Am I OTT or do other people just not care?!

[Lou0808]

Tonight on social media, I've seen several posts from "friends" (and by friends I mean Facebook friends, people from school who I've not actually seen or spoken to in a long time) who are having parties with absolutely zero social distancing.

One particular person has posted videos of people in her house, easily 20 people.
All doing karaoke, drinking shots, dancing.

Another post from a separate person is a picture being in a pub hugging three girls captioned "missed my besties"

A work colleague posted a picture of her young niece saying she's staying over at her house, again hugging her.

I don't mean to sound like the "fun" police. I know we've all desperately missed our friends and families, but the situation is never going to improve unless we follow the guidelines.

I have a 4 month old DD and I've love nothing more than for her to have a cuddle with my mum and her other grandparents, but I just wouldn't allow it.

I desperately miss my friends, I'd love to have them over and hug them, but I wouldn't do it.

Am I being over the top? Am I right for feeling pissed off at people just not following the rules?

I just feel like it's going to drag things out even longer if people just do as they please 😔

stop JUDGING it is rather annoying when people like you judge - it really doesn't help anyone.

Why shouldn't we judge though? We judge others who do anti social or illegal things - we judge drunk drivers, or vandals, or fly tippers, or burglars, murderers, people that hit children - we judge people who cause harm or disruption to society, so why should we not judge people who are not following rules designed to open up society as much as possible while still controlling Covid?

Spain has locked down a region again, Leicester has locked down, London is seeing the R rate above 1, Australia has quarantined 5 apartment blocks, America is seeing huge upswings in infection in some places, Beijing is locking down in places- this isn't over so why is it ok for people to act like it is?

Lostmyshityear well presumably the children with shit parents went to school 5 days a week, ate a school dinner, got to see their friends, play at break time and had the teachers warchful eyes on them to look out for further abuse and the relevant agencies be contacted if necessary, I'm also prusuming the time apart from the parents halted much abuse as the parent had less time with the child. Not now though.
Domestic abuse pretty much the same, hopefully one spouse worked, giving either the abuser or victim some space, let's say the abused didn't, one would imagine this would give them some time to think things through, maybe get help, visit a friend for support but during Covid both are home, no help, no support and I'm guessing no services open on full capacity either. Tempers flare, abuse escalates worst than before.
Suicide will no doubt increase due to job loses, losing your home, not being able to feed your family etc. Obviously there was suicide before Covid but agency's were open, Gp's were open, friends could be met in cafes and pubs for a chat. But not during Covid. Loneliness is a terrible thing when you're depressed and helpless.

i am not judgey!

To be fair OP this entire thread has been about judging other people’s behaviours.

Everyone judges. We all do it. I judge people who would prefer to teach their kids to be terrified of the world rather than take a deep breath and go to park for an hour with them. It’s not healthy for four years olds to be terrified of leaving the house because of ‘the nasty germs that will take you away from me mummy’.

It’s human nature. But you are clearly a very judgmental person, don’t try hide it.

We don’t have a vaccine.
We have a treatment that saves some lives, but not all.
The death rate is fortunately small, however I understand that even one death devastates a whole family.

We are dealing with a virus, spread through coughs and droplets. That is easy to catch. It’s not really a case of ‘if’ you’ll catch it, but when.

We don’t want: everyone to catch it at once.

We would prefer: everyone to catch it over a long period of time.

We’d hope that: the most vulnerable people will stay in so that they have a chance to not catch it.

It is unlikely to be eliminated. So I guess what I’m saying op, with that in mind, is that I’ll do my own risk assessments and decide who I want to see and how close I’ll get. I’m done with hiding from it. I can’t live my life in lockdown. Plus, I have to go back to work as a teacher and I’ve been seeing two bubbles of children, one am and one pm bubble, so if I can get close to those families, why not my own.

Loneliness is a terrible thing when you're depressed and helpless.

Yep. Add being shielded into the mix too with the prospect that instead of being paused in August we'll be pushed back into shielding if people won't follow rules now?

But the shielded don't count do they? Somehow we're meant to be immune to the issues facing everyone else.

I agree Op, this photo came on my local spotted page following the pubs opening yesterday, and it made me anxious, there are also photos this morning of all the rubbish they left behind too. One thing I noticed it appears to be mainly men at the pub, I think only 3 women in this photo.

We're seeing family now. Last night we had 3 households staying over at the inlaws, 6 adults and 4 kids under 5. Yesterday afternoon we all went to the local pub. It was virtually empty and they had precautions in place, table service and distanced tables.

Community transmission around here is so, so low. We'd struggle to catch it if we tried. I'm not isolating my children from their family anymore. It's been nearly 3 months and the risk is very low at this point.

@BusterGonad

You’ll be surprised to hear that the really vulnerable children are often those with terrible attendance. Their parents can’t be bothered to send them in, or they truant, or their parents keep them off to hide the marks or prevent them from ‘telling’.
They are sometimes the children we have to fight to see, who have social workers visiting them to check that they are ok.

The biggest problem with schools not being open full time, is that we are not seeing those children ‘not coming in’ and therefore we don’t have information to pass to social services.
We have however, had a team of specially qualified staff, who have gone to visit our ‘known’ children at their homes, twice a week, to ensure they are safe....and during lockdown some children have still been removed from their homes and have been placed with foster families, which shows that we haven’t completely abandoned our children most in need.
It’s been shit, but you won’t see the work staff have been doing behind the scenes to keep our children as safe as possible. We haven’t forgotten them.

but Social distancing is Scientifically proven to be totally and utterly pointless.

😂😂😂

Which science is this? Tinfoil hat.com? Or conspiracytheoriesareUs peer reviewed journal? So a virus that is transmitted by close contact via respiratory droplets wont spread more easily if people are closer together? Yeah top notch science User.

Ok well my post wasn't intended to judge people.

It really is a rather a case of frustration.

Yes we all make our own risk assessments, we all decide what to do for the best for ourselves.

I've made my choices for now and I'm happy with that.

We see family, we social distance and as I have a young baby, that for me feels appropriate.

I don't want lockdown to continue until the virus goes. That's unreasonable.

Yes I'm anxious about it, but with these guidelines in place it feels like we can maybe have some kind of "normality" instead of having to look down any longer.

The point I'm trying to get across is that if people choose to ignore the rules, and just do what they feel like, then it affects us all one way or another.

They may be young and healthy and their risk low, but perhaps the people that could potentially spread it to, won't be!!!

[quote DBML]@BusterGonad

You’ll be surprised to hear that the really vulnerable children are often those with terrible attendance. Their parents can’t be bothered to send them in, or they truant, or their parents keep them off to hide the marks or prevent them from ‘telling’.
They are sometimes the children we have to fight to see, who have social workers visiting them to check that they are ok.

The biggest problem with schools not being open full time, is that we are not seeing those children ‘not coming in’ and therefore we don’t have information to pass to social services.
We have however, had a team of specially qualified staff, who have gone to visit our ‘known’ children at their homes, twice a week, to ensure they are safe....and during lockdown some children have still been removed from their homes and have been placed with foster families, which shows that we haven’t completely abandoned our children most in need.
It’s been shit, but you won’t see the work staff have been doing behind the scenes to keep our children as safe as possible. We haven’t forgotten them.[/quote]
Yes, none of the vulnerable children at my school accepted their offer of a place. Like you say, the parents are not bothered about getting them to school when it is compulsary nevermind when it is optional.

DBML I know, my husband worked at a PRU, its tough times for everyone, I'm saddened by it all really. Evidently everyone is suffering.

Nope. They really don't care.

It's been one of the most dispiriting things about the pandemic. Many people don't want the responsibility of caring about others, yet would be first in the line for a blood transfusion from those same strangers.

No. Hugging each other and having massive parties is completely idiotic.

@Cherrysummerfruits

No. Hugging each other and having massive parties is completely idiotic.

You are allowed to see a small amount of people indoors now. I have been desperate to see my mam and dad and they are the only people I am really seeing. If I spend an hour in a room with them and on the off chance I did have covid, they would likely catch it anyway...so I am hugging my parents.

Plus, I have to go back to work as a teacher and I’ve been seeing two bubbles of children, one am and one pm bubble, so if I can get close to those families, why not my own.

Inconsistencies like this do actually have some logic behind them. They support the aim of reviving education while still limiting the number of interactions between households at a population level. Even within that the guidelines do allow family to be seen, though, just with limits. It is miserable and grim but it's because adding a few extra interactions outside the guidelines doesn't make much difference if one person does it, but will make a huge difference if lots of people do.

Having said that, I think it looks particularly unfair on teachers for whom a single extra family interaction is a drop in the ocean compared to the number of interactions they'll be forced to make directly and indirectly with 'bubbles' of 240 teenagers. But in general, there is logic behind this type of apparent inconsistency, and it's because our current infection rates mean we still need to limit interactions between people by sheer numbers, and interactions that support the economy, education etc are getting priority. The lower infection rates get, the less that will need to happen.

People on here talking about asessing their own risks and that of others, but on what basis? How can you decide that hugging person A is not going to have repercussions for persons X Y and Z, whom you may not even know? it is not just about you and your risk. It is hard to trust the government but frankly unless you are all experts in the matter of coronavirus transmission, you are not qualified to impose risk on others who might be vulnerable in ways you do not know. Can't we just follow the guidance until we know more.

But the shielded don't count do they? Somehow we're meant to be immune to the issues facing everyone else.

If they didn't count they wouldn't be advised (not forced) to shield for their own safety.

No you are being sensible OP. Look at the rates in America where they eased lockdown too quickly.

This article has been shared on another thread.

www.nytimes.com/2020/07/04/health/239-experts-with-1-big-claim-the-coronavirus-is-airborne.html

If this turns out to be true you could infect someone just by being in a shared space with them. So, you might think it's fine to party with 50 people,hugging them, over the weekend because it's your choice,you aren't vulnerable etc and then get on the bus on the Monday, or go to work in an office or a school or go to the supermarket and spread the virus you don't know you have via the air because you don't want to wear a mask. How, in anyone's book, is that ok?

The point I'm trying to get across is that if people choose to ignore the rules, and just do what they feel like, then it affects us all one way or another.
This.

@Hearhoovesthinkzebras

This article has been shared on another thread.

www.nytimes.com/2020/07/04/health/239-experts-with-1-big-claim-the-coronavirus-is-airborne.html

If this turns out to be true you could infect someone just by being in a shared space with them. So, you might think it's fine to party with 50 people,hugging them, over the weekend because it's your choice,you aren't vulnerable etc and then get on the bus on the Monday, or go to work in an office or a school or go to the supermarket and spread the virus you don't know you have via the air because you don't want to wear a mask. How, in anyone's book, is that ok?

Its not ok to have a party with 50 people. I dont think anyone is saying that. It is okay to see family though in small groups, and the exact same thing could happen. My mam could give it to me, I could get on a bus and spread it. This could happen with people in an office at work who also clearly are not doing anything wrong. Yes people who party in groups of 50 are idiots, clearly. But we cant eliminate risk and most of the outbreaks are occuring in workplaces

Its not ok to have a party with 50 people. I dont think anyone is saying that.

The people holding or attending the parties are saying that. The people insisting that they've had enough now and will make their own assessments are saying it's ok to break the rules if it suits them.

Yes, you could pick it up doing something that's allowed but if you stick to the guidelines - social distancing, masks when required, limit interactions as allowed etc your chances of catching it are much lower.

If this turns out to be true you could infect someone just by being in a shared space with them.

If it was true we’d also have had a lot more cases pre lockdown and a lot more deaths.

No, you are not being OTT OP.