I think I was naive.

[Gatorgator]

In my head - when this started - twelve weeks was worst case scenario. I knew the virus wouldn’t go away obviously, but I thought after twelve weeks the nhs would be better prepared, we’d know more about the virus and there would be a degree of acceptance that we just have to live alongside it and know there’s an elevated risk. I’m in an at risk category so I’m not just dismissing this risk.
However instead it seems that we are going to live like this indefinitely. I didn’t think theatres, sporting events etc would be open for a long time, nor did I think the travel industry would pick back up, but I did think I’d be able to visit my elderly parents who live two miles down the road.

Now it seems like this is the new normal. All meetings are going to be virtual. We are having (unsuccessful) virtual play dates with other children. The few friends I’m still communicating with I’m mainly messaging but really - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point?

There are a couple of big Christmas things nearby that are annual events and they are cancelled. More and more I’m coming to realise that this is it. This is in fact the new normal everyone keeps talking about. Only seeing the people you live with and being terrified to even leave the house to collect something essential like a prescription.

Your partner doesn’t allow you to FaceTime your friends? Sorry but there’s your problem.

IncrediblySadToo I think there are very very few people advocating a complete lift of lockdown immediately. Small steps are the key to this. However there is a significant number of the population that is resisting even the smallest steps.

It doesn’t help.

However I still feel that the risk to most people remains low, I feel I can say that as I’m in a higher risk group so I’m not dismissing that.
I just think people are so terrified that I don’t know where we go from here.

On a positive note, I walk in our local park everyday. I have never seen so many parents (particularly fathers) out playing with their children as I do now. The children look so happy. More family groups on bikes, playing frisbee, out walking dogs. Some children will remember this as a golden period with their families. Relaxed mornings, no frantic school run and sunny weather. I know not all children are so lucky though.

Sadly this is the new normal as most people seem willing to live like this for the foreseeable future. I mourn the loss of my old life. I used to love going to the theatre, to the cinema, out for dinner, and the occasional party. I can’t see any of these activities resuming any time soon, as everyone is terrified. My children were enjoying their sports and activities - one of them just made it into the team of their dreams when lockdown happened and another one was looking forward to a summer camp which they had auditioned for and got in to - and now they won’t be able to come back to these activities for a very long time, if at all, at which point all their hard work and progress will have been lost. This is very hard for them to deal with and they are feeling very low.

People around me are not sending their children to school until there is ‘zero risk’ - this is a direct quote. They are happy to wait for many years they say. Sadly some of us are going through huge financial distress right now and can’t really afford to put the world on hold for the next 12-18 months until there is a vaccine

Your partner not allowing you to FaceTime your friends is obviously an issue in itself.
But I hate FaceTime. My best friend lives 200 miles away, we try and see each other once or twice a year but for various reasons I didn’t see her for 2 years (we very luckily managed to meet up just before lockdown). I have never once spoken to her on FaceTime. We message, tag each other in stupid memes etc. We don’t even speak on the phone. When I saw her after 2 years things were exactly the same as normal.

better for someone who is retired to be stuck in the house for 18 months than for developing children, or for people of working age who will lose jobs and find it hard to find new ones

Speaking as " someone who has retired", I think that attitude stinks.

You will be " someone who has retired " one day. Someone who has adult children, very elderly family, a full and interesting life.Someone who volunteered, made a difference, cared for GC. Someone who slogged for 40 odd years and did their best.

How dare you tell us to hide away because we are second class citizens.
Does your segregation apply to members of the BAMEcommuniuty? Perhaps they could isolate in a 4 times more harsh way or 4 times more frequently?

There are many diseases for which we don't have a cure. But many have treatments.
The current situation is evolving and dynamic. A vaccine may be found, but as time passes the knowledge of how to treat this and how we can live with it will improve.
It's a bit grim right now for many people, and many people are feeling lonely, hopeless or bereft in some way.
But I don't think we will live life like this indefinitely. Even the Spanish flu which was much more infectious and deadly than this virus ceased to be such a danger after a couple of years. No treatment, no vaccine.

I think the thing is - if your partner allows you to FaceTime with friends etc it’s probably easier but mine doesn’t - although I don’t want to go into that here

Well I think we can all see why you are feeling so low OP.

The only advice I can give is to spend this time working on a plan to extricate yourself as soon as possible.

It should not have been this bad and that is on the government. They did not quarantine people travelling here like other counrires...they haven't mass produced and distributed masks.... they haven't done testing and tracing.

They haven't done what we need to live alongside the virus like other countries have and I am livid.

This rush to get out of lockdown IS going to waste the time we spent in lockdown because the R is still too high

Absolutely. You can see the second wave coming and then what has all this been for?

They could have held back just for a bit longer.

@Stuckforthefourthtime

I agree with much of your post. And I don’t really believe that the whole of DD’s future will look like this. The problem is that even a year is a massive period of time for a small child, and all this talk of social distancing being attempting in schools makes me worry for the generation of small children who are just starting out now, whose brains are still rapidly developing, who learn through play and interaction and who desperately need socialisation with their peers. Even these two months without interacting with other children have visibly changed DD (she’s an only). And the interests of children seem so glade down the priority lists - if the government can open garden centres now, why can’t they reopen outdoor playgrounds?

I am just very grateful that DD is not due to start school this September as I don’t think what is currently on the table as the ‘new normal’ for education will be in young children’s best interests.

I feel the same as you op. I am currently 32 weeks pregnant, and am in constant tears that I'm bringing a child into this situation. This baby was and is very much wanted, but the situation is unsustainable as it is, and I'm so worried for my unborn child, let alone my 4 year old who hasn't played with another child for weeks. The future looks so bleak, socially, financially, and there is no end date

I think it's harder on the under 40s because they have never lived through huge quick changes to life before Those of us older remember the impact of AIDS, of 9/11, of lockerbie, of the miners strike. Those of us that did remember the feeling of nothing will be ever be the same but know things will settle down. In a year memories of how things used to be will be vague and we will adapt.

Many of these posts have reflected very much what I am feeling. I can cope with lockdown for a period, and am not "terrified" of the illness itself (it is serious for some, but not for many), but I am depressed and scared for the future. If life is now to be nothing more than work (from home or otherwise), social distancing all the time and no opportunities for communal enjoyment of cultural, sporting or social events, then I start to wonder what the point is. I'm watching my 18 year old DC coping with the loss of all the travel and plans for a post A level summer and having to come to terms with the fact that going to university may well be nothing more than going to her bedroom and laptop to watch online lectures. They are trying very hard to be positive, but I can see the loneliness and sadness growing every day. People need to be able to meet up, with existing friends and family, but also to meet new people as they go through life. The idea that we are going to be in our household bubbles for many months, even years, is horrifying.

@Gatorgator

Well that's a different thing entirely if your partner doesn't let you. Do you have any real life support aside from him? Are you able to talk to anyone about things?

With respect@helpful, I don't think Lockerbie and Covid are on the same page.

It won’t last indefinitely. Yes social distancing in the interim will help us move through the hard stage. People getting back to work will hopefully help the economy not plummet too much.

It's hard OP I agree I feel the same as well exactly how you put it.
I just miss my family and friends so much right now and I don't think I can cope if this is now to be considered the new norm of never ever seeing our family and friends not being able to move freely without fear you'll be fined reported on etc it's a horrible existence.

However I do honestly believe that if our government don't pull their fingers out of their arses before July a lot of people will start to go about life as they see fit whether that's going back to seeing family and friends in person or if that's taking the fines and being able to visit different parts of the country they will do so.

Your right as well this is having such a massive knock on effect to people's mental health, children as well are being greatly affected by this lockdown especially those too young to fully understand why we are all band from seeing family and going to places freely like we once use too.
I also feel sorry for those with long term illnesses suffering because they can't get the right treatment needed to help them , those awaiting long needed ops or sadly those suffering domestic violence child abuse etc the economy is already fucked and I'm worried about the effect that will have for my DCs when they are older.

When schools go back I think things will feel different again too. Then restaurants with SD. Its going to be strange to adjust slowly back to normal.

Re pp who mentioned NZ, they are in a different place due to eliminating the virus. We are at a different stage.

There're still learning about the virus several entities have got vaccines under way or on test.

As time goes on there will be an element of herd immuinity.

New drugs are being trialed and tested and Remdisvier the anti virlal works to shorten the illness duiration their ramping up production of that now.

We'll just have to work around it and get on with it all as best we can.

My DG1 has been to his nursery and all is well there.

Cheer up!!!

Lock down harder for a few weeks, get the R rate right down then we will be able to social distance until they find a better treatment path and hopefully a vaccine.

I’d be on board with a slightly extended lockdown if it was time limited and the science suggested it would help. I’m actually more concerned about the impact of long-term social distancing - children especially just can’t be expected to do this until a vaccine turns up. Two years or more of no play or meaningful interaction with peers would be hugely damaging to them. It would also completely destroy many industries, many of which - I’m thinking arts and culture - are the ones that make life worth living for many people. And I’m optimistic that there will be a vaccine, but we can’t pin all our hopes on this and put our lives on hold in the meantime.

@Drivingdownthe101 I agree there has to be a balance but you being willing to "get back out there" doesn't make you some kind of martyr who's takes on risk themselves for the common good. If you catch it you are very likely to spread it to others. Likewise those wanting to stay at home aren't necessarily selfish - it's totally valid to want an extended lock down for the good of the community/country and especially the vulnerable.

It may be soothing to work on losing any sense of blame. Also, to accept that this too will pass one day and in the meantime it is proven that by minimising contact we reduce spread. This is no-one’s fault; it is just new, deadly and a fact.

It’d probably also help a great deal if we had less macho and blokey leaders, using the language of war, when what we need is emotional intelligence - empathy, soothing words to build community support through exhausting and trying times ~ typically female. From the DM “ waffle, topped off with a Dad’s Army slogan - ‘stay alert’. From the moment they have to listen out for a baby crying at night or an ageing parent breathing with difficulty, women are on the ‘alert’. It’s in our DNA.”

I'm also one of those happy to get back out there . We need to manage this virus , and we need solutions not obstacles to do so .
Take schools for example we need ways to make this work, ok some aren't happy about school starting in June but what if the virus is around in September/October and so on . This can't go on indefinitely we need to find a way to make this work , so we can on living a life not existing.
The economy is only going to get worse and worse.