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Original poster

To feel really shit about how people judged me for no mask.

333 replies

DidSheReallySayThat20 · 04/09/2020 21:31

For the record. I've previously tried wearing a mask until today. I have ptsd relating to being suffocated in a DV relationship. I spent years in therapy and on meds to cope daily.
The last few times I've come over funny and feeling like I'm goi g to have a panic attack which I haven't had one in 4 years.
I also suffer with anxiety shopping in a store where I don't normally shop.

The gp said I do not need to wear a mask and I have valid reason for exemption

Today shopping two different sets of people were vocal about it.. One was a mutter I could barely catch but I heard.. that's 4 no masks today and continued out of ear shot

I kept my head down I felt awful. Then a couple said excuse me, you are aware of the rules or Are you another young one who thinks they're above the law.. I ignored them. I wish I'd come back with a reply now.
Only ' good' thing was being called young at nr 40.

Its been on my mind since and I honestly have tried but the anxiety and stress they caused and thinking about it days up to shopping day and after wearing one I woild of ended up back on anti depressants because it affected me so badly.

OP posts:
maggiso · 04/09/2020 22:31

I am sorry you were upset . I think the best way is to practice what to say- if challenged- a simple polite ‘ I am exempt’ - or ‘unfortunately I am exempt’. You don’t need to say more. I sometimes struggle to wear a mask ( breathing difficulties- but that is more visible) so have a print out I can pull out if needed. Would a half hidden badge you can whip out be helpful?

Original poster
DidSheReallySayThat20 · 04/09/2020 22:31

And I'm aware it's not near my throat.. He used to cover my nose and mouth often until I passed out.. That's the issue. Having my mouth and nose covered.
As well as strangled at times. I also can't wear roll neck tops for that reason or high cut neck tops. But thankfully there's no law regarding that

OP posts:
ScarMatty · 04/09/2020 22:32

@Violetparis

Would one of those clear plastic face shields perhaps be easier for you to wear ?
OP should not have to wear something to prevent other people being dicks.
ScarMatty · 04/09/2020 22:33

@Sarahlou63

I don't mean to be unkind but why does wearing a thin, loose mask bother you? They don't restrict breathing, they aren't anywhere near your throat and they can be flicked off one ear in a moment.
You thick?
annabel85 · 04/09/2020 22:40

The NHS should have released "I am medically exempt" badges and stickers for people who can't wear masks to wear from the start. This would have stopped a lot of the shouting matches.

PurpleDaisies · 04/09/2020 22:42

Those badges exist and can be printed out @annabel85

SummerHouse · 04/09/2020 22:42

The NHS should have had t-shirts printed that say "some people are dicks"

MrBucket · 04/09/2020 22:43

Why can’t people stop themselves from shouting at people who are exempt? Have they no self control?

MrBucket · 04/09/2020 22:46

I have no idea what the increased risk of potential transmission of coronavirus is when it comes to a few individuals not wearing masks, but I can absolutely guarantee that you can reduce your risk of distressing someone with PTSD who cannot wear a mask to zero by just not challenging anyone who isn’t wearing a mask. You have that power

CrazyToast · 04/09/2020 23:05

Try not to take it to heart. They are just scared too. Everyone is scared and stressed right now.

I echo what other PP have said- practice saying a clear response out loud and it will feel more natural when it happens. As for the mutterers, try to see them as also scared and worried and reacting to that.

This is a scary and shit time. It doesnt bring out the best in all of us.

Lurkingforawhile · 04/09/2020 23:07

Do people really not find they restrict your breathing? I wish it was like that for me. Maybe it's just my asthma but I find myself on the verge of breathlessness any time I wear one and have to walk up stairs or walk quickly. It's awful. If they don't have any effect at all maybe its because the mask is too loose.

I think most asthmatics have a fear of not being able to breathe caused by early asthma attacks (I certainly do). A lot of us do our best to wear them but it's a bit touch and go. The other day I kept having to lift the mask up just to get air in.

Sorry you had to go through that OP. I worry too about the looks and comments.

mylittleyumyum · 04/09/2020 23:15

People need to mind their own fucking business. I wear a mask because I would start a riot if someone was vocal about me not wearing one.
The problem is theirs, not yours. Huge hugs

Burpeesshmurpees · 04/09/2020 23:21

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Treeface · 04/09/2020 23:24

Here's a phrase. "I'm exempt. Now fuck off"

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 04/09/2020 23:46

The real virus is that of dickheadedness.

PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 00:15

@AHippoNamedBooBooButt

If you can't wear a mask because of ptsd, which is a very valid reason and I have no object to those where is causes real distress to wear one, then wear a lanyard. Surely that doesn't set off your ptsd and cause panic attacks? Yes you will feel anxious and paranoid and very uncomfortable when you first wear one, just like everyone does in a mask tbh. But we suck it up and I think its only fair you do your bit too. After all, the mask is to protect others and like pp said, people might think you are putting them at risk when they are protecting you. At least with the lanyard they will just understand and not be so judgey.
Agree with this. Sorry for your difficulties but we all have to do our share.

If you are unable to tolerate a mask, could your husband then not do the household shopping in order to be considerate of others' health?

PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 00:15

@WrongKindOfFace

I’ve seen someone wearing a lanyard which said something like ‘mask exempt’ on the lanyard strap which probably means more than a sunflower lanyard to most people. I don’t know how you’d feel about something like that?

Pity the covid deniers can’t be forced to wear a lanyard identifying them as such so we know who to avoid.

Yep. It would seem to be the least they could do.

JeanneFrench · 05/09/2020 00:16

Why did you go shopping?

PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 00:19

@flossletsfloss

The fact is though that by not wearing a mask you are putting others at risk. I can understand why people feel a bit miffed. Maybe a lanyard would explain it. I appreciate it's not anyone's business but we are all only human and trying to protect ourselves. Your experiences in the past sound really awful and I'm so sorry for you. However, I think going into the winter season it is unreasonable not to wear a mask if you can truly help it. Perhaps there are some types of masks you could try using for short periods of time to build up.
Public health matters, and masking is one, are by definition everyone's business.

I see nothing wrong with challenging those who seem to feel they are the exception. Social stigma exists for a purpose.

Batshitbeautycosmeticsltd · 05/09/2020 00:19

@JeanneFrench

Why did you go shopping?
Why shouldn't she? Christ on a bike, society is eating itself.
PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 00:20

@PurpleDaisies

The fact is though that by not wearing a mask you are putting others at risk.

If the op was social distancing, she wasn’t putting anyone at greater risk. Some people aren’t able to wear masks. That’s not their fault.

Social distancing is not foolproof. It's meant to be used in conjunction with masks.
PerveenMistry · 05/09/2020 00:22

@Burpeesshmurpees

People do need to mind their own business. I wouldn't say anything to anyone because you never know why that person isn't wearing a mask BUT I can see why some people are getting agitated. Your mask protects them as theirs protects you. If you'd been stuck at home shielding for months and had only just been able to start going out again I can understand you'd likely be a bit twitchy about being around people who aren't wearing masks. Is your right to not suffer anxiety or PTSD more important than their right to reduce their risk of catching the virus if for example they have leukemia? Just saying... Having said that I am genuinely sorry it's making you feel so shit. You don't deserve it. This whole situation is shit.

Exactly.

It is others' business.

Treeface · 05/09/2020 00:45

"I see nothing wrong with challenging those who seem to feel they are the exception. Social stigma exists for a purpose."

The government guidelines make it clear you shouldn't be doing that. I hope someone tells you to fuck off.

Multipack5678 · 05/09/2020 00:50

I mask up for the shops. I see a small number of people who don't wear a mask.... and don't give it a second thought. Genuinely don't understand the mentality of the self-appointed mask police.

TempsPerdu · 05/09/2020 01:02

Around a third of the people in Lidl today weren't wearing masks, I did in the queue remark to another customer that young people in our area have a lot of ptsd ... because it was obvious they didn't have lung issues.

Callous, judgmental, ignorant and ageist in one comment - impressive.

Sorry you’re experiencing this OP. DP is exempt due to trigeminal neuralgia. He does wear a sunflower lanyard and has had very little trouble so far (which, sadly, I suspect is at least in part due to being a bloke). The few members of the mask police who have persisted have been given short shrift!

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