I think I was naive.

[Gatorgator]

In my head - when this started - twelve weeks was worst case scenario. I knew the virus wouldn’t go away obviously, but I thought after twelve weeks the nhs would be better prepared, we’d know more about the virus and there would be a degree of acceptance that we just have to live alongside it and know there’s an elevated risk. I’m in an at risk category so I’m not just dismissing this risk.
However instead it seems that we are going to live like this indefinitely. I didn’t think theatres, sporting events etc would be open for a long time, nor did I think the travel industry would pick back up, but I did think I’d be able to visit my elderly parents who live two miles down the road.

Now it seems like this is the new normal. All meetings are going to be virtual. We are having (unsuccessful) virtual play dates with other children. The few friends I’m still communicating with I’m mainly messaging but really - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point?

There are a couple of big Christmas things nearby that are annual events and they are cancelled. More and more I’m coming to realise that this is it. This is in fact the new normal everyone keeps talking about. Only seeing the people you live with and being terrified to even leave the house to collect something essential like a prescription.

Now it seems like this is the new normal. All meetings are going to be virtual. We are having (unsuccessful) virtual play dates with other children. The few friends I’m still communicating with I’m mainly messaging but really - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point?

I feel the same way. It's so depressing. I can't see how we're supposed to form new friendships and relationships, and it's a lonely thought.

Well - if I’m never seeing them again then what’s the point? Messaging and face timing won’t sustain a close friendship indefinitely.

There’s some new research published very recently which confirms that Vitamin D levels play a significant role in protecting against viral infections, COVID included. Take a supplement and get out in the sun if you can.

The research was referenced in Dr. John Campbell’s upload on YouTube yesterday

I’m struggling with this too OP. Every day now feels a bit like I’m in a Kafka novel - dystopian, claustrophobic and full of rules that I find ludicrous and damaging but can’t escape from. I feel like a don’t understand people any more, including many whose views I’ve almost been allied with myself.

DP and I have abided by the lockdown ‘rules’ but have hated it from day one. DP - normally a stoical type and an arch-pragmatist - is the most depressed I’ve ever seen him, and with my own experience studying child development it’s heartbreaking to think that social distancing may well be what DD2 has to grow up with. If this is indeed the case it’s going to lead to a generation of messed up, isolated, poorly socialised kids.

What I’ve been shocked by most in this is how at odds I feel with all the people who still seem to be loving lockdown, and who seem to want little out of life other than home, garden and nuclear family. Maybe a bit of Netflix and a takeaway as a ‘treat’. The thought that I might not step inside a theatre for years, or properly travel, or hear live music, or hug a friend, makes me not want to carry on. It’s not that I’m not ‘resilient’ (I hate people who spout on about resilience when really they mean ‘putting up with a load of crap without complaining’), it’s that I see our supposed ‘new normal’ as an existence, not a life, and unlike many others I don’t see it as being our only alternative.

But it’s clear to me that many (most?) people have far less appetite for risk than I have; when Professor David Spiegelhalter says that only 2 out of 10 million UK under 15s have died, they would rather keep their child cooped up indoors than risk them being one of those two. I completely get the fear in those who are genuinely more at risk, and the older, the vulnerable and the shielding should be protected and helped as much as possible through all this - but to me the sacrifice of a whole generation’s physical, social and economic well-being is too great and the virus itself insufficiently lethal, to change our entire way of live for indefinitely.

As others have said, it’s not going anywhere so we need to live with it - and properly live, not this cowed half-life where children can’t play, musicians can’t perform and you can’t hug your own mother for fear of death.

I agree too, I feel like I’m just wasting my life and everything is on hold. It’s made me feel like my ‘normal’ life is quite frivolous and That enjoying going out, holidays, festivals group sports etc is looked down upon now. Im also covering for colleagues on furlough who are having a lovely time, and that doesn’t help.

I think there is going to be a tipping point, where the majority of people would rather take the risk and get the virus rather than carry on with SD etc long term without regard for overwhelming the NHS.

I think of it as a year out of my life of several repeated tightening and loosening of restrictions as Infection numbers rise and fall at which point while it won't be over there will likely (hopefully) be successful treatments like antiviral medication in place that have an impact which make it less deadly, vaccine work will be much further on and it will be clearer what the timeline will be for that combined with very many more people having had it already which then gives an answer about if that has helped with immunity or if the severity of the impact of a reinfection will be less dangerous.

Thinking about it in terms of weeks just brings repeated disappointment and stress.

The shielded obviously is facing the hardest time because they are stuck inside and in limbo until there is some kind of effective treatments or vaccine.

Agree with everything you say TempsPerdu

There have been prevalent viruses before and there will be again. People have been isolating to prevent the NHS becoming overwhelmed not to stop us all getting it. Yes it is scary and if I think about it too much I find it difficult. It seems a shame that you believe you won't see your friends again, of course you will. I will be going to see mine again at some point in the future and keeping in touch with them is a good way to keep your mental health at a more even keel.

But the nhs isn’t overwhelmed... and we are currently all still isolating.
If we stop isolating - the nhs will likely become much more stretched.
So do we never stop isolating?

Of course you’ll see them again! Things will be different for a while but it will get back to normal at some point.

Most of my friends - female, under 35, no underlying health conditions, seem to think that if they step outside the door they will die.
I have quite a few who are ‘self isolating until there’s a vaccine.’

There’s some new research published very recently which confirms that Vitamin D levels play a significant role in protecting against viral infections, COVID included. Take a supplement and get out in the sun if you can.

That’s great, and I’m interested in the Vitamin D link too, but I don’t think most of the posters on this thread are scared of the virus as such - it’s more the ongoing response to it and the idea that social distancing will inevitably carry on indefinitely.

I don’t know Blue - I thought so too at first, but now I’m not so certain.

I think what really gets me is that there is absolutely nothing to look forward to, nothing in the calendar. I can't see that I will ever go back to just browsing in the shops for fun, taking a cookery or craft course, get excited about planning a holiday or just going out to the pub or a restaurant, without feeling extremely anxious about being around people in general.

You’re being very over dramatic with your ‘well I’m never seeing them again’

I am also one of those who would be much happier to learn how to live with the virus in the way that humans have always had to learn to live with the threat of death and in the same way that we've had to learn to live run the threat of terrorism, for example. I'm extremely vulnerable (but not shielded) and have a baby but I recognise that, even then, the risk is low and I'm far more concerned about what we are all losing out on now.

I am finding it increasingly difficult to countenance such massive restrictions that impact on my life and mental health when the risk to me and the vast majority of the population under 40 is so low.

There is a risk - but a very very very small one - to me when I walk out the door. I appreciate and support that there was a short term need to lockdown everyone to put systems and procedures in place to protect more vulnerable. But I will find it very difficult to continue to tolerate the restrictions on my life just because protections for the vulnerable are are not being properly put in place.

I honestly don't think we will carry on like this indefinitely, I don't think the current situation is "the new normal". Either we will get a vaccine or effective treatment, or people will stop distancing regardless and accept the risks.

9 weeks ago I sat with a colleague of mine and read the site plan for when things got really, really bad. We expected at this point for the place we work to be like a disaster movie. It is not. It is not even close to as bad as we thought it would be, here. And that gives me hope even when I am having a bad, bad day.

My DM is of the 'never going out again until there is a vaccine' mindset and I hope she changes her mind... but if she doesn't that's her choice.

Statistically the death rate for my condition is around 7%.
I still feel a bit it is what it is. I could hide away for years, go out the next day and catch it.

Why are you catastrophising that you'll never see friends again? This isn't going to be forever, it's just for longer than most folk initially thought, and will ebb and flow a bit. We don't know yet how we'll live alongside the virus, but this is not what the rest of your life looks like.

I have perhaps 10 years of healthy active life ahead of me. My life focusses on volunteering on a nature reserve. My DH is shielding. I can't bear the thought of being confined to the house for certainly one and probably two or three years of those 10. Yes, I know I'm lucky, less financial insecurity, my own garden, DH so not living on my own - but a big part of my life has been taken from me.

And it just makes it worse when everyone else is talking about "getting back to normal" and posting their facebook pictures of their first long trips out, and we're excluded from this, and apparently forgotten. Everyone thinks of the shielded as fragile elderly people who never went out anyway, but they're not - a lot of them are people used to very active and full lives.

Exactly that FFSFFSFFS. I have done what has been asked of me for the reasons given to me... a short term lockdown to ease the burden on the NHS. But daily the goal posts are shifting. And while I think we need to do everything in our power to support the most vulnerable (financially, practically and emotionally), I am not willing to put my entire life on hold for what is a minuscule risk to most people. I have taken a fair few risks in my life, with a much higher chance of harm to me than COVID19 has.

I also agree with you @TempsPerdu - although I do think more and more people feel the same, it's just not a popular opinion. I'm seeing more and more groups who are clearly not family members physically close when I go out for my walks, particularly in the last week.

People are back at work and given where I live, a lot of people are using public transport to get there. schools are phasing going back, and for all the shouting "not my child" I predict most of those who are able to send their DCs back to school will do. I've just seen the planning for one of the local schools, they plan to put children in small groups than the normal classes, but not try to socially distance within that group. If any child has symptoms, all of that group will be asked to isolate for 14 days.

As more people catch it, then recover, the fear will drop.

I'm hoping we'll get back to closer to normal by the end of the summer, but don't think mass gatherings like gigs and theatre performances will be allowed until the New Year.