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Original poster

To feel really shit about how people judged me for no mask.

333 replies

DidSheReallySayThat20 · 04/09/2020 21:31

For the record. I've previously tried wearing a mask until today. I have ptsd relating to being suffocated in a DV relationship. I spent years in therapy and on meds to cope daily.
The last few times I've come over funny and feeling like I'm goi g to have a panic attack which I haven't had one in 4 years.
I also suffer with anxiety shopping in a store where I don't normally shop.

The gp said I do not need to wear a mask and I have valid reason for exemption

Today shopping two different sets of people were vocal about it.. One was a mutter I could barely catch but I heard.. that's 4 no masks today and continued out of ear shot

I kept my head down I felt awful. Then a couple said excuse me, you are aware of the rules or Are you another young one who thinks they're above the law.. I ignored them. I wish I'd come back with a reply now.
Only ' good' thing was being called young at nr 40.

Its been on my mind since and I honestly have tried but the anxiety and stress they caused and thinking about it days up to shopping day and after wearing one I woild of ended up back on anti depressants because it affected me so badly.

OP posts:
PinkSparklyPussyCat · 05/09/2020 08:41

@MadameMeursault

I do understand how wearing a mask can be difficult or impossible for some people but I also think that everyone should be playing their part in trying to reduce the spread of the virus. I therefore think that those who can’t wear masks should limit the shops they go in to those that are essential, and where possible do online shopping or get someone else to shop for them. It’s hopefully only for a short period of time until a vaccine comes along. Until then we should all do our bit to control it. I don’t really think there’s any need for anyone to wander maskless around Waterstones.
And if there's no vaccine? Would you like anyone who is mask exempt to stay indoors permanently?

The lack of empathy is frightening

annabel85 · 05/09/2020 08:41

Not everyone will know about the lanyards. It probably is a bit over the top but one solution would be to walk in a shop holding a sign saying "I can't wear a mask for health reasons" if you're fearful of being challenged. You'd be being harsh to still challenge someone holding a sign.

KitKatastrophe · 05/09/2020 08:42

I therefore think that those who can’t wear masks should limit the shops they go in to those that are essential

You can think that all you want but the fact is that mask exempt people are allowed to go out shopping as much as they want. If you don't want to be near people who aren't wearing a mask, maybe you should limit your shopping to essential trips only.

MrBucket · 05/09/2020 08:44

Timekeeper2 I am not the one excusing the abuse of people with PTSD. You are.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2020 08:45

That must be a joke @annabel85?

MrBucket · 05/09/2020 08:45

It’s clearly rattled you to have that pointed out. Maybe have a think about what you are excusing now.

JenniferSantoro · 05/09/2020 08:46

I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I would just ignore anyone making a comment and hold your head high. If you’re in a situation where you have to explain all you need to say is you’re medically exempt. You don’t actually have to justify your situation to anyone. The last thing you need is for this to set you back in your recovery. 💐

Spikeyball · 05/09/2020 08:51

Timekeeper2 do you wear a badge? Do you think you should be forced to?

Yellowbutterfly1 · 05/09/2020 08:53

viviennemary
As this post is about somebody who is exempt from wearing a mask, do you see people like the OP as not being responsible?

PrivateD00r · 05/09/2020 08:55

To the poster complaining that a third of customers in lidls had no mask...... That could easily happen as many people are exempt. I would easily believe that a third of people in a supermarket at one time could genuinely be exempt. PTSD, anxiety, lung disease, heart disease, autism, sensory disorders - all very common and no you can not diagnose them with a quick glance ffs.

Please mind your own business. If you are so frightened of Cv that you feel the need to make nasty comments like that - then please stay at home and have shopping delivered.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/09/2020 08:55

@MadameMeursault

I do understand how wearing a mask can be difficult or impossible for some people but I also think that everyone should be playing their part in trying to reduce the spread of the virus. I therefore think that those who can’t wear masks should limit the shops they go in to those that are essential, and where possible do online shopping or get someone else to shop for them. It’s hopefully only for a short period of time until a vaccine comes along. Until then we should all do our bit to control it. I don’t really think there’s any need for anyone to wander maskless around Waterstones.
And this post says it all.
Spikeyball · 05/09/2020 09:00

People could wear a badge saying "I cannot control myself around people with hidden disabilities".

Yellowbutterfly1 · 05/09/2020 09:02

Maybe there should be a label that some of the posters could wear when they are out and about. Maybe say something like:

I’m a member of the self appointed mask police.
I judge others who are exempt
I want to know your business
I want to know your medical history
If you don’t comply with what I want or ask you should stay at home.

How many of you would like to wear something like this? It’s not nice is it?

Timekeeper2 · 05/09/2020 09:05

@MrBucket Oh so you're doubling down instead of apologising to me? Nice. Nowhere have I 'excused the abuse' of people with PTSD. ALL I did was point out that sometimes badges can help make a stressful situation, LESS STRESSFUL for those like the OP.

That is all.

I did not deserve your abuse. I did not deserve to be told I should be 'ashamed' of myself for merely offering advice in good faith. It's astonishing that you think the way you spoke to me, and I never attacked the OP, I never said anything, ALL I did was suggest a badge, to make HER life easier - was deserved. You are out of line. Way out of line. And if you had any decency at all, you would apologise and realise you wrongly assumed my intentions. My intention, as a member of a disability organisation, was merely to HELP the OP. Not upset or offend her, nor to excuse the abuse. It was merely to suggest something that would make her life easier, and considering her PTSD, that is surely something we should all agree on. I have more experience with both visual disabilities (ex-carer for my father, and also a relative with Down Syndrome) and hidden disabilities (IBS/Crohns myself) than you could ever know. I am on the board of one. I have only wanted to help, not to harm, and your comments were presumptuous of my intent, and way, way out of line.

Timekeeper2 · 05/09/2020 09:08

@Spikeyball Yes, I do wear a badge in certain situations - I omitted to say I also have PTSD from past trauma, and have been diagnosed as having ASD myself - not normally for those, but for my Crohns. I also have a card that allows me to access toilets when out in public.

HamishDent · 05/09/2020 09:08

I don’t think OP should have to wear a lanyard if she doesn’t want to. People should accept that if someone isn’t wearing a mask, there’s probably a good reason why.

Most people where I live are wearing them and the few who aren’t should be allowed t go about their business without having to explain themselves repeatedly to strangers.

Unfortunately OP, you’re always going to get the odd few who think it’s their job to police everyone else. Wearing a lanyard may help, but only if it doesn’t make you feel even more anxious.

Timekeeper2 · 05/09/2020 09:12

@Spikeyball Sorry, I forgot to answer your question. No, of course I do not think anyone should be forced to wear a badge. But speaking personally, and as a member of a board for disabilities, many people with disabilities find wearing a badge or lanyard helpful, and it gives them a relief from judgement.

All I did was offer some advice about wearing a badge to lessen the stress for the OP.

That's all.

MrBucket · 05/09/2020 09:14

Timekeeper by all means throw accusations at me instead of examining your own first post on this thread and the implications of what you were advocating. The OP should be able to expect to go about her business without being abused and without being required to educate the ignorant about her situation. You absolutely offered excuses to people who have abused the OP, and if you hold the position you claim then you should know better.

Timekeeper2 · 05/09/2020 09:16

No one should be forced to wear a badge or lanyard, but many do find it does help and makes their day easier. I myself had a woman ask me about Crohns, she had never heard of it. She went away knowing something about it, and thanked me. I also thanked her.

I don't expect everyone's experience to be like mine. I don't expect people to choose a badge or lanyard. But I just thought it would be helpful that people knew these options were available. That's all. Some choose not to use them, some choose to use them. Everyone is different, and what may work for one, may not work for someone else. But if people know that option is there, they may look into it.

Timekeeper2 · 05/09/2020 09:19

@MrBucket NO, you made an assumption about my intention. That is on you, and says far more about you, than it does about me.

Letting people know of badges and lanyards a person with a disability can use, DOES NOT EQUAL "offered excuses to people who have abused the OP". So stop hurling accusations at me based on YOUR misunderstanding of my post.

DianaT1969 · 05/09/2020 09:22

Some people are ignorant OP.
I'd be tempted to get them to wind their beaks in by saying. "I'm exempt because I have a mood disorder which makes me extremely violent."

AHippoNamedBooBooButt · 05/09/2020 09:23

No-one should be made to wear a mask but hey ho that law is now there.
If I legally have to wear a mask to enter a shop, why can't those who are unable to wear one, wear a lanyard? A mask restricts breathing, a lanyard does not. OP stated she just doesn't want to wear one. Well i don't always want to wear a mask but ive got to. That's just the way it is. It's not about "wants" anymore, it's working together as a society. We all have to do our bit be it mask or lanyard. Having a disability shouldn't make you exempt from common courtesy.

PurpleDaisies · 05/09/2020 09:26

We all have to do our bit be it mask or lanyard.

People just love making up their own Covid rules for other people to follow.

The only people who need to know about the op’s exemption are the police and possibly the shop staff as they enter. No one else is entitled to ask.

PhilCornwall1 · 05/09/2020 09:26

But speaking personally, and as a member of a board for disabilities, many people with disabilities find wearing a badge or lanyard helpful, and it gives them a relief from judgement.

Based on my experience, badges, lanyards or even a bloody great banner saying you are exempt, does not work in the slightest.

RednaxelasLunch · 05/09/2020 09:31

That's shit OP. People are going mad with CV rules, I try to feel pity for them and not take it personally since they are most likely muttering and shouting at 50 people a day who they deem to be not following their version of the rules. You just happened to be there while they acted out their emotional state.

I hereby give you permission to ignore them, or if they're being right knobs to tell them to mind their own business Flowers