Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare

[Disneylover4321]

Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare.
They are not doing it because they want to but they are doing it because they have to.
They are doing what is best for their family.

Thanks @Disneylover4321and @Stuckforthefourthtime

I am well and hoping to continue to work. I am a keyworker and afaik there is a childcare setting local which I could use.

However I don't see how this is safer for our family than DS staying with his GPs where he will only be in contact with them as opposed to several children who have parents working on the front line. We wouldn't be flitting between houses, he would be there for at least 2 weeks and I would not be travelling to visit in that time in order to keep risk to a minimum.

I understand that there are situations (DV and tension at home) where members of a household can move out to cool off but this does not apply to us.

A situation has arisen within my partner's family which is quite serious, upsetting and unavoidable. My partner wont be able to look after my child and if I send my DC to random childcare my partner will have to move out too.

If I use common sense and combine that with the fact children can move between the households of parents who are separated, then I know it's fine, but none of the guidelines say that it's ok if they are not a parent or have official responsibility for the child.

Sorry to derail the thread, just wanted to explain.

@Waxonwaxoff0

Response to your post on page 2:

Using family or friends is better then using childcare, for the below reasons:

1.the child will know the family member or friend.

1. A childminder will have children from more than one household, therefore increasing the risk.
2. If using family, they will know the child and their individual needs, friends may even know this too.

Actually if you want to totally up with the rules I don't think even in normal times you can use a friend for regular childcare for work as they have to be ofsted registered , didn't 2 policewomen I believe get in trouble for this as they were each looking after the others child's on opposite shifts . Not saying I agree with the rule just that is what I thought was the case of a non family member

@Easilyanxious

I'm not talking about official childcare, I am talking about a friend helping a friend.

Yes but I thought this wasn’t allowed if was a regular thing either
I don’t agree with that and don’t think you are doing anything g wrong , just that I’m sure this is the case in normal times
Never used to be as I liked after my friends daughter once a week for years as I was home with mine and friends help out ,

People should be using childcare rather than putting family at risk.

Could someone direct me to the childcare that I’m able to use?

Nannies? I’ve contacted some but surprisingly and despite the popular opinion on MN, they weren’t any who just happened to be waiting on a global pandemic and available...

Nursery? Well no, because only one of us a key worker they can’t help.

Childminders - see above.

Disneylover. Do what you need to.

My friend had offered to help me because she knows I’m really struggling. I haven’t taken her up on it because I don’t think as a public sector employee I can allow my employment to endanger another family/flout the rules. But believe me I’m tempted.

I have a stepchild who still visits, who’s other step siblings still visit him with a key worker in each household. So for us I can’t see that it’s any different in terms of practical risk.

Key workers are allowed to use family child care. I am doing so and will continue to do so. If anyone doesn't like it, they can whinge on these threads and I still won't care hth

Risk increases as age increases. So unless your childminder is elderly, you'd be better off using them.

But no, you're not forced to work. Universal Credit?

I agree with @TriangleBingoBongo

Can someone direct us to what childcare we 'should' be using?

@TriangleBingoBongo

I have sent you a PM x

@HatRack

I do have to work thank you!!!

@HackAttack

Exactly, if they don't like it they can whinge.
But at the end of the day we are just doing what is best for our families.

As of tomorrow Childminders can open for 1 additional family alongside key worker families and then from the 1st of June to other families.

@glitterelf

But all of the childminders I have spoken to in out area are not currently working.

*our

Use your common sense and don't bother asking a bunch of internet sprites for permission.

@TinRoofRusty

I am, I was asking people not to criticise people who have to do it.

If you need to work then you have to do what have to do
Anyone who criticises can fuck off unless they are going to pay your mortgage

Sorry the morning info is dripping through and not clear I've read one statement that advises as per my previous post then I've read that only childminders who don't have key worker or vulnerable children can open for children from one household. The Early Years Alliance is pushing the DFE for clarification but as it stands currently with less than 24hrs Childminders are being told they can open to one household if they are not caring for key worker or vulnerable families.

@user1487194234

Thank you for that. Honestly.

That is exactly what I felt like typing.

www.pacey.org.uk/news-and-views/news/news-pacey-works-with-dfe-to-clarify-re-opening-g/

www.eyalliance.org.uk/news/2020/05/childminders-partially-open-13-may-onwards

I also think you shouldn't mix household but as things are relaxing now and if you've got no choice you've got no choice .
Saying that to come on here yabu a little because you will get people disagreeing with you and like you say you have no choice so just carry on and don't worry about it .

@Disneylover4321 hopefully the above info is helpful however you just need to do what you think is best for you and your family. The information for providers just isn't clear nor is it filtering through to the relevant people instead childcarers like myself are having to trawl for the answers and often the advice can be conflicting or change as quickly as the wind. It's no wonder parents don't know where to turn to.