Please, Please help me. I don’t know what to do :(

[GabyAby84]

I genuinely feel like I’ve been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I feel sick to my stomach. I’m frightened and I’m struggling to cope.

I’m a 34 year old female.
BMI 32, I have psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis and mild asthma.
I was diagnosed many years ago, and since being diagnosed there have been several periods where I don’t take inhalers at all. I’m currently taking them again due to the ongoing pandemic.

I live with my husband he’s working from home.

We don’t leave the house unless it’s to use click and collect service for our shopping, but we get deliveries where we can.

I feel like I’m doing everything I can to avoid getting the virus but yet from the minute I wake up to the minute I go back to sleep, I’m in complete panic that I’ve caught it.

I literally cannot think of anything else.
I take my temperature several times a day, I’m worried I’ve got a cough or will develop one. Any slight throat tickle, body ache, or even feeling tired all just send me into a frenzy.

Every single day I feel like I have the biggest darkest cloud just looming over me.

I just cannot pick myself up from this.

I have a lovely group of friends and most weeks we have a girls night in. We do this over zoom and all make the effort to get ourselves glammed up, have a glass of wine and chat.

I’m starting to not even enjoy those, the girls all talk about future plans and things they’re excited about doing again, but i struggle to joint in as I don’t see a future for myself. I just feel like it’s a matter of time until my time is up.

I went for a walk a few days ago and as I came to the railway bridge I suddenly thought how easy it would be to jump, to end all of this constant worry and fear.

It frightened me so much as I’ve never ever felt like that before.

I’ve spoken to a Dr and they’ve suggested anti depressants and referred me for some counselling.

But that’s only going to help me come to terms with things. I’ve got to just learn to live like this haven’t I.
But how can I? It feels like complete and utter torture spending my days the way I do.

The days are just too hard. I’m driving myself, and my husband insane with my constant fear, crying and panic.

I know there will be a lot of people who are worried right now, I’m not alone.
But please please someone tell me how you manage?

I don’t see any point to my life right now.
I see no future.

I’ve stopped getting dressed and my days are just spend in my Pjs on the sofa waiting for symptoms to start and preparing to die. :(

Please someone tell me how to get over this, because I honestly don’t think I ever can or will.

[GabyAby84]

My husband is heading to the pharmacy this morning to get the prescription for me.

I just hope they work, I’m so desperate to stop this fear and awful way of living my days :(

[Marsalimay]

What type of support do you normally find helpful? Medication? Reading up on stuff? Exercise? Talking it through?

[Carrie7469]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling like this. The antidepressants may well help you to get a different perspective on things. I mean this in a really gentle way, but your fears at the moment are not realistic and the antidepressants may change your outlook in a positive way. Can you think of anything that would make you feel better at the moment? It's great that you were able to go out for a walk. Are you eating healthily? This can make a massive difference to how you feel. Even if you just try and have a super healthy eating day once a week this can have a positive effect on both your physical and mental health. Best of luck with everything.

[GabyAby84]

I don’t feel like I’ve ever needed support before. I’ve genially never felt so bad :(

I think this is where I’m struggling as I really don’t know what can help me right now.

I feel like this fear isn’t ever going to go aaah and I just have to accept it. :(

[DressingGownofDoom]

Maybe just focus on two things every day - taking your medicine, and getting washed. Everything else will follow

[pinkstar01]

You need to start antidepressants immediately OP. I have been where you are and they calmed down my anxiety so so much. The fear will be minimized to the point you'll be able to rationalize things properly and not overthink. Anxiety messes up the chemica balance in your brain and medication is vital. I too Flouxetine and it was a game changer!

[Inkpaperstars]

You can get through this OP, you won't be stuck like this forever I promise. You don't need to accept this as the way things will be. Your anxiety definitely doesn't reflect your actual risk.

What meds have you been prescribed?

[Marsalimay]

I think this is where I’m struggling as I really don’t know what can help me right now. I feel like this fear isn’t ever going to go aaah and I just have to accept it.

Sorry, I meant in general with other, smaller problems. I'm thinking that there's not much help in people offering, say, podcasts, if you're not someone who wants to listen to podcasts or doesn't find ideas helpful.

[Carrie7469]

I have felt the same in the past when I was seriously ill. One thing that helped me was writing a list of five things that I was going to do the next day. They don't have to be anything massive, it could be having a shower, cleaning your teeth, washing your hair, putting some nice clothes on and

[pinkstar01]

And just rememebr they might not work immediately but please take them regularly. I find that they start to work within a week but the longer I take them the better I feel. Kee at it, just take one day at a time. Also look into taking Ashwaganda. It's a herbal supplement that really helped manage my anxiety once I weaned off the meds.

[SpillTheTeaa]

OP you need some fresh air, even if it's outside in your garden or at your front door.
I have exactly the same fear worrying that any little sign of a sneeze, cough that you might have caught it.
I have to remind myself that there are plenty of other things it can be.
op x

[Marsalimay]

And I agree with @Inkpaperstars, this is not forever. Nothing lasts for ever.

[Itwasntme1]

You have done the right thing talking to the doctor. You are in a dark place at he moment but it will Pass. Your doctor knows how to help, and will have seen his countless times before.

Take the doctors advice, counselling will really help and will give you strategies to help when your thinking gets disordered like this. The medication usually takes a little while to kick in, so talking to someone now while you wait for that will be a huge help.

I know it seems overwhelming now, but this is temporary. You won’t always feel this way I promise.

Take care of yourself and keep talking.

[Fluffycloudland77]

Sometimes you feel temporarily worse on AD, you have to let them do their job though. Give it a month.

Dh has anxiety, it was based on health too.

[ChipotleBlessing]

I think that feeling like it will never improve is a very common symptom of depression. Do take the tablets and give them a chance to work. Do you think you could manage going out for a walk somewhere? Seeing different things, especially if you’re close to nature, might be a bit of a distraction.

[IdblowJonSnow]

OP that sounds so hard. Please try the meds and get counselling. You really won't feel like this forever. It's the depression/anxiety telling you that you will.
Hopefully we'll have a vaccine at some point but please don't put up with feeling like this in the meantime.
Please also bear in mind that despite the horrible news and stats, most people do recover and that there have been cases of people who are 100 years old recovering.
Consider stop watching the news.
Try some online yoga? Will help to calm you. Keep busy with anything that helps to calm you, colouring books or reading or knitting?
You can get through this.

[ppeatfruit]

Carrie said it and you've got plenty of good advice. ALSO look at your coffee, tea and wheat intake !!! Maybe start the day with some fresh fruit and carry on with a big salad and salmon or tuna.

Alcohol may change your feelings for a bit BUT it really doesn't help in the long term. Go for fizzy water with fresh lemon\juices etc.

[Comenext]

OP Get some anti-depressants and give them a try. They take a while to take effect so don't expect to see any change at first. Don't watch the BBC news or any other reports or adverts about CV. Try to listen to nice music or even stories.

[Quarantimespringclean]

I’m so glad you are going to take the anti-depressants. Give them time to work and then start taking the many helpful steps people on here are recommending to brighten your days.

[IndiaMay]

I dont know whether this will help and I'm not sure I'm explaining it right but one of the things I thought of when a friend of mine was in a similar situation was this: imagine if cancer statistics (how many people had been diagnosed that day, how many people had died that day) were reported on like Corona virus is at the moment. Would you obsess over drinking alcohol for fear of liver cancer, shut all the blinds and never see the sun for fear of skin cancer...I know its slightly different but can you see how disproportionate your fear is to the situation. Be safe, be sensible (wear the sunscreen, limit the alcohol) but dont obsess

[Itwasntme1]

Op totally agree cut out the news and social media. Find a griping series and watch it, something that you will enjoy and which will take your full attention.

I was given this advice by my counsellor many years ago. I was experiencing a cute anxiety and mentioned I spent my days crying and watching rubbish Comedy tv. I switched to a few really good crime series, subtitled. It was like giving my mind a rest - I didn’t have space for the obsessive thought while following the plot a reading the subtitles.

Sounds silly now but it really helped.

[Rainbowqueeen]

So pleased to hear your DH is getting the script filled.
Do you have a garden? Can you spend some time in the sun. Vitamin D supplements also really help my DH who suffers from depression.
We are here for you to keep you company and help get you through this. Sending strength.

[thereplycamefromanchorage]

Sorry to hear about your distress, op.

I have had some pretty anxious times lately too (like you, my health anxiety can get a bit out of hand). Great that you're now going to try medication. I used a meditation app which really helped and completely avoided the news. I am also linking here to a podcast about anxiety and coronavirus too, in case this is useful: howtofail.podbean.com/e/how-to-fail-m-gawdat-c19/.

Best of luck - this will pass, you will feel better.

[Beautiful3]

You have psoriasis, psoriatic arthritis and mild asthma. There are people suffering from worse conditions. My neighbour has terminal throat cancer. I think you're suffering from anxiety.

[Lampan]

I was feeling anxious when this all started. Admittedly not as much as you sound to be, but the things that have really helped for me are:

1. having a fairly strict daily routine - set times for breakfast, morning coffee, lunch etc
   
2. 20 min exercise at home first thing - whatever you like. I do HIIT and yoga
   
3. set yourself the goal of doing one ‘chore’ every day - can be something big like ‘clean inside all the windows’ or something small like ‘vac the stairs and landing’. It helps with a sense of purpose and achievement
   
4. I have found a walk before dinner helps break up the day from the evening. In the early days the evening was the hardest time for me so getting out for some exercise helps
   
5. most important for me - avoid watching and reading the news. Concentrate on yourself and your friends and family. A couple of my friends know I’m avoiding the news so they tell me selected bits they know I’ll be OK with, but for me personally I think numbers, graphs and sad stories won’t do me any good at the moment
   
   It’s good that you are going to take the anti-depressants. They should help.