Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare

[Disneylover4321]

Can people please stop criticising people who are having to use parents, family members or friends for childcare.
They are not doing it because they want to but they are doing it because they have to.
They are doing what is best for their family.

@bigchris

It's not that east unfortunately.

I don't have any option but to take them to my friends.

*easy

@stretchedmarks

Exactly.

Our son nornally goes to nursery 1 day a week and my parents have him 2 days a week. This has been the arrangement since he was 10 months old. He is now 3.
My partner is at home at the moment so he is also at home, but once my partner goes back out to work he will be going to my parents again so I can work.
I was reading about this earlier on gov.uk and as my job is listed on the key worker list, with every other job out there it would seem, he is able to continue to be looked after by my parents as they arent in any vulnerable groups. They are under 60, retired and healthy. It specially states this is allowed.
If he can go to nursery, he can go there where there is less risk as far as I am concerned.

@Yorkshirepudding1987
As you a key worker he can go to nursery if he needs to.

This question was asked on the Q&A section of the BBC and if the childcare is essential then it's allowed.

I provide care for my GC. Usually I would drop/puck up at school/nursery, but it makes sense to keep them both with me. The Nursery is closed. We minimise risk.

This is a virus with a 1% death rate. 80% of us will get mild symptoms. Two children have died from Covid. Twenty have died from Chicken pox
This situation isn't a good enough reason for my DD to lose her job and house.

The transmission routes and rates have got to be weighed up realistically and individually. Childcare is essential.

@DCITennison, many relatives happily commit to childcare.

@ponoka7

It's ok if there is no other choice.

I think it isnt specifically 'allowed' because then people would just jump to 'well if my children are there, I might as well socialise with them too' and before you know it people are just socialising with family again.

If you read between the lines, there's no difference in risk so be pragmatic, young children can't just be dropped off with a random childminder if they usually are cared for by family, and people who don't usually pay for childcare are going to be able to now.

"Two children have died from Covid."

No
It's still a v tiny number, but just to be accurate;

latest ONS stats released today show 10 died up to 1 May, plus the baby a few days ago wasn't included,
so total = 11

@BigChocFrenzy

Exactly.

The risk is not to the children, but to the adult providing childcare

If that adult chooses to do so for money, that's their decision

If a GP chooses to take the risk, because they want to see their GDC every day, ditto

However, an adult family member may feel they have no choice, because otherwise their adult child could lose their job,
or they may be emotionally blackmailed into it

If the GP is one of those who felt tied down before COVID, being expected to provide childcare for years,
then adding this risk is yet one more burden

Sometimes difficult to tell how "willing" your free childcare really is.

@BigChocFrenzy

I know that. However my friend offered and I don't have any other option.

If anyone can think of any other options that they would like to suggest they go ahead.

What about if the family actually moved in with the grandparents? If both parents were WFH so not expanding their "bubble" at all. The kids wouldn't be exposed to anyone additionally either so how is this extra risk to the grandparents? (Aside from the very small risk of bringing the virus with you when you move in - something that is unlikely after 7 wrrks of lockdown).

@lolalollypop

Unfortunately neither me or my friend have enough room in our houses for this.

'Hello, I've seen loads of people on other forums and social media near us criticising it."
Then say something to them, not to MNers who aren't critising you.

I'm not in this position but the government must be expecting children of people who cannot work from home to be cared for by someone if the employer is not sympathetic.

Who am I to judge someone who has no alternative but to use grandparent care in order to feed. their family.

Good old Tory government at it's finest isn't it. Put the working classes at risk. Herd immunity by stealth.

@noteverythingisblackandwhite

I have! Thank you!

If your friend offered without you asking, then she's a real pal

I'd accept the offer, but see what big favours I could do in return

@BigChocFrenzy

She offered first but knew that I was going to struggle.

@disneylover4321

I understand he can still go to nursery, but the rules also say he can still be cared for by my parents or friends/ other relatives. So if he can, then I dont see why others can't do the same now everyone is being told to work if they can.
As long as people are being sensible I dont see a problem with it and I'd do the same if I was in your position.

I'm a childminder only open for front line key workers right now, the only criticism I have seen is where people are actively opening and promoting themselves as childminders who are not and completely unregistered. I think we all need to do what we can to get each other through these difficult times and friends helping one another out shouldn't be an issue. All childcare settings are closed to all non key worker families with the aim to reopen these settings in line with primary schools the announcement will be made on the 28th May as to whether these settings and schools can open. I can sense some hints of criticism towards childminders on this thread for earning money, we are in the middle of a pandemic and we have actively been encouraged to continue to provide childcare to key workers so that they can provide their services and to support them in doing so. Now I've not taken on any new children I've only opened for those that meet the criteria and I've been caring for these children for a long time, surely you can understand that by continuing to send these children to me during this time gives the children some form of normality and takes the strain off parents turning to grandparents or other family members ? I won't lie it was a hard decision on whether to stay open or not but I made my decision to continue to support my families which wasn't based on a monetary value.

@Yorkshirepudding1987

Oh, I thought you was asking if he could go to nursery

@Yorkshirepudding1987

Sorry.