I know IABU but I am totally fed up of lockdown

[detachablehoof]

So. I know I have an awful lot to be thankful for. My family are all in good health, we have no change in our income (yet), my husband is able to work from home, we have a big garden and had plenty of nice weather to enjoy it. There's just us two and our toddler in our house. We're a lot more fortunate than many.

But... I quite honestly don't know how much longer I can stand it. I'm grieving our old life, missing my parents so much, and finding it SO HARD to keep my toddler occupied at home.

I just want to go back to normal 😭 and it doesn't look like there will be a "normal" for a while. It's all just so uncertain and indefinite. It feels like there is nothing to look forward to any more and every day is a chore.

Anyone want to offer some solidarity?

You are not alone. I hate lockdown. I'm not even a social butterfly type, but I hate it, feel trapped and just want some of my choices back.

I want to go and see my elderly parents. They are shielding at the moment though and are a three hour drive away, so it is not happening. They have health issues, so I worry about them.

I need this to end.

I don't doubt that someone will be along to scold us and put us straight, but sod it. Sometimes you do just need an outlet for a good vent.

warrior I WFH

I’m getting to the end of my tether, I’m a single mom with 3 DC (just gone 3, almost 2 and 8 months old). I genuinely feel like I’m going slightly insane

Yep, starting to struggle a little too. The tween yesterday said he is SO BORED of being at home all the time (mostly because his little bro gets on his nerves) but it's grating on all of us.

We're in NSW, Australia, so our lockdown is a little different - shopping isn't such a major problem for us (although we have had problems with supplies and distancing, we haven't had as many problems with queuing for supermarkets where we live) but the social isolation is still painful.

I don't have any useful suggestions - we bought a lot of Lego early on, which helped, but now they mostly watch tv or play on their devices, in between playing in the back yard and bouncing on the trampoline, going for walks (they don't like this) and so on. Our homeschooling is due to start again tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to it - the tween is ok, he's at high school and they've got it covered really well with zoom and other interactive class activities - but the small one, oh gods!

Stay safe, stay well and hopefully this will be over soon.

I think I a lot more people will start feeling like this, now that our period of glorious sunshine is going to be interrupted. Much harder to entertain kids when you can’t spend all day in the garden (I know we’re lucky to have a garden).

Regardless of the tragedy unfolding infront of our eyes i think we are entitled to feel how we feel. My normality has gone, routine has gone, social things gone up in smoke, can't see family. Kids don't want to do their school work and tbh i don't see the point in wasting my time and energy arguing with them about it especially when we don't know what the future holds. I flit between feeling positive and getting bits done to just wanting to stay in bed. If i didn't have my children I'm sure how I'd cope at all, they are my only reason to get up each day. Feeling really down about it all and wondering what sort of life we will ever go back too.

Really fed up. Finding it impossible to do anything with DS who has severe autism and learning disabilities whilst looking after 6 month old baby who only naps on me. We are also mid extension which stopped as the builders can't get supplies. No idea when/if it will ever be finished.

Try to hold onto the good things,

You have a garden, family are healthy and you have mumsnet to complain about how fucking unfair it is at the moment.

Because no matter where you are at the moment, life is pretty shit.

For the first time yesterday (Monday), I actually felt really angry about all of this. Up to then I was pissed off, but not feeling as bad as yesterday, I was feeling wall punchingly angry after seeing our illustrious leader bowl out of the front door of No 10 to deliver his "Churchill moment".

Yes I know he has had this virus and what I thought/am thinking is probably more than unreasonable, but I just wanted to stand in front of him and tell him to get fucked, as he isn't thinking, the longer this goes on, the more chance I have of losing my job (well he might come the next election), then struggle to keep a roof over our heads and feel like I have let my wife and boys down. It's a fair amount of pressure to deal with on top of a pretty bad illness where I am meant to be shielding.

I'm not a violent person, but at that moment, I could have quite easily smacked him one in the mouth.

God knows I know people are in a far worse position than me, so I know I am being more than unreasonable and moved right into the territory of being a complete twat.

Same here. I'm WFH full time and really grateful to have a job, but I am SO busy, working way longer hours than usual and it just feels absolutely relentless with no commute / work colleagues / change of scenery / nights out to break it up. Just get up, start work, work all day, stop work, do some housework, watch tv / read, go to sleep, get up. Our business is furloughing some people and there are messages coming about tough times financially etc so I feel like I'm constantly having to go above and beyond to prove how useful I am so I keep my job if the shit hits the fan. It's all on me right now as DH is s/e and has no work at all so I am covering all our outgoings on my salary and some savings, and finances are worrying me if this goes on much longer. I'm feeling quite burned out this week and dreading switching my PC on, I just can't seem to get on top of things and my brain is melted by the end of the day.

We live in a built up area, no nice walks or scenery from the doorstep (in Wales and they have been very clear no driving for exercise/dog walks). I don't think l've been more than a mile from home for about 6 weeks, as we'd started to restrict ourselves a bit before lockdown. I miss nature and am so envious of those with access to beaches, mountains, big open spaces.

I'm struggling mentally without the peace and quiet of being home alone, ever.

I have so much to be grateful for and I know there are so so many people in much much worse situations but yes, I am fed up.

I’m the opposite, I think there will be some easing of restrictions soon and we might be coming to the end of this as Boris said, so I’ve went from “I need this to be over” to “I might be able to go out in a couple of weeks, not long now”

I want to have my freedom back to have something to look forward to, to see my friends again, to go to the pub or garden centre, even to have my hair done, just to be have things in the diary to look forward to. So I’m clinging onto I might be able to do some of that soon,..

If I think it might not ease a bit I feel a sort of panic, so I’m clinging onto hope.

It's grief isn't it.

The government are very much sending warning shots that a new normal is coming and it won't be anything like the pre lockdown life and our brains are struggling to come to terms with it.

It's shit and every one has a right to be miserable. But we will create a new life and things will get better. Different, but better than now.

I feel you. Two toddlers under 3 here. My life is currently one tantrum after another. My house is a mess. They are not sleeping and don't understand why they can't go to their nan's or park so keep crying. We are dragging them for a walk everyday but I miss when we could rock up a toddler group and see other humans. We are watching a lot of cbeebies! Don't be afraid to watch more than normal.

@averytiredmom how are you managing with three? I'm struggling with two. I hope you're okay. Do you have a good support network?

Totally agree with all this. I have two small DC, my mum died a couple of weeks ago and I am finding it all SO hard. Fucking relentless.

Yeh - also feel the same although would never admit it out loud because should be really counting our blessings ...!

Me too. I am so bloody tired and so fed up.

DH is still working and I feel really lonely with just me and my toddler all day. Not to mention the shit show which is me trying to get some actual work done.

I am utterly fed up. I can’t see how this can continue much longer. The country will be on its knees.

It's funny so many seem to have finally cracked yesterday, me included. I've been ok mostly with lockdown (although our business is now in tatters and we only have the gov grant to live on) and I'm naturally an optimist, but a trip to Tesco yesterday evening and how strange and depressing it was, added to the realisation that this is life for the foreseeable made me tear-up. I felt like I was dreaming.

I ache to see and hug my very stressed pregnant daughter. I want to see my poorly elderly mother and my sister. I want to go back to work and earn some money!

I am lucky in many ways, and I appreciate that, but we're all allowed an occasional self-indulgent wobble.

I'm the same was doing pretty well,until I got an email that a job I had applied for and was really interested in was no longer recruiting and I just felt this has robbed me of this chance,this was compounded by the fact that I went on uni website where dd is due to be going and its saying they are preparing to do online courses for first term. Ds is also supposed to be doing music at college ,not really an online course.So is this it ? The 3 of us stuck till 2021! Just had enough.

Yes I sort of lost it a bit yesterday too. I’m 18 weeks pregnant (very planned, have had 4 previous miscarriages), as well as 2 young children. I went out for the first time yesterday to the pharmacy (hadn’t been out since mid March). It was horrible. Car parks empty, there’s a ticketing system at the shop, so you can’t get out of your car until your number is on a big screen (excellent idea of course), literally no social interaction with anyone. The staff in the pharmacy all wearing gloves, aprons and visors. And all behind Perspex screens.

It all felt so alien. Everyone felt like they were suspicious of everyone else.

I realised that even when lockdown stops, things will be really strange.

The thought of this rumbling on for months and months and months is just overwhelming.

Feel awful - single mum to three , trying to wfh full time , am away from everyone inc my partner

Worried I am getting very low now ,had been quite motivated exercising but can’t be bothered now

Yes, I’m totally done with it, emotionally drained and my mental health is the worse it’s ever been.

I’m just hoping that there will be some sort of change soon where you can just visit some people... just one even!

I’m very introverted so I don’t miss pubs/clubs, restaurants etc as I never did that kind of thing but I’m missing just being able to go for quiet days out with the children. Going to a wildlife park, taking my son fishing, popping for a quiet coffee. I miss visiting my dad, and he’s really struggling with this which makes it worse as I can’t do anything to help him. I really miss my work.
I’m feeling totally trapped at the moment. Our daily long walks are helping though, a change of scenery is proving to be essential to bringing a little bit of calm.

Yes I am a bit fed up with it but am a following rules type person.
We're in a good situation so I have no reason to moan. I guess as humans we're never quite satisfied. That's how I'm feeling anyway. I should be more thankful rather than feeling bad about it.

I was lying in bed last night and thought I might cry at the sudden certainty that "normal" would never return and how sad it made me for DS. He is 17 and I should be on here worrying about him not working hard enough for his A Levels, and going out too much, and help what university open days should he be going to this term?

And it just breaks my heart that instead he's stuck in the house, week after week after week after week. And he doesn't really complain, and he's getting on with his work, but every day he's just a little bit more sad.

And then I come on to MN and there's the fucking lockdown dementors wailing about how SELFISH we are for opening a window and people might DIE and how DARE we want our kids to go back to school and buy a bottle of wine with our shop because people might DIE and if we weren't so SELFISH we'd be happy for lockdown to last FOREVER.

And a little bit more of me crumbles inside.

So thank you for this thread. Because I want to be allowed to be sad for what we've lost and what has changed, and I want to be able to want to go out the house again. And I know I'm lucky: DH and I have our jobs still, the family is healthy, we're financially OK, we have a detached house and a garden. And I am still sad, and grieving for what we've not had this year, and that's allowed.

I'm bored of cooking and thinking what to cook for a family of 5.
We are very lucky, both working, and I'm spending time with the children which I didn't really have time to do before. But I keep crying which I never do. I need to get out and about and see friends, I want my annual girlie holiday which won't be going ahead anymore.
I just want it all to be over x