How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

In a week's time we will know whether to remain in anxious state or get on with.

I think there is something in OP's post which is realistic and a bit of it which is excessively anxious.

That's because I know of 3 people (friends' of family members and family members of friends) who died of covid-9 and one was in their 30s with no underlying health conditions.

I've also read reports that young people who get it, are finding that they cannot do the activities they could do before they got covid-19 - like diving for example (not enough lung capacity.) It remains to be seen whether this will pass or if they will be like that for the rest of their lives.

I also myself have not seen any family or friends since beginning of March nor have I gone anywhere except on walks.

I do wonder if the ones who are less anxious about it, are the ones whose lives are not that impacted.

OP, even if everything you say is true, your reactions still suggest you’re suffering with anxiety and need support.

This kind of thread isn’t the way to obtain that.

[quote midnightstar66]@BestOption if you were that ill with covid you would be in hospital surrounded by experts and kind staff. If you were well enough to be at home then you'd probably manage yourself. It's not much different to having Flu or Norovirus surely? Would you feel happier asking people to come round and help with a contagious vomiting bug than you would with a covid infection? It's just one of many illnesses that could put you in a similar situation. [/quote]
@midnightstar66. Thank you for your reply.

I might be in hospital, if they'll take me. If I don't have to wait until my lips are blue and I can't say a few words (to get help). (that's been the criteria for our local hospital, people in a bad way have been left at home).

I stayed with my friend, her DH & their 3 kids when they had norovirus because they needed help. It's transmitted by contact, so by keeping everything in their house wiped down, i was able to stay free of it. Not so with COVID if you're inside the house with someone. Friends would help me if I had norovirus and needed something. It's not the same thing because of the different avenues of transmission (build up in the air just from breathing)

Norovirus/Flu etc don't generally have you feeling like you're drowning & being unable to breathe. It's not so much dying that bothers me, as the way it happens.

But yes, anything that lands me in hospital could put me in the same state I was in after my little OP did. Frankly, I'd rather not be there again. Covid has the increased risk of a worse outcome than that did and of being a much worse death than many others.

@littlebillie

I think the last few decades we have become complacent about death. 100 years ago average life expectancy was 53, now we are surprised by ill health by whatever form it takes.

If you hide forever, you will miss out on life.

forever. Who said forever?

Treatment/vaccine/Govt who doesn't think 'Super Saturday' is a cracking idea, fewer idiots acting like it's no longer around...lots of possible game changers.

It's possible to want things to be opened up more slowly instead of almost everything all at once.

@BigBadVoodooHat

Stop relying on other people to flick the magic switch that will change your mindset. Take responsibility for your own mental health and seek professional help if your anxiety is interfering with your general day-to-day life

She's asking for help from people here, you don't want to help, then scroll on by. But she's totally entitled to ask for help! & you have no right to tell her not to.

You obv have health anxiety.

Are you 80>? T1 diabetic? Of bame background? A man? Have vascular disease? Lung disease? Are immunosupreesed or recieving cancer treatment? An organ donor recipient?

Because if none of the above ^ apply to you, andyou have no other underlying conditions you need to get some help with your anxiety.

Like influenza, this virus may be around for good. There may now always be seasonal covid-19 deaths. Hopefully there will be a vaccine eventually.

I say this kindly, but get a grip.

[quote labyrinthloafer]@BestOption

You're not pathetic at all.

I think some of what we know has been scary, because it has been so different. Humans like to understand and plan and we've had a big shock to our systems.

I think the fact there are no visitors if you get it is frightening, because humans need love. Also no attending funerals etc made bereavement very very hard.

Those talking about cancer, yes, but we know about cancer from a young age, we've grown up with it and we therefore have it wired in. Plus over the last xx years cancer stories generally have been improving. Vivid is a major worsening of our disease landscape, with little warning.

It is hard to process.

That is why we are getting such extreme reactions - from super rational risk analysis to full on panic/hiding.[/quote]
@labyrinthloafer. Thank you 🌷

Whilst I'm 'well' (in terms of COVID) I'm fine not having visitors/seeing people. I'd like to see my OH, but as I said, we chose to lock down separately due to his DS (and a few other things). That hasn't changed.

Sadly he's had his Dad's funeral (not covid)during this time, earlier on when only 5 people could attend, so I couldn't have gone anyway (Him, his mum, kids, sister etc) . But it was very hard on him not being able to give his Dad a 'good send off' and the fact I couldn't be there was hard on us both.

Cancer - I don't know why people keep comparing it. Cancer is fucking dreadful, god knows I've lost enough people to it, but it's not contagious so you can be there for people,

Risk analysis would be easier if they didn't keep massaging the figures and gave them to us sooner, more local & not 'not adding' community cases & deaths. Numbers you could trust to be true & accurate would help enormously.

She's asking for help from people here, you don't want to help, then scroll on by. But she's totally entitled to ask for help! & you have no right to tell her not to.

Where did I tell her not to seek help?
I advised seeking professional help for her anxiety and taking active role in altering her mindset in order to empower herself to effect the shift she needs to make to be able to cope.

The OP has started countless threads on this issue and none of the advice offered appears to be helping her. She’s more interested in the hysterical ravings of her American friend.

No one on here can say the magic words that will suddenly make everything rosy, so she needs to do something more useful than starting threads in MN.

What part of me suggesting professional, targeted intervention was me ‘telling’ her not to ask for help?

@yoikes

You obv have health anxiety.

Are you 80>? T1 diabetic? Of bame background? A man? Have vascular disease? Lung disease? Are immunosupreesed or recieving cancer treatment? An organ donor recipient?

Because if none of the above ^ apply to you, andyou have no other underlying conditions you need to get some help with your anxiety.

Like influenza, this virus may be around for good. There may now always be seasonal covid-19 deaths. Hopefully there will be a vaccine eventually.

I say this kindly, but get a grip.

I have had tuberculosis in the past which was cured but I believe there is residual lung damage as there is slight pain on inhaling deeply. No breathing problems though and a chest XRay at the time said things looked normal. I have high blood pressure for which I take medication, although since adopting a healthier lifestyle it has fallen to near normal readings. I am of half South Asian and half Northern European background.

@bumblewumble

I don't think you need to justify yourself. But clearly you do have some reasons to be concerned.

You just need to find a way to feel better. I think even if your risk is high, you can get some help to feel less frightened and more in control.

I don't know that your personal risk is high, I just mean that even within super high risk groups e.g. over 80s, some feel more anxious than others, and there are ways to help with worries.

I actually think there’s a group of people who are hell bent on making everyone as anxious as possible , on one of the shielding social media groups I’m on it’s obvious. People are starting to share stories of venturing out and being jumped on because of the dangers , as adults we take our own risks on a daily basis and it is absolutely irresponsible to spread fear and anxiety because that is how one person feels. As the phrase goes ‘you do you and I’ll do me’

Exactly @mrsbyers. One of the only good things about social media is that from an historical point of view it will be really interesting for future generations to see just how much pleasure some took in making others anxious, watching their every move and judging.

@mrsbyers

I actually think there’s a group of people who are hell bent on making everyone as anxious as possible , on one of the shielding social media groups I’m on it’s obvious. People are starting to share stories of venturing out and being jumped on because of the dangers , as adults we take our own risks on a daily basis and it is absolutely irresponsible to spread fear and anxiety because that is how one person feels. As the phrase goes ‘you do you and I’ll do me’

I agree wholeheartedly with 'you do you and I'll do me', but also there are an equal number of pushy twats on the other side of the argument telling everyone to get out, get on with it, what are you worrying about, it's only flu...

The basic problem from the start is we've had no leadership. The govt can't even decide whether we should be raising a glass or taking it steady!

I understand where you are coming from OP. I cant really advise as I'm feeling pretty similar. I've been isolating and a recent venture to the shop left me shaking although now I've done it a few times it feels better. No real family or close friends to help and I find myself living inside my head.

Having contact via phone or online sometimes with people who can fuel my anxiety which leads to overthinking and anxiety. I have health anxiety anyway due to things that have happened and it can all spiral. I miss having a laugh and my social hobby which kept me grounded.

I just wanted to say that you aren't alone in your feelings, I hope you can feel a bit better soon but I do understand the fears.

OP, I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. Health anxiety is a horrible thing to deal with. Well done for contacting your GP and speaking to a counsellor - stick with the counselling even if it doesn't seem to be helping yet. It's really important that you stop spending time on forums like this. You'll persuade yourself that you're seeking reassurance but in reality you'll focus on any comment or view that validates ypur fears (as you focused on the poster who told you that you were right to be terrified). Make a list of distractions (things you enjoy doing, chores around the house etc) and refer to it every time you think about going online to post a question or find out more about Covid. I hope things improve for you very soon.

Because life is for living and is too short.
I'm sorry OP but I feel your anxiety over this is bordering on the irrational.
My teenage daughter feels the same as you and is frankly, doing my nut in now.

Is there a rational reaction to a pandemic? One that has been handled so poorly by the powers that be.

Just to maybe help you put this into context I know of 11 friends plus myself who have had it. 5 had no symptoms atall. 3 had mild symptoms for a couple of weeks and are fully recovered. 1 had a longer and worse illness of about 3 weeks and is now fully recovered. Myself and 1 other were hospitalised - but didn't need ICU - we both had secondary infections. I was in hospital for 3 days and the other for 5 days. I was acutely ill for 5 weeks and my friend for about 4 weeks. She is fully recovered and I am except fatigue. My DS most likely had it too but was only mildly unwell for less than a week. My DD probably had it too but with no symptoms. Many, many people have had it and been completely asymptomatic. You may have already had it yourself. And if you haven't and you get it you will most likely have a mild illness and fully recover. I agree that you don't seem to have this in perspective and I would definitely talk to your GP about your anxiety. Take care

@UndertheCedartree

Just to maybe help you put this into context I know of 11 friends plus myself who have had it. 5 had no symptoms atall. 3 had mild symptoms for a couple of weeks and are fully recovered. 1 had a longer and worse illness of about 3 weeks and is now fully recovered. Myself and 1 other were hospitalised - but didn't need ICU - we both had secondary infections. I was in hospital for 3 days and the other for 5 days. I was acutely ill for 5 weeks and my friend for about 4 weeks. She is fully recovered and I am except fatigue. My DS most likely had it too but was only mildly unwell for less than a week. My DD probably had it too but with no symptoms. Many, many people have had it and been completely asymptomatic. You may have already had it yourself. And if you haven't and you get it you will most likely have a mild illness and fully recover. I agree that you don't seem to have this in perspective and I would definitely talk to your GP about your anxiety. Take care

Thank you I am glad you have all recovered.

I just vacillate between feeling hopeful and despair. I do understand that the majority of people who get it will have a relatively mild illness and recover fully. But there is always the chance of being among those who have a severe illness, and it's not a totally remote chance

Sometimes I feel hopeful that a vaccine will be found within a year, and I have read that treatments are improving all the time. There is Dexamethasone now which improves the survival rate significantly and I have read in Texas they are having success in bringing down the death rate with a mix of anticoagulants, steroids and vitamins. I have also read of tests being developed which give an instant result as to whether some one has the virus, which would surely be a game changer in controlling the spread.

But then I read things like a vaccine could be years away, or never found. I see the ever soaring number of cases worldwide and read that a second wave and many more deaths are inevitable in the UK now restrictions are being relaxed. Then I feel despair that it is just never going to end and wonder how we can possibly coexist with it and actually go about our lives with it in our presence. Obviously the economic damage is horrendous, and we need to try to repair things as soon as possible. This would be a huge task even if the virus was gone, but it isn't gone so we have to try to perform some seemingly impossible balancing act.

I get angry with people who seemingly nonchalantly announce that the 'New Normal' is forever and we just need to adapt, then we will be fine. I think how on earth can we be fine in a world where we cannot interact with other people freely ever again and instead have to treat each other as 'potential lepers'. And wonder why this would be the outcome with this virus, when it has not been with any previous ones, especially as we now have so many scientific and medical advances that they didn't previously. But then I think if the virus is here forever, how can we actually get back to living normally.

When I wrote the OP I was feeling very anxious. Tonight I feel more depressed about it all.

In my personal case, I just think I've become desensitised to it.

I've been working throughout the whole period (HGV driver delivering to supermarkets) and I'm in contact with literally dozens of people each day, most of whom are retail staff who are in contact with vast amounts of people daily.

I've concluded that either I'm just extremely lucky or that (more likely) the risk is hugely overstated but done necessarily to get the public to take it seriously.

I'd have zero concerns about being on furlough and doing a socially distanced shop every 1-2 weeks and and am probably much more at risk from a road accident/forklift truck etc.

[quote Orangeblossom78]Not sure if this might help but there is some specific support for BAME people around

www.gmcvo.org.uk/Coronavirus/BAMESupport[/quote]
Thank you

My mum was like you. Scared stiff.

She died last Wednesday. Not of Covid.

So all that worry was a waste of her last few weeks.

OP, stop doing this to yourself. And if you can’t stop doing it to yourself, stop doing it to others by posting your doomsday scenarios on here; you’ll frighten people.

Let’s face it - you need some people to keep their heads so that you’re free to run about with your hair on fire while they keep the world turning.

You only have one life, time to go live it and not focus on Covid. Be careful wash hands, keep distance and enjoy this wonderful Earth and all its nature. Simple is as simple is.