disgusting human being.

@kiwibee

It’s literally in the government guidance that you shouldn’t question people not wearing a mask, and that no one needs to carry an exempt card with them unless they choose to. Invisible disabilities are invisible.

If you question or harass someone not wearing a mask you are a disgusting human being.

It won't stop people having a go though. They feel they have some god given right to be able to do this.

The excuse "there is a pandemic you know!" is just pathetic, very much like the people who say it.

OP, it sounds like you really, truly need to be back on antidepressants, and shouldn't have gone off them, because clearly you need them. Please seek a Dr's appointment to get an emergency script for them.

You do have a valid reason not to wear one but I do think this is one of the reasons people get antsy about this issue when they wouldn’t normally.

Exactly. I think if people do have genuine reasons, they will be open to explaining - and maybe educating. It's those that swear at you and refuse to answer that make one think they have no reason not to wear one, they are just being defiant. It does ease the public's mind if they know, and if they know, they the become educated and more tolerant. We don't know, if you don't tell us. If it means you get to shop in peace and aren't abused or hounded and traumatised, surely it's worth it to make up a card like a namecard with a safety pin on your top that says 'I am exempt from wearing a mask due to medical reasons, please don't abuse me.'. You could even explain on it about PTSD if you want, or maybe just the basics. But people aren't mindreaders, and yes, we do judge those who don't wear a mask, especially as it affects our health, all of our health. Just by making up a tag to pin on your shirt, you could make it so, so much easier for yourself. AND, reassure others. Win win.

The young people in general really don't give a shit.

I don't know, from what I've seen, it is the young that are the main group who are actually complying. The older the demographic is, the less likely they are to wear them and the more likely they are to be of the 'Coronavirus is a hoax' mindset. Despite the fact it is the elderly themselves mostly at risk!

I think if people do have genuine reasons, they will be open to explaining - and maybe educating.

But it's nobody's business what condition someone has and they are not entitled to know, just to reassure them.

I certainly don't want to discuss my condition with a stranger (I don't even want to engage with them in any form of conversation) and "educate" them, it's not my job and I don't want them to know my business.

Wear a lanyard. I felt a bit judgey last week in Sports direct but I looked a bit harder and the woman had a sunflower lanyard so I immediately thought oh no problem. Society as a whole is anxious at the moment you're not alone so you have to appreciate that and take steps to lessen it - the lanyard.

My son can't wear a mask because he is severely autistic. It is not his role to educate idiots about the law. If people can't contain themselves enough around him to avoid harassing him, they shouldn't be allowed out. If someone did do it I wouldn't be educating. I would tell them to fuck off, the same way that I would have done for any harassment before masks.

I'm sorry you have been treated this way. I always try to smile at those not wearing masks as I know the majority are doing so for a good reason. Unfortunately they cant see my smile because I'm wearing a mask

Timekeeper
I can’t believe you have suggested people pin a label to themselves, what else? Put a flashing light on heir heads.

It is of no business whatsoever to others why a person is unable to wear a mask. You do not need to be a mind reader or not as it is none of your business.

It is not for the person who is exempt to educate others but for the people who judge them to educate themselves.

It is truly non of their business!!!!!

"Society as a whole is anxious at the moment you're not alone so you have to appreciate that and take steps to lessen it - the lanyard."

Those who cannot control their own behaviour enough to stop themselves harassing others could wear a lanyard explaining that they can't help themselves because their anxiety makes them do it.

“ We don't know, if you don't tell us. If it means you get to shop in peace and aren't abused or hounded and traumatised, surely it's worth it to make up a card like a namecard with a safety pin on your top that says 'I am exempt from wearing a mask due to medical reasons, please don't abuse me.'. You could even explain on it about PTSD if you want, or maybe just the basics. But people aren't mindreaders, and yes, we do judge those who don't wear a mask, especially as it affects our health, all of our health.”

You are condoning abusing people in public, admitting that you do it possibly. Are you not ashamed of yourself? How can you excuse abuse like this? The way that people can post absolutely foul things whilst claiming they are the socially responsible ones is extraordinary