My child has lost it!

[Lockdowner13]

Is it just me or have your kids lost it at this stage of lockdown?

I have a 5 year old (reception year at school) and his behaviour is so bad at the moment. Particularly at bed.

-hitting himself in face when he’s being told off
-generally not listening
-making stupid and dangerous choices eg jumping off back of sofa
-refusing to try food
-lost all motivation in learning
-smashing up Lego sets and throwing toys at us
-refusing to sleep
-really angry but flips from being lovely and happy to being filled with rage
-stamping foot shouting No! When he doesn’t get his way

His dad is not working much at moment so he’s around (it’s hard trying to look after our two other younger kids). I’m upstairs working from home 3 days a week.

He was a little like this just before he started school. As soon as he’s started school he’s happy, gets good reports, enjoys learning. Lots of friends.

I can only think it’s the not seeing others since March that’s done it. Just before lockdown he was sick with chickenpox so we were already isolating.

My other two kids preschoolers are not like this at all. They are happy and enjoying time at home with us. I’ve noticed their talking is coming along really well and they have enjoyed more 1:1 time.

We try to keep on top of learning and reading and have done baking, exercise, art, science, lots of playing games etc. We have a garden with lots of toys. He just isn’t interested.

Anyone else have this?

I have a dc of 5yo who can be like this.

She doesnt have the words or insight to say ' I'm lonley/ scared' etc so it comes out as rage, attention seeking behaviour, meltdowns.

She was like before and just after starting school. Not every child will respond this way but some will.

Their world has been turned upside down, just like ours. As an adult I'm more snappy and irritable than normal.

I'm trying to name what is going on e.g. you look angry, is that because you could work out how the Lego went together etc and trying to get her to recognise different feelings and giving her ideas of what she could do to calm herself. It's hard!

Yes, my 5 year old is very similar. He's an only child, my husband is a key worker at work 6 days a week, so it's just me and my son. Over the last week it's been a roller coaster of emotions. He misses his friends and his Granny and I can't give him any answers he wants to hear. He can be lovely but in a heartbeat that can change into a fit of rage. Refusal to eat, get dressed, go to the toilet (resulting in frequent accidents), go to sleep, get out of bed. He gets 'challenges' from school daily, but he's losing interest.

Like you, we play, bake, read, take walks, etc. It's really hard to know how to motivate him at the moment.

My nearly 7 year old is being vile. She’s just not coping at all. She’s got no motivation to do anything, she’s rude, shouting, crying. It’s absolutely exhausting. With a younger child to look after as well as trying to work from home I just can’t give her the constant attention she seems to need.

Wow I could have written this OP right down to the chicken pox just before lockdown. Dad is also home but focusing on the littler ones while I’m working 18 hours a week from home. This last week five year old has been absolutely awful to the point I can’t control or cope with the behaviour. I’m trying to remind myself that this is such an unnatural situation, no interaction or direction from any other adult or person other than immediate family. I’m hoping things don’t get too much worse before we get them back to school.

My younger one just started kicking off
This week. Really obnoxious.

Hitting himself in the face when being told off is him showing you he is deeply ashamed of his behaviour. He is hurting. I know it’s hard but he needs more love and support. Tell him it’s ok to be sad / angry etc. Give him lots of hugs.

I have three children including a reception boy who’s 5 in June. He’s been fine to be honest but he has had random angry moments the past two days. We have chalked it down to tiredness but, actually, he’s sleeping well, so he’s possibly just getting angry stuck in every day :(

We go out for daily walks but it’s just not enough is it?

My 2 year old is regressing, peeing on the carpets chewing her clothes etc. My nine year old is horrendous, attitude is disgusting and blames it on being bored. My 12 year old is acting like an idiot all the time eg woke up his sister this morning by spraying her in deodorant.

Ive had enough

My son used to be like this. We instigated 1:2:3 magic when he was very young, worked beautifully. He is now a lovely teenager that is cooperative and compliant mainly. Its not easy but recommend it highly

So it's not just me! Reception age DS here. He has regressed back to toddler hood. It's constant tantrums in the day. We are doing school work every morning but I am shocked at how much he has regressed and forgotten (or is it because he has no motivation). Very easy maths that he could do in his head, he now cries and cries and has no idea anymore. He was having such a brilliant time at his excellent school, it wasn't just learning there, it was the practical side of learning and all the workshops he was involved in. I do sense he misses his friends and he also misses his swimming lessons too. Despite lengthy walks and bike rides he just is not mentally tired enough at the end of the day and bedtime is a battle.

I took him for a drive yesterday and he was like an overexcited puppy having not been in the car since lockdown begun.

Your child hasn’t really “ lost it “ he’s just having a hard day.

Thanks all for your helpful comments! I feel less like it’s just me in this situation. But I’m sorry lots of you are having a tough time.

Samt: when I say “lost it” it’s just an expression. It’s not normal for him to behave like this. I’m coming to the conclusion that lockdown is not great for his mental health.

This is a horrendous time for them. They are overwhelmed and anxious, dont fully understand what is going on and don't have the emotional maturity to Express their feelings.

Boys in particular at this age need a lot of physical interaction with their surroundings and their peers. That has been whisked away from them. My ds is in year 1 and it is breaking my heart to see the impact this is having on his mental health and wellbeing.

My 3 year old DS has regressed so much himself he now screams at as like a wild animal while trying to get him dressed or undressed.
Difficult to get to sleep and then wakes earlier hours and comes in bed with us so his sleeping patterns have gone out the window.
My DD 1 year old is copying her big brothers bad behaviour as well. I am just constantly worrying about the long term affects this lockdown is going to have on the both of them

We’re really fucking up our kids here. This isn’t normal or sustainable.

7 year old here and her behaviour is awful, I have to take myself off to cry because it's unbearable.

She's never been easy due to ADHD which she's in the middle of a diagnosis, but she is funny and can be caring and lovely. That aspect has disappeared.

Now we get slamming of doors, telling us no one loves her, refusing to do any school work and just being hard work. The sad thing is she just keeps saying she's lonely and wants to play with her friends. She does understand why she can't which helps.

But I seriously worry about the impact on mental health of kids of all this. I know children are more resilient than we think, but this is so hard for them.

My reception and Yr 2 child are both struggling. I found this video quite good just to remind me their feelings and behaviour is normal:

Some kids cope better if they have quite a rigid structure in their day, so if you can, try something like that and see if it helps.

Also try and explain their day as it unfolds along the lines of now, next, then. Now we're having breakfast, next we'll clear up and wash our hands, then we'll do When you're doing the activity, it's now, we're enjoying doing this, next we'll have a drink with a snack, then we'll do

Currently, a lot of childrens' lives are unfocused and nothing is the same as it was, parents aren't going out to work, all social activities are cancelled, school is cancelled, so their whole world is now one of absolute unpredictability. Try and give them a semblance of structure that they can cling to and see if it helps.

6 year old Ds is struggling. His mood is up and down. On better days he's fine but in the worst days we're getting toddler style temper tantrums more and more frequently, he kicks off at the slightest thing, can't bear losing a board game and screams his head off. It's like having the him of 2 years ago back in many ways. He's up late because I can't tire him out physically enough and even though he's mentally exhausted he won't sleep. He misses his friends and his grandparents desperately and is an only child so the only interaction he gets with other children is by video call or shouting across the street if we come across one if his classmates in our walk. Really concerned about the longterm effects on his mental health and emotional and social development.

Single parent. 8 year old DD with a bug phobia she's acquired since lockdown so won't even go into the garden. Severe anxiety because she's "thinking about spiders" at night. We completed our insect lore project with a jar of caterpillars, right through to releasing the butterflies today (not the first time we've done this). She happily had them on her hands. But woe betide her thinking of anything that flies or crawls once she's supposed to be going to sleep...

We also have the bug phobia, again since lockdown started. My son (5) won't walk to the end of our small garden. We went through a couple of weeks of having to check the bath for spiders before he would go in the bathroom. I've heard my NDN's doing the same in their garden. We also did the Insect Lore butterflies.

I stopped the video calls because I found it was making him more upset. He was starting to get nervous before calls with his friends. After a while he'd settle down, but for several days after he'd be asking when he can play with his friends and it started the cycle again.

We’ve got the flying things phobia too. Think it’s some kind of manifestation of their fear over the outside world now.

Both of mine are now really really suffering. One is getting very angry and violent- the other anxious and tearful. I’m deeply concerned about what we are doing to them as this continues. One was causing such concern that school took her in for a day to reconnect, classing her as vulnerable, the other day. She was a changed little girl at the end of the day.

I don’t care about the hysterical language being thrown about elsewhere - we cannot keep doing this to our children much longer.

I’m so sorry all your kids are suffering so badly. This is really upsetting to read.

I do worry about long term implications on MH and a return to school but just cannot see this being offered.

My own kids are fine but they’re unsociable creatures anyway so I do have it easy for now. But long term....?

Any return to school is not going to see the 'same' kids appearing to take up where they left off. It is concerning.