Please, Please help me. I don’t know what to do :(

[GabyAby84]

I genuinely feel like I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m frightened and I’m struggling to cope.

I’m a 34 year old female.
BMI 32, I have psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis and mild asthma.
I was diagnosed many years ago, and since being diagnosed there have been several periods where I don’t take inhalers at all. I’m currently taking them again due to the ongoing pandemic.

I live with my husband he’s working from home.

We don’t leave the house unless it’s to use click and collect service for our shopping, but we get deliveries where we can.

I feel like I’m doing everything I can to avoid getting the virus but yet from the minute I wake up to the minute I go back to sleep, I’m in complete panic that I’ve caught it.

I literally cannot think of anything else.
I take my temperature several times a day, I’m worried I’ve got a cough or will develop one. Any slight throat tickle, body ache, or even feeling tired all just send me into a frenzy.

Every single day I feel like I have the biggest darkest cloud just looming over me.

I just cannot pick myself up from this.

I have a lovely group of friends and most weeks we have a girls night in. We do this over zoom and all make the effort to get ourselves glammed up, have a glass of wine and chat.

I’m starting to not even enjoy those, the girls all talk about future plans and things they’re excited about doing again, but i struggle to joint in as I don’t see a future for myself. I just feel like it’s a matter of time until my time is up.

I went for a walk a few days ago and as I came to the railway bridge I suddenly thought how easy it would be to jump, to end all of this constant worry and fear.

It frightened me so much as I’ve never ever felt like that before.

I’ve spoken to a Dr and they’ve suggested anti depressants and referred me for some counselling.

But that’s only going to help me come to terms with things. I’ve got to just learn to live like this haven’t I.
But how can I? It feels like complete and utter torture spending my days the way I do.

The days are just too hard. I’m driving myself, and my husband insane with my constant fear, crying and panic.

I know there will be a lot of people who are worried right now, I’m not alone.
But please please someone tell me how you manage?

I don’t see any point to my life right now.
I see no future.

I’ve stopped getting dressed and my days are just spend in my Pjs on the sofa waiting for symptoms to start and preparing to die. :(

Please someone tell me how to get over this, because I honestly don’t think I ever can or will.

[sundaymorningfeeling]

You sound like I did when I had quite severe depression and anxiety.

Take the antidepressants and don't worry if they make you feel a bit strange for a few days. Take them.

They won't take the fear away, we all have the fears if I'm honest and that is entirely normal. But they should help reduce the fear from being so consuming and allow you to function and think through things with more clarity.

It will, I promise, get better. I too was in pjs, wouldn't go out, didn't enjoy speaking to friends etc. One month on tablets and I was coping a lot better, in small ways to start with.

I took them for a few months and it helped.

[pinkoneblueone]

As an asthmatic who has had the virus it's awful but we survived it. The media are scaremongering us and there are deaths being registered as the virus which actually may not be the virus which is what is making it more scary. You will be ok. It's uncomfortable, it's sore but there is help there if you get sick. You are being cautious which is all anyone can do.

I would speak to the doctor again take the medicine, I lived off Kalms for about a month while I was sick my anxiety made me feel worse and I didn't sleep properly because of it. So get the help now as there is no shame in admitting you need it. You are not alone in this!

[DamnYankee]

CV is a fact, but the catastrophizing and anxiety are huge liars.
This is what you should do when you can't stop your head from spiraling. When the broken record starts ("But I could die...), do something physical. Take a shower, pull up weeds, even drink a glass of water. It takes some willpower, but it works.
Also keep an A/D diary. Write down any side-effects, lift of mood, decrease in appetite and length of said effects. A/D's can take a while to get into your system, as many posters have mentioned.
I sort of understand the "med-free" thing, but if you had an ear infection or strep throat, would you turn down the anti-biotics? I'd say thoughts as dark as yours have been warrant some medical intervention.

[DamnYankee]

And the diary doesn't have to be prosy, either. I kept mine in my planner and marked down a face (happy, sad, flat affect) and symbols for different symbols, like NA for "no appetite," or I/N for "insomnia." I'd continue that symbol until the effect went away. It helped me see how far I'd come and determine if the side effects were minimal and ultimately right for me. Not all A/Ds work for all people.

[DamnYankee]

*symbols for certain side-effects

Anyway, then I could walk away and not dwell on whatever it was

[GabyAby84]

@damnyankee

I sort of understand the "med-free" thing, but if you had an ear infection or strep throat, would you turn down the anti-biotics? I'd say thoughts as dark as yours have been warrant some medical intervention.


I came off my rheumatology medication at the beginning of the year under the guidance of my rheumatologist.
My arthritis was in a good condition and I wanted to start a family so this is what was the best choice for me.

I will be taking the anti depressants, I don’t have any problems with taking mediations :)

[MitziK]

The timescale between coming off the meds and feeling awful is textbook for a flare.

There are medications you can take that aren't harmful in pregnancy.

[Randomnessembraced]

Dear OP - I have some friends with health anxiety and they feel the same and openly discuss it with me. All I can do is listen and reassure them. One is doing lots of Yoga, including breathing exercises, has cut out all stimulants (eg coffee, alcohol) and is starting to feel better. Take the medication if you can and lots of therapists are offering online zoom sessions. Yogic breathing is really good for the lungs too and may even help strengthen them for Covid 19. Be kind to yourself and take whatever will help you. This is not a time to hold back on medication if you are struggling.

[GabyAby84]

@MitziK I’m not having a flare of my joints.

I don’t think the way I am feeling is related to my Psa.

I will call my rheumatologist to discuss.

I will ask them about being unmedicated and any additional risks with CV.

[MitziK]

PsA inflammation affects your mood, too. It's a known aspect. It was one of the reasons why I was offered the opportunity to switch to Humira.


You don't have to have a swollen knee or painful shoulder for it to be affecting how you feel emotionally. It's a sneaky bastarding disease like that.


If at all possible, at least see if you can have blood tests to check your CRP and ESR. I don't know if they are available right now, but it's worth asking, as if inflammation is causing it, treating that will help.

[thewheelsonthebus23]

This sounds like health anxiety. I’ve had it for years.

[woodpidgeons]

OP I can relate. I've been going through horrible anxiety due to the pandemic. Mine centres on fear for my Family. I already suffered from mild anxiety but nothing on this level. I was extremely unwell, barely eating, barely able to get out of bed (felt like I couldn't and would lie shaking for hours), constant panic attacks, crying. I am still unwell tbh, with fears and low motivation to get things done.
I know you've said you'll take the medication, that's good. I was scared to take it at first because I had never been on antidepressants before. They started helping quite quickly, and although I'm nowhere near better, they have made a huge difference. I haven't cried or had a panic attack since a few days after I started. Feel calmer and thinking clearer. I'm on citalopram too. Been in counselling for years.
Still waiting on my motivation and get up and go to return, but hoping as it's been 3 weeks.

I know how unbearable it feels. Do you have supportive family and friends?? My 'D'P kept telling me to pull myself together and that he wouldn't tolerate me being on medication and wouldn't help out, but my father and sister have been mostly very supportive from afar and I needed that. Do you have anyone??

I can't speak for you obviously, but the bridge thing, it doesn't sound like you want to do anything, it sounds like a reaction to how unbearably difficult the anxiety feels and the uncertainty of the situation. I get that. You want the anxiety to end not you. I actually started hearing like random words and phrases and images coming into my head, like tv catchphrases or random sentences nothing to do with anything. Think it was my brain trying to take over and distract from panic attacks. Doctor wasn't concerned.

Please come back and let us know how you get on. I wish you recovery from this horrible anxiety, you shouldn't have to feel like this.

[emmskie03]

Take the meds.

If you can, see if you can organise some over the phone or zoom counselling. NHS counselling will take some time. Private counselling was one of the best things I have ever done.

Stay off the hysterical mumsnet threads. Thd risk of dying from Coronavirus is low. Yes, there is a risk but there's always been risks. You just haven't thought about them I.e flu.

My husband appears to have recently had and recovered from Coronavirus. Me and the kids were fine. He was unwell and we were concerned about whether I would start to show symptoms as I have a pretty serious underlying risk. I'm fine. In fact hoping that was it!

You'll be ok. The most important thing for you right now is to take action to manage your mental health x

[EducatingArti]

You ARE catastrophising your risk of getting ill. It is not as high a risk as you are thinking right now. The medication will help you to calm down the anxiety and see a less distorted view of the risk but it may take a few weeks to work fully.