Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare

[Disneylover4321]

Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare.
They are not doing it because they want to but they are doing it because they have to.
They are doing what is best for their family.

I am guessing people only know if the people doing it bleat on about it, otherwise if it's just random people shouldn't do it full stop rather than directed to an individual, who cares?

Are your children just going to the one friend‘a house or to two different households?

Grandparents are no less capable of hand washing, cleaning surfaces, changing clothes than childminders.

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

To the one friends house.

@OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe

Some people have no other choice though unfortunately.

On any subject ppl will support or be critical.
To be fair it all depends on your standpoint and I don't think there is a wrong or right answer.

I would say though that the situation may change at any moment and you may want to look at alternative arrangements.

If cleaners and nannies are now allowed to return to work and if those same cleaners and nannies go home at the end of the working day to their own families, how is this different to what OP is doing? How is it less risky?

@TedsFederationRep

It's not.

@LucieLucie that’s not true, where did you hear that?
Childminders can have 6 under 8s so potentially 6 or more families.

People should be using childcare rather than putting family at risk.

What's the difference in terms of risk?

I also agree, childcare is better than using grandparents, friends, extended family.

Like I say, it’s a lot of pressure knowing that by helping out by looking after someone else’s kids you are by proxy responsible for whether that family can stay afloat -its pretty (unintentionally)coercive.

@TedsFederationRep

If I had any other option I would do that but I don't and i need to work to provide for my family.

My sister has two kids with additional needs. I'm a carer for them. We went into lock down in our own houses a week before we needed to add I have a compromised immune system. We haven't seen anybody else since day one and we move between each other's houses and that's it. I have been specially trained to deliver a therapy to my dn. It's worked brilliantly for us in terms of sharing the load of kids to ensure she gets a brief respite and I don't go bonkers on my own. A friend of mine has a child with additional needs and nursery's won't take him due to his issues. So she called our local mp and they mp said that as she was a key worker it would be fine to do the kid off with her parents .

I'm not going to judge anybody. I don't care if you are having a bbq, or ten visitors etc. I'm doing what's best for me and mine to minimise the risks and so your behaviours are very unlikely to impact me in any way.

Its the judgmental arse holes that have driven me bonkers during lock down. Just step away from your curtains and mind your own.

Disney, I don't have any problem with what you are doing. Needs must. I don't see any difference between your friend providing childcare and you paying a nanny to do the same (other than the money bit, of course).

The underlying message I took from the Stay Alert announcement was "be sensible". It sounds to me as though you are doing what is absolutely necessary as well as trying to be sensible.

I think childminders having children from more than one family at the same time is quite a lot riskier than a family member having one set of children at a time.
My childminder had children from 3 families in her care. I would have considered that very risky.

@endofthelinefinally

Exactly.

@TedsFederationRep
Oh sorry, I thought that you was trying to say that you had a problem with it sorry.

Also, my friend offered to have my children for 2 days.

I was actually trying to support you, Disney. Sorry if that wasn't clear

I also agree, childcare is better than using grandparents, friends, extended family
But isnt that putting elses family at risk?

Actually, childminders are only allowed to be open to two families per day at the moment. This is risk assessed and the care is managed to minimise the risk of cross infection.

And are the childminders cleaning every hard surface in all rooms used by the children every single day? Including every single toy? Keeping the children from different families separate/socially distant?

@TedsFederationRep

Sorry.

My mother in law went nuts when I was first thinking about trying to get pregnant and mentioned looking into nurseries. She’s from a Mediterranean culture where it’s normal for extended family to care for children while their parents work. I can guarantee that she feels the opposite of ‘pressure’ to look after DD.

Why is childcare better than using family? Are childminders somehow less at risk from the virus than a family member?

What's the difference in terms of risk?

Age. Using elderly family is putting them at risk, not the kids.

@Kleeo two families is the rules at the moment in my area (I'm not in England) I assumed it was the same across the uk. If not apologies and yes I agree that the risk there is higher as you can't keep all those children 2m apart or keep things sanitized in between touching.

The bottom line is not the 'rules' as some people have no choice if their employer is forcing them to come in

The 'rules' only need to work for the majority, at some point some people will have to break them - it only requires 70% of us to keep to the rules to keep the R number below 1.