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Covid

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How are people so calm about Covid?

417 replies

BumbleWumble · 04/07/2020 05:16

I have written several posts now and been told my reaction is not normal and that I need help for my mental health as I am suffering from health anxiety.

But how do you come to terms with coexisting with this disease, possibly forever if no vaccine is found? A highly contagious disease that you run the risk of catching everywhere you go and might kill you. Even if it doesn't you might be left with severe incapacitating organ damage. Or you might get the long haul version that goes on for months at least. Since the disease is so new no one actually knows if people with this form actually ever get better.

This doesn't seem an equivalent risk to say driving a car. It seems that eventually most people will contract it. True, many people would have a mild version then recover, although even the mild version is supposed to be a nasty experience. But a vast number of people would either die, be left with terrible lasting damage or be ill for months, possibly permanently. Also it's not known whether lasting immunity is conferred, so you might initially get a mild version then get a more severe version at a later date. And as well as this, there is the constant fear of loved ones getting it and that you might pass it on to them. Or that you might unknowingly infect any one.

In addition to this, our quality of life will be awful. As well as the threat of the actual virus constantly hanging over us, social distancing will remain necessary and we will never be able to freely interact with other people ever again. People will not be able to be close with family and friends. There will be no proper socialising, no events where people gather. There will be fear every time an indoor space has to be shared with others. Indoor workplaces especially will be a major risk forever more. As will public transport.

We will just lead a terribly bleak existence knowing that at some point we will likely catch the disease regardless with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome. Or if not us then a loved one.

I don't understand how people aren't more concerned about this and put it on a par with other daily risks such as driving a car. It is so terrible the whole world has come to a halt over it, and if no vaccine is found quickly, is going to have a catastrophic impact on humanity as a whole as far as I can see.

I realise there will be no choice but to get on with life, but I do not know how to do this without an ever present sense of anxiety and dread. I can think of little else and if this is to be the future then I fear the rest of my life consisting of terrible fear waiting for it to get me and loved ones.

I feel utter despair and terror. It's like a nightmare with no end.

OP posts:
Miserablemoan · 04/07/2020 05:23

You don’t run the risk of catching it everywhere you go.
It almost definitely won’t kill you. It might but so might a number of things. You don’t get to live forever.
Have you never been ill? There are lots of nasty diseases that can have lingering effects.
Wash your hands regularly, don’t get close enough for people to breath in your face.

Miserablemoan · 04/07/2020 05:27

Why on earth do you think we’ve got a relatively high risk of a terrible outcome?!
The government needed us to be scared so that we’d comply with the lockdown and avoid overwhelming the nhs. The world came to a stop for a similar reason.
We are lucky to live in a place where we have health care, clean water and space to distance. We will be fine fairly soon as long as people take some personal responsibility and use common sense.

Gobb · 04/07/2020 05:27

I don't care much because I've always been aware of mortality. Many if the people I love have already died of other causes. My parents died when I was still a teenager. Yes, how appalling but it could be cancer, random accidents or anything. Covid deaths are still in the minority if deaths in total, by a long way. That's how I rationalize it.

Ritascornershop · 04/07/2020 05:33

I can’t live in a constant state of anxiety over something I (or my family) may or may not catch and which may or may not make us quite ill. I’ve got way too much of my brain take up with worrying about not having enough money for bills and with worrying about being single forever. Those things are actually happening to me right now (well, single for what feels like forever).

The science, as people have said in your other thread, doesn’t back up your worries.

vanillandhoney · 04/07/2020 05:37

I say this kindly OP - this is not normal. Get help.

AllAussieAdventures · 04/07/2020 05:38

I just embrace the chaos of the universe these days.

Humans exert a teeny tiny amount of control over themselves. The rest is just shit that happens.

So I control what I can and let the rest go and don't worry about it. Worry won't change any outcomes so it has no value.

Coronavirus has made virtually no difference to my life. I am happy to keep my difference, I always covered my coughs and sneezes and have always washed my hands.

ANYTHING can happen at ANYTIME. So just don't worry about it.

AllAussieAdventures · 04/07/2020 05:39

*distance, not difference.

VashtaNerada · 04/07/2020 05:46

To be blunt, as a teacher I simply don’t have the luxury of fear. I use (increasingly packed) public transport every day and then spend my days with children around me - tying shoelaces, leaning over their shoulders to mark work, hugging them when they cry. If I start to panic my only option is to quit my job and I have no intention of doing that. I have to get on with it and just make sure I wash my hands regularly and wear a mask on public transport. I’m pretty sure most of my school had it in March anyway and for me the symptoms weren’t too bad.

iloveeverykindofcat · 04/07/2020 05:48

I'm the same as Gobb. I'm well aware we could all die anytime, for multiple reasons. My father died when I was very young, I've almost died twice myself, once through medical negligence, and I live with severe mental illnesses including anorexia which are much, much more dangerous than the virus. I'm very much not afraid of Covid - I'm pretty blase about life in general to be honest, because I've learned to be. Life is mostly chaos and we have very little control over any of it. I'm 33 and if and when I get it, I'll get sick and then probably get better. Same as any other illness. The reaction of some so-called mentally healthy people over the past three months has been very surprising to me.

redcarbluecar · 04/07/2020 05:48

When you put it like that, OP, it does sound frightening. For me, if I can avoid thinking about things in ‘worst case scenario’ terms, so I can live my life and get through the day to day, I will. Not much of this is within our control. Perhaps people are more unsettled/concerned than you realise but not showing it.

JamMakingWannaBe · 04/07/2020 05:49

There have been two fatal traffic accidents where I live this week. One was a young father of two who was knocked off his bike. The other was a three year old out for a walk with his mum who was hit by a car.

As a mother of a 5yo with a DH who cycles regularly, these have upset me far more than the risk of COVID.

Not having our "normal" life is shit. I desperately need to visit the dentist, I'm really missing going to the gym and going for a coffee with my friends and my DD has missed a third of her first year at school but I can't change any of that. You just adapt.

You can only control what is within your power to control. Wash your hands. Hand sanitizer if you can't. Wear a face mask. Observe SD.

Uhoh2020 · 04/07/2020 05:51

we will likely catch the disease with a relatively high chance of a terrible outcome
Wrong! Theres a relatively high chance that IF you do catch it you will make a full recovery and continue with a healthy life.

Of course everyone needs to be cautious but being hysterical about it will not help in the slightest.

Stay away from the media focus on what's going on around you, focus on only what you can control in your day to day life. Dont concern yourself with packed beaches or protests or a 5 mile queue to get in IKEA and primark. Take the sensible necessary hygiene and SD precautions to keep you and your family as safe as possible and leave it at that. If your bubble is ok then forget about what anyone else is doing.

duckme · 04/07/2020 05:53

As you say OP, the chances of us getting it severely are very low. It's not impossible that we can get it and it will do irreparable damage or worse, but the likelihood is low. I can't keep living this half life based on this probability. My children will have missed 6 months of education, of being teenagers, of enjoying the most carefree time they'll probably ever have in their lives. That doesn't make me calm. It doesn't make me calm to be told we'll have to 'control' them after school to prevent the spread of the virus. They've given up so much already, the kids have complied with everything and have been so hard hit that to head they need to be controlled, does not make me calm.
I was robbed of the last few weeks of my beloved Nan's life because of this virus-she didn't have covid, but we'd kept out distance from her as to protect her, she died on her home in her care home because we weren't allowed to visit her. She had dementia and probably wondered where the hell all of her family was. I can guarantee you OP, that makes me anything but calm.
I've always considered myself to be mentally strong, but these last few months have ripped me to shreds. And not once has the worry of catching coronavirus been the reason behind my mental health decline. It's the loss of our freedom, the worry of job security for millions, the concern for the abused, neglected children who haven't had their escape to school everyday. The DV sufferers, trapped with their abusers. And the fact that, for many months, there was no future, no plans to be made, nothing to look forward to. These things, to me, have caused me more concern than the virus, rightly or wrongly, I don't know. But we can't not live forever! We don't even know if a vaccine is possible.

Jrobhatch29 · 04/07/2020 05:54

You really need to stop. 3rd post like this in a week

ButterMeCrumpets · 04/07/2020 05:55

We can all die at any time. The home isn't even 100% safe. Choking, fires, falls etc happen.

Then we have disease which can kill at all ages.

Life isn't safe but wrapping yourself up in cotton wool to avoid risks isn't a life worth living.

I don't fear the virus. It isn't lurking round the corner when I leave the house waiting to get me.

Mojitomogul · 04/07/2020 05:57

I'm not scared because my sibling, which has chronic kidney disease and an awful autoimmune disease with many flare ups, caught covid and has managed to fight it off without having to have further treatment for it. Its made me feel better, even though there are no guarantees, my age and health stand me in good stead. I never panic about the flu every winter, so why would I panic about this. It's horrible how many people have died, but if you lose yourself to anxiety and worries you will make yourself ill from that.

BumbleWumble · 04/07/2020 06:05

@ButterMeCrumpets

We can all die at any time. The home isn't even 100% safe. Choking, fires, falls etc happen.

Then we have disease which can kill at all ages.

Life isn't safe but wrapping yourself up in cotton wool to avoid risks isn't a life worth living.

I don't fear the virus. It isn't lurking round the corner when I leave the house waiting to get me.

But actually from now on to all intents and purposes life must be lived wrapped in cotton wool, separated from others, never able to freely interact with other people again. Because this virus is so horribly contagious and so awful.

In order to try to live we have to, to a degree, stop living. The virus is so dreadful, that even if it doesn't kill us, it prevents us from fully living.

OP posts:
mightbealittlebitmad · 04/07/2020 06:09

@duckme

As you say OP, the chances of us getting it severely are very low. It's not impossible that we can get it and it will do irreparable damage or worse, but the likelihood is low. I can't keep living this half life based on this probability. My children will have missed 6 months of education, of being teenagers, of enjoying the most carefree time they'll probably ever have in their lives. That doesn't make me calm. It doesn't make me calm to be told we'll have to 'control' them after school to prevent the spread of the virus. They've given up so much already, the kids have complied with everything and have been so hard hit that to head they need to be controlled, does not make me calm. I was robbed of the last few weeks of my beloved Nan's life because of this virus-she didn't have covid, but we'd kept out distance from her as to protect her, she died on her home in her care home because we weren't allowed to visit her. She had dementia and probably wondered where the hell all of her family was. I can guarantee you OP, that makes me anything but calm. I've always considered myself to be mentally strong, but these last few months have ripped me to shreds. And not once has the worry of catching coronavirus been the reason behind my mental health decline. It's the loss of our freedom, the worry of job security for millions, the concern for the abused, neglected children who haven't had their escape to school everyday. The DV sufferers, trapped with their abusers. And the fact that, for many months, there was no future, no plans to be made, nothing to look forward to. These things, to me, have caused me more concern than the virus, rightly or wrongly, I don't know. But we can't not live forever! We don't even know if a vaccine is possible.
Exactly this. I'm scared of our freedoms being removed permanently but the virus? Nope.

Nobody will keep up social distancing long term, it's not natural and too high a price to pay for something so mild to the majority.

ButterMeCrumpets · 04/07/2020 06:11

But actually from now on to all intents and purposes life must be lived wrapped in cotton wool, separated from others, never able to freely interact with other people again. Because this virus is so horribly contagious and so awful.

In order to try to live we have to, to a degree, stop living. The virus is so dreadful, that even if it doesn't kill us, it prevents us from fully living.

That's where I think you need to get help for your anxiety. We don't have to stop living, we don't have to stop interacting with people. I never used to cuddle, kiss, get within 1 meter of any stranger. If you were standing within 1 meter of me in a queue you were too close pre COVID.

If isn't a horrible, dreadful disease to most people. It has potential to kill me but so has lots of things every day that doesn't stop me from living and getting on with it.

If you want to hide from life because of this disease then go ahead. That is just sitting in the house waiting to die of old age/disease/house accidents. I cannot think of anything worse.

I plan to live my life and will get back to normal (not the new normal) as soon as all the restrictions are lifted.

FromEden · 04/07/2020 06:16

Have you actually read the scientific articles about this virus and not just the fear filled headlines? Your chances of having a severe case are low, the odds of dying even lower. As in less than 1%. Even the majority of elderly people who catch it will survive and they are the highest risk group. The severe cases you read about are anomalies, thats why they make headlines and there is no scientific evidence as yet about long lasting damage being common.

Its here, we have to live with it. The same way we live with many other dangerous viruses. Life has to go on.

1300cakes · 04/07/2020 06:17

OP do you realise that everything you said about covid, also applies to basically every other virus out there? Any virus you can get might severely affect you, you could get organ damage, sepsis, guillain barre, cfs.

BertieBotts · 04/07/2020 06:18

I could turn this around and ask how are people so worried about it? But I do understand the media has been whipping this disease up into a frenzy of "what ifs".

There are complications from all kinds of things that there aren't vaccines for. You could get lyme disease, cancer (you probably will get cancer at some point, around 1/3 to 1/2 of people do), there are severe complications from things like flu, HFM, chicken pox, tonsilitis, UTIs, food poisoning, pregnancy. If you went and looked into the worst case scenarios for all of these things, you'd feel just as terrified of those as well, yet most people aren't terrified of everything.

You simply cannot worry about every bad outcome all the time, it will make you ill. You ARE healthy at this moment, so it's important to appreciate that and use it to its fullest. Nobody has any guarantees that they will still be healthy tomorrow, next week, next year. Take reasonable precautions against disease, yes, like washing your hands regularly, but other than this it doesn't make sense to live in terror of a disease.

It's my understanding that the world has "stopped" in order to allow health services some breathing room, not so much to prevent people getting the illness because it is so terrible. But I have deliberately avoided looking at any news articles about the effects of it, because I know they will be skewed and overblown for the max amount of drama/panic.

Ritascornershop · 04/07/2020 06:19

You’re focusing on worst case scenarios, as people keep saying. Where I live (not the UK), shops are open again, cafes and restaurants are starting to serve people (with distancing), we’ve had zero cases for about a month now. We had 5 deaths in a population of almost a million. - sad for the 5, but I can’t live in fear over numbers like that. And frankly, if it kills me it kills me, but the chances are highly unlikely.

My kids’ grandad’s 90-something lady friend had Covid and is fine now. She was asymptomatic. It’s not going to wipe out humankind.

AllAussieAdventures · 04/07/2020 06:20

"never able to freely interact with other people again". Unlikely, way too unnatural way for humans to live. The vast majority won't be able to maintain it for much longer.

At some point everyone who is going to die of Covid will die.

IDontDrinkTea · 04/07/2020 06:21

I work for the nhs. Since we’ve begun testing basically everyone, we’ve had lots of positive results for people with no symptoms, or people who’s symptoms are so mild they’ve put it down to hay fever and not even considered they have Covid. I think if you’re young and healthy, the risk is so minimal that I am not at all worried about getting back to normal. It is the at risk categories that perhaps should be slightly more cautious

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