@Mummabeary it is far too simplistic to say there are 2 groups of vulnerability - medical needs and feckless parents.
Unless, of course, you are suggesting that DC who are autistic or ADHD etc are really 'fine' but have feckless parents?
What about socially vulnerable DC who may struggle greatly with new and illogical rules in school but with parents who advocate tirelessly for them? Maybe DC are really fine but parents are over-engaged - possibly MBP?
My son's issues were first flagged by his GP at 2 and he started school under the care of NHS speech and language. He did not get an EHCP (parental request) which guaranteed extra support at school until he was 9. This is par for the course. Campaigning for something for this long is also beyond the experience of most.
In the SEN world, parents who have concerns and raise them (and are dismissed - you will be told (eventually and when it's too late)) and who then advocate for their DC are considered a problem.
It's much easier if you are passive because then DC and/or your passivity can be blamed.
I understand that relative passivity was fine pre-Covid if you had NT DC - you just buy the kit, send them to school and 'oversee'. I understand you want to work and have your own life and don't want to be an unpaid advocate, with hundreds of hours of admin and the stress of responsibility. So did I and lots of SEN parents like me.
Maybe everything will turn out OK - maybe pessimistic predictions are wrong and erring on the side of optimism means everything will be fine. But do you have a Plan B? (People with blind faith and in denial rarely have a Plan B because this will jinx it.)