My child has lost it!

[Lockdowner13]

Is it just me or have your kids lost it at this stage of lockdown?

I have a 5 year old (reception year at school) and his behaviour is so bad at the moment. Particularly at bed.

-hitting himself in face when he’s being told off
-generally not listening
-making stupid and dangerous choices eg jumping off back of sofa
-refusing to try food
-lost all motivation in learning
-smashing up Lego sets and throwing toys at us
-refusing to sleep
-really angry but flips from being lovely and happy to being filled with rage
-stamping foot shouting No! When he doesn’t get his way

His dad is not working much at moment so he’s around (it’s hard trying to look after our two other younger kids). I’m upstairs working from home 3 days a week.

He was a little like this just before he started school. As soon as he’s started school he’s happy, gets good reports, enjoys learning. Lots of friends.

I can only think it’s the not seeing others since March that’s done it. Just before lockdown he was sick with chickenpox so we were already isolating.

My other two kids preschoolers are not like this at all. They are happy and enjoying time at home with us. I’ve noticed their talking is coming along really well and they have enjoyed more 1:1 time.

We try to keep on top of learning and reading and have done baking, exercise, art, science, lots of playing games etc. We have a garden with lots of toys. He just isn’t interested.

Anyone else have this?

Gosh I’m so sorry to hear of all these poor children so fearful:(

I just wanted to recommend a technique called EFT (aka tapping) for adults and children. It’s a really effective way to reduce anxiety and calm you down. I’ve used it on my DC in situations with fears/phobias etc. It’s a very simple method of tapping on different points on the face, hands and chest. You have to learn it (look it up on YouTube) but it’s pretty straightforward and you can either do it on yourself or on others.

It’s well worth a try.

8 and 6 Yr old emotional boys here too. Missing all the sports and social activities but hate zooming friends as they have nothing to say and it makes them miss them more. Home schooling is a struggle.

We have kept to a strict Bedtime routine more recently which has really helped. I have also started doing a quiet bed time back massage with some nice smelling oil which seems to help them relax and we quietly chat and have some calm Music on, seems to have improved their sleep so fingers crossed it will keep working. They are also eating like locusts!

@Beebityboo 💐 that sounds so hard, I’m so sorry. I hope things improve soon.

I am a big believer that we should shield our children from the worlds problems. Their sensitive emotions cannot handle things like for example, global warming, inequality, animal cruelty, illnesses and viruses. Especially children below age 12/13 ish.
Problem is Covid has affected children’s lives directly so it’s hard to balance it.
Children feed off our emotions so it’s so important right now not to act overly fearful even if we feel it. I’m saying this but not saying I’m perfect at it myself. It’s just something I’ve noticed. I’m trying hard to balance out taking sensible precautions and not acting like I’m scared of everything.

My other bit of advice - not that I’m necessarily qualified to give it - is to create a tight routine right now where possible. Kids feel secure and safe in one.

8 and 6 yo here and both are struggling. The eldest is neurodiverse and has completely regressed. Three years of progress is unravelling before my eyes, as am I.

And for those thinking camhs needs to step up to deal with the fallout after this: camhs was on its knees before this with record low levels of funding and massive staff shortages as many of us voted with our feet and left before our own sanity was sacrificed. With a recession and a gold plated rationale for much harsher austerity measures, I really really worry what the future holds for the mental health of our children. And the parents, like me, a supposed mental health professional.

Thank you for the advice. In truth I have massively let myself, but more importantly I've let my DC's and DH down throughout this crisis. The care home I had been working at lost eight of it's residents in a fortnight a few weeks ago and I think I've had a bit of a nervous breakdown/am in a bit of shock and feel hugely guilty for having to leave just before they got ill and died, I really adored them .

I've been sleeping a lot and not forcing 5YO DD to do any work because I can't take the screaming match that will ensue. I spend a lot of time upstairs locked away from them feeling guilty about how I'm letting them all down, occasionally very dark thoughts seep in. I'm not usually this selfish and self absorbed. I know I have to pull myself together because I think DD is becoming a bit unwell and I think it's mainly my fault for not coping better.

Sorry, just needed a vent!

Similar behaviour with a nearly 4 year old and a 5 year old DS. Some days are a dream. Compliant, engaged, play together beautifully. Others, especially in the last week are a mess of defiant, wilful, violent, angry boys. I'm sure they feel trapped and fed up but we can only tolerate such behaviour to a point. 1-2-3 magic is useful, but hard to be so consistent with it as it takes time, which when working full time from home isn't always available. Just keep going, and keep your head

DS is 10 in July. Last night was desperately trying to let a bloody great bluebottle out of his bedroom window, sobbing, because "at least then one of us won't be trapped".
Interesting that lots of kids seem to have acquired a phobia of flying things, DS is the other way, he is working on taming the garden birds. With some success, but even that will make him vulnerable to bullying when they go back, won't it?

Same here! 5yr old DD Reception age. I've been crying and pulling my hair out. Calling my Mum asking what the hell to do. She has taken to bossing me around and not in a cute way!!

Then we get the nicey nicey mood and "Please will you forgive me Mummy?" Then 2 mins later "I'm going to lock you out of this house if you're not nice to me and do as I say!" (ie give her what she's demanding!)

It's soul destroying. No Daddy to help either

9yo DD is really struggling lately. I have two older DC who left home only a few months ago and she misses them desperately now we're unable to visit and have hugs etc. Lots of crying, meltdowns, and quite worried when I take her to the supermarket. I'm trying to keep things light and fun but after 7 weeks she's really not coping and had told me she thinks she has 'issues'. The only issue she has is her freedom and her right to see her siblings, grandparents and friends has been removed. Its her 10th birthday in 3 weeks and she keeps getting so upset that she won't be able to see anyone. It's an awful situation for our children to be in.

Having tough time with my seven year old dd she is on the middle of an asd assessment anyway but that has all been put on hold at the moment 🙄 she has been very teary, fed up, bored and anxious. We are in a flat with no garden but during the sunny weather I tried to set up a camping chair on the front porch bit and went ballistic terrified of bugs, wasps and bees and me getting blown away by the wind ! Interesting to see other posts about their children suddenly being afraid of flying things. The damage this is causing to children's mental health is terrifying.

Twin boys in reception here. Grateful that they are doing ok (they have each other and have grown even closer) but in the last week or so my chatterbox who usually narrates all day has been so much quieter. Both lying around moping a lot between walks despite my efforts at small activities. Could be the heat as well.
Losing interest in schoolwork esp writing in their book.
They have outdoor space thank god but like you say, a walk is getting harder and harder to keep fresh as are any little activities I set up.
I'm not a teacher by a long shot and this is proving that school provides so much in terms of amusement and social interaction that we just can't replicate at home even though we are all trying!