How are people so calm about Covid?

[BumbleWumble]

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

I don't have time to worry bout what I can not control.
I can control who I come into contact with, within reason. I can control where I go. I can control washing my hands, wearing a mask when I think I should etc.
I simply can not control if I catch it.

@BumbleWumble

As hard as it may seem you have to try and remember that the vast majority of people will get only a mild illness and recover perfectly well.

My story - I tested positive 9 weeks ago now and only had the test because I’d been filling in the symptom tracker app and reported mild muscle ache, shortness of breath exercising and a strange feeling of a dry throat. Any other time I wouldn’t even have known that I was ill and would have carried on as normal - for me I’ve had far worse colds. I waited 6 days for my results to come back and when I got the positive result health anxiety took over and it took several phone calls to the dr to convince me that I was fine and that all my subsequent ‘symptoms‘ were entirely caused by anxiety.

I was fortunate enough to sign up for a covid trial where I’ve had my blood taken for research and all my major organs scanned feels like I’m doing my bit to help future research into the disease whilst also keeping my anxiety down that every one of my major organs has been checked and will be again in 6 months to map the impact of the disease.

I’m also back at work as a teacher and have been for 5 weeks. Yes, there is no way of knowing if I will get it again and worse this time but there are also many other diseases and illnesses out there that could ‘get me’ at any time.

The media doesn’t tell you stories like this though - just the worse case scenario.

As others have said the World will keep turning and things will resume maybe differently for a while but not forever.

Take care of your physical and mental health and do what you feel safe doing in the here and now. And if you have to do what I did and sob down the phone to the dr in order to move forward then do it but please get the help you need.

My 19 year old ds caught Covid at beginning of lockdown, he has had many chest infections in the tast, Kawasaki disease as a toddler and is underweight, so i was worried about him. He was pretty sick with it and in bed for 13 days but he recovered within a month and nobody else caught it.
It is at the back of my mind, especially as i am now 50 but we may never get a vaccine, so we need to just carry on with our lives.

My son's SIL died in March after choking on food, she was only 34, people sadly die at a young age, Covid isn't the only thing out there.

In terms of personal risk to myself, I don't give a dam about covid. I've probably already had it but if I hadn't I still wouldn't care. I find cancer a far bigger concern... although obviously it doesn't have the contagious element.

Someone in my friendship group has just been diagnosed with Leukemia. Another is fighting breast and ovarian cancer. Most of us will get cancer or our spouse will in our lifetime.
Covid doesn’t scare me more than that.

OP I posted similar post today as I heard a bad story last night felt bad but ok now ... I am actually more worried about my kids future/economy and can't bear the words new normal and social distancing but I am not liking at the news etc and going to the shops ... I have no fear of me catching it just my parents which I think most people have

I do think you need help though

@formerbabe I think that's my issue.
I think cancer I can't be scared about and stop my life for because if it's going to happen I can't prevent it.
However Covid I can prevent by staying away from people. Therefore I'm stuck in a spiral of I must stay at home etc.
Does that sort of make sense. Because I know I can stop myself from getting it it makes it much harder for me to be happy to go out and about etc

@jrobhatch I agree I suffer anxiety and things like this make me feel worse which in turn I post I was doing ok !!!

My friends sister caught the virus in march and has had some unpleasant lingering weirdnesses to deal with. On the plus side, she's very much alive and is currently preparing to meet her fwb this weekend for a post lockdown rendezvous to remember. Life goes on.

Have you seen a GP about your anxiety? Sorry if you find this unkind but you need to get help as your mental health is in danger of becoming far more serious. My DH was admitted to psychiatric unit for 2 weeks because he wouldn't get medical help for his severe depression and it developed into a psychotic episode.

Thank you for all the replies. I have already spoken to my GP and been prescribed anti anxiety medication. I have also been speaking to a counsellor. But the anxiety has not subsided, although there have been periods when it has lessened. I do not totally hide away, I go out walking wearing a mask and keeping distance and the anxiety is definitely less then.

I have not meant to increase any one else's anxiety, but I believe what I wrote in my post is only information I have seen provided elsewhere. There are definitely other people out there giving accounts that are quite terrifying, and I have absorbed those and assumed every one had already been exposed to such information. It is however reassuring to hear more positive stories.

Speak to your GP again, or look for a specialist/another GP if your GP is not helping. Different medications have different effects on different people. You may need a different medication or dose. You may also need CBT or some other therapy.

We've all heard both frightening and less frightening stories. The point is, as I mentioned upthread, that a person in a healthier mental state reacts differently to that knowledge.

Also remember that the more you sit indoors in your own head, thinking about just one topic and not interacting with your environment or other people, the bigger the issues will feel. As you say, simply going out and seeing that things are more normal than you imagine when in bed at night will help.

You're like someone who's cut open her arm. The doctor has given you a plaster, but you've got a stick and are poking at the wound, then saying that the plaster isn't helping...

So when you speak to this counsellor, have you talked about catastrophising?
Read through your op again and look for the 'never ever' and the hyperbole.
This is an illness with up to 40% of people who have antibodies being asymptomatic at the time they were infected.

Op you need help with your anxiety

I honestly mean this nicely

It's a fucking national disgrace what an absolute state our government and media have left people in mental health wise. the mental health ramifications of this will go on for decades

1 in 2200 people have it. (England) I don't see 2200 people in a week never mind a day.
70%+ have no symptoms or mild symptoms
Number of infections falling 5% per day
I'm not diabetic
I'm not Black, Asian or male
I'm not over 70
I don't work in a risky place
My children and I are not shielding
We've not been in other people's houses. All socialising is outdoors.
I don't spend 15 minutes a day less than 1m for anyone

I truly believe that in the case of my kids and I, increased hand washing and socialising outdoors will mean that we are probably going to be fine. The socialising outdoors thing will get harder for the kids once they are back in September but I'm hoping that infections will be even lower and that they will fall in the no symptoms group if they catch it.

Also remember that the more you sit indoors in your own head, thinking about just one topic and not interacting with your environment or other people, the bigger the issues will feel.
^^ This
I felt panicky and hyper vigilant going to the supermarket in the beginning but now I make an effort to go frequently and it helps make it feel more normal.

I don't know why you thing that we will never have normal life again. In my family my youngest (adult) daughter came to stay with us for 6 weeks during lockdown because her anxiety was getting the better of her. She has since gone home but we don't bother to socially distance with her anymore - she comes over for dinner once a week and sometimes stays over. My other daughter is a teacher and we have been looking after our 2 grandchildren one or two days a week since she went back to work 6 weeks ago - we are hugging them and kissing them and consequently we are not socially distancing from their parents either.

I have seen several of my friends over the last few weeks - we have gone for walks and had food and drink in gardens, my OH and I have been out to national trust houses etc. My son and daughter in law live in another European country - they have had very few cases and their life is not much different from how it has always been. They are not allowed to gather in groups of more than 1000 - other than that they can do all the things they have always done.

None of my family or friends have had covid as far as I'm aware. Apart from not hugging people when I say hello or goodbye, my relationships are pretty much the same as they have always been.

I am calm about covid as there are numerous ways in which i could become seriously ill or die and i am not going to live in fear. When i was 12 one of my neighbours died in a motor bike accident. My mum once saw someone get run over by a car. My granddad nearly died twice and my grandma has beatten cancer. Life is far too short.

Some of my relatives survived concentration camps including Auschwitz. Some died there. One relative survived then killed themselves years later. My dad killed himself when I was thirteen. One of my grandmothers slowly deteriorated with dementia and thought we were trying to kill her.

I'm not being dramatic but rather pointing out that life is not 'safe' and I never felt that it was. It could be worse. People are living through much worse around the world.

I suffered from anxiety and chronic ill health through my late teens and twenties. I used to fixate on health issues like the mad cow disease thing really panicked me when I was a student. I'm now in my mid forties and pretty much okay; working through that stuff has stood me in good stead for this situation.

Yoga and meditation are the way to go to protect yourself in the long term, but first of all you need to get on top of it with medication/counselling/therapy otherwise mediating may be a bit overwhelming.

@Arcadia

The mad cow panic was driven by Neil Ferguson too.
He had millions of healthy animals exterminated and a population who didn’t eat a burger or steak for years

It’s a wonder he’s still in a position of influence

Like many we accept death is inevitable eventually and we have always had Frank and honest conversations about it. We have weighed up the risks and we are not in any at risk group and in our local town there were only 16positive cases in the last week, in a population of 75000. I'm not worried about going out and catching it anymore because the risk is low. I was exactly like you OP in feb/March though so I completely get where you are coming from. Just take everything in your own time and don't feel pressurised to do anything you feel uncomfortable with just yet

Only on page 2 so far. Can I please thank the op for this thread and @Longtalljosie for being so sensible and putting my thoughts into words better than I ever could.

It is a hideous situation. We all have different levels of risk within our families. We have all had different experiences of this virus. Personally it has killed people who were friends of family members. Five all together and non over the age of 65. And one a woman the same age as me. So yes, some of us are more anxious than others.

That doesn't mean we are neurotic or hysterical. It means we view it differently to others.

All we can do OP is manage the risk as best we can for us and our loved ones.

Longtall suggested the calm app. If you can afford it then I would say go for it. I had the trial and it was fantastic. Also, I would suggest reading the daily numbers, graphs and analysis 11 thread on here. It really does help to put things I to perspective.

I read it before bed. They are very sensible on that thread.

I'm calm because otherwise things would just look bleak and miserable and what's the point in that? This won't go on forever, just for a while longer. I refuse to listen to room goblins. I worked on the frontline during it and none of us had it so for me, it's time to get on with the next stage.