Are you visiting family now? Truthfully!

[IsntThatYourThirdPlate]

another week another argument with OH he’s determined to bring the kids to his mums tomorrow they’ve organised it behind my back he’s just said to me now I’m going to pop over my mums with the kids tomorrow.

I feel like I’m being controlling but then my mum hasn’t seen the kids either. What are others doing?

From Covid-19 that is.

Nope, and I don't intend to any time soon. My mother's nose was put out of joint when I said she couldn't visit us at Easter. I am vulnerable (not extremely vulnerable) and my brother who lives with my mum is extremely vulnerable (and therefore shielding). My DH has non socially distant contact with people because of his work, I'm not adding in any more risk than I need to (either for me and the kids or my brother via my mum).

Cat “ Yes, ever since lockdown began, been shopping/cleaning/cooking for my 93 year old aunt who is desperately lonely and said she'd rather die from it than be alone. Call me selfish, I don't care, but it's what she wanted.”

This is totally the right thing to do.

My (D)H started going to his family few weeks back (I had a thread about it), then took kids to family bbq last weekend and brought them+ another child from the bbq back to our house after couple of hours and went back to bbq by himself :( Then yesterday he brought family member home for 'a visit'- yesterday could not take it anymore and almost threw both of them out. Now his family are angry at me, H and I do not talk and I am so so upset.
Haven't seen my DSis since beginning of March (she is frontline NHS), have seen my DPs through patio door when I drop food for them only a handful of times since March, yet, idiot H is just can not understand that he can not see his family at the moment. Upset is not the word I want to use describing my feeling towards him and all his idiot family :(

Nope haven't seen any family or friends since before all this started. Both families live 50+ miles away, but even if we lived round the corner I wouldn't. My in laws are much older than my parents and in poor health so they've decided to shield, my parents are younger but not worth the risk

I have not seen my family at all but know lots of people that have been going out to visit their family as normal.I feel so shit about it and its so not fair but then I can't seem to bring myself to go and visit my loved ones without being scared.

“ but know lots of people that have been going out to visit their family as normal.”

I dont know anyone who does this unless my friends are lying to me and tbh I can see why people would lie at the mo.

Yes. Started going to my mums two weeks ago. Once a week for a walk with the dogs and lunch.

Only my nana - dropping shopping off or walking past on the dog walk and standing chatting to her for 15 mins or so (outdoors and 2m at least away).
My mum has turned up unannounced twice at mine and sat in the garden - but it makes me feel uneasy. I am only really leaving the house for drs appts and the very rare trip to the local coop as I’m in the vulnerable group. I’m quite happy not to visit family for the time being.

Yes we are - all older gen family members have been self isolating from the start which hasn't changed. All younger immediate family ie myself, DP, DS, DIL, DGS have mixed with very minimum contact but we've all worked from the start of lockdown, and there's been some overlap of DGS childcare. Purely because there's nowhere else for him to go and no work means no pay, means forfeiting rent, shopping, gas/elec (non UC eligible). We keep spare clean tumble dried clothing in the garage, wash hands at outside tap, use masks and gloves, social distance at the door. But the reality is if we don't then they'll likely be evicted when the legal rights to kick back in, and what do they do for food/utilities in the meantime? We know the risks, but not being able to eat/live is a higher risk IMHO.

No - I've dropped off/received food from my sisters a couple of times, but not really stopped to chat. Not seen my Mum at all. Honestly, I don't miss them much at all. I get on with them, but don't have much in common, and only do a weekly video chat out of obligation. I don't have any friends I'm keen to meet up with once we're allowed to, either. I'd be quite happy to just live in a bubble with DH and DCs for months/years really.

Nope. Most of them are healthcare workers and a couple of those who aren’t are extremely vulnerable and I’m vulnerable so we’re all sticking to the rules. I’d love to see them but for now Skype will have to do

No, not seen any relatives of DH but none of mine live here anyway. I have seen half my neighbours at it though.

Yes, helping DM with paperwork and other stuff she can't do herself in the house. Also taken her to hospital.

Nope.

Never spent any time with them before Covid restrictions anyway, so lockdown has been immaterial it that sense. No great rush to see them once it's over, assuming they're all still upright and breathing, either.

It’s interesting to me how some are saying “yes” and others are saying “no” but with exactly the same circumstances - so they have seen family from a distance to chat to whilst dropping off shopping or similar. I would love that kind of contact - PILs live nearby but I have a toddler who wouldn’t cope with not going to them (and they have refused anyway, which is their right), and my parents live 300 miles away and my mum is working as a doctor. Being able to see my mum at the end of my driveway and showing her her new grandchild would mean a lot to me, even though obviously it’s Still much less than I would like. But It’s really interesting that some class this as “seeing family” but others don’t.

I've stood in my daughters garden but she has access into her garden without going through the house. This is fine. So if you can access open space without going through a house yes but two of you can't meet her it has to be one to one. So that's not fine. Unless you send the child on her own. Which of course you can't 🤪

Yes.

A few driveway/window visits with social distancing but yesterday they came inside and hugged their grandkids.

I have a six month old and three year old and together with my husband we've been isolating for weeks. No supermarket trips, no walks, etc. My parents have been doing the same. We will continue to do this until my husband goes back to work in a few weeks on one of the largest construction sites in London. It's most certainly safer to see them now than once he is back so it's a risk we all took.

I really am in shock the amount of people have said yes. I could never forgive myself if I made a family member sick or worse killed them.

Im meeting my son tomorrow to walk his puppy

Dh let his stepmum in yesterday briefly. She stood in the kitchen, kept 2m away, didn't hug dd.

Weve all worked throughout so dh and I spend our days with a couple of hundred other people ( not medical setting). It seems a bit odd not to see one more. No physical contact though and only for 10 mins. All three of us practicing social distancing and good hygiene at work.

Perhaps we see it as less of a threat as weve never not had lots of people in our personal space.

Yes, a couple of them, socially distant walks.

I have two stepsons too and have not been distancing from them as they have been able to come and go, being Dh's dc. They're in school 3 days a week as their mum is a key worker (wfh, not front line) I figure I'm much more at risk of catching it from them than I am my dm or my mil. I've only seen dm once though however moving forward will see her every two weeks or so.

I've also been seeing a friend who lives alone for a distance walk a couple of times a week. I'm worried about her mental health.

Obviously if we are told to go back into hard lockdown I would comply without hesitation.

hellywelly3 surely as long as it's rare, you maintain 2 metres distance at all times and keep impeccable hygiene, having a walk with a relative is no different to walking alongside a stranger?

@hotstepper4 totally agree

No but no-one lives within 150 miles but if DS was nearer we would have seen him while social distancing in an open space.