I know IABU but I am totally fed up of lockdown

[detachablehoof]

So. I know I have an awful lot to be thankful for. My family are all in good health, we have no change in our income (yet), my husband is able to work from home, we have a big garden and had plenty of nice weather to enjoy it. There's just us two and our toddler in our house. We're a lot more fortunate than many.

But... I quite honestly don't know how much longer I can stand it. I'm grieving our old life, missing my parents so much, and finding it SO HARD to keep my toddler occupied at home.

I just want to go back to normal 😭 and it doesn't look like there will be a "normal" for a while. It's all just so uncertain and indefinite. It feels like there is nothing to look forward to any more and every day is a chore.

Anyone want to offer some solidarity?

[gingysmummy]

Me!!! Was meant to be going in our 1st holiday abroad as a family. My son got offered a shitty nursery that he won't be going to . I'm working full time nights as a nurse i usually do 24 hours but I'm doing 50+. My dh is still working so trying to sleep whilst looking after my kids the youngest being 2.
Oh and my car is unusable as it needs new tyres and brakes. I live rurally so need car to drop my dads shopping of as he's high risk.

[IrisAtwood]

I feel the same. My partner is working from home, enough money, a garden, secure wifi, lots of hobbies.

I have been increasingly feeling that I can’t stand another minute. It’s as if I could explode at any minute and run out of the house stark naked and screaming!

It doesn’t help that I have a serious and deteriorating heart condition and my surgery has been delayed because of the pandemic.

Even when the lockdown starts to end I have several months of recovery from open heart surgery to ‘look forward to.’ Plus the delay means that I can’t work until I have recovered from the surgery. 😭

[AppleKatie]

I was lying in bed last night and thought I might cry at the sudden certainty that "normal" would never return and how sad it made me for DS

Mine isn’t 17 but yes I had these tears late last night too. It hit me like a wall that this isn’t anywhere near as ‘temporary’ as I’ve been imagining. Life as we know it has changed for a very long time.

[Looneylockdown]

I'm trapped in lockdown with a husband I was about to separate from before all this happened; we have two children aged 7 and 4. He is not abusive but has been unsupportive for years - emotionally, practically and financially. I want him to move out but I'd end up paying for that so am constantly weighing up my options. Every day feels like a week in lockdown. Thank God I'm working or I would have gone totally insane by now.

[Seventyone72seventy3]

Fed up here too! I don't have a garden and we have been off school since 24th February! We do also have a proper lockdown, none of this going out for a bit of exercise stuff. so the kids have been almost entirely indoors, with a few trips to put the bins out. It stinks.

[Magicbabywaves]

It’s just gone on so long now, I was thinking how I’d been planning to break up the summer holidays with trips and activity club, then bam! We’ve been at home for nearly six weeks with nothing to break up the monotony.

I felt disheartened this week, I’ve been clinging onto the hope the children will go back to school (and the toddler to nursery), I’ve accepted my 40th birthday trip abroad with my husband isn’t happening, the gigs and meals out we planned to celebrate aren’t happening, the course I was hoping to sign up for is on hold and that’s been ok, but it feels like what is there to look forward to? I’m not as fed up as some of my friends; I’m a stay at home parent anyway, but it does feel like my life which has been small for the past few years due to small children is now even smaller.

[frasersmummy]

I hit a wall yesterday. I work for a uni and I had hoped we would reopen over the summer but now they are saying on line courses till Jan 2021
And ds 15 not getting back to school till Sept and talk of only part time. He is supposed to be doing nat 5 exams next year (scotland)

Here in Scotland the virus is much more under control and we are over the peak.

So I was crying with frustration that here we are over the peak in April but life is on hold for another 6 months!!!

[Kmxxx14]

Yes I’m waking up sad every day at the moment.

I have a 8 & 3 year old and zero help 90% of the time as My partner is working all hours of the day yet on 20% reduced pay until at least December.

I have no motivation, I want to curl up in bed and stay there all day but I can’t because of the kids. They need entertaining and educating and stimulation but I’m currently absolutely miserable and the thought of it makes me feel sick.

[cushioncovers]

Yep I hear you op. I'm still working (Nhs) but my two older dc are not coping that well. One of them is furloughed and he has lost any motivation to even get out of bed some days and when he does he has been sneaking off to smoke weed with a mate who's also furloughed and bored. I'm at work full time so can't keep an eye on him.I'm a single parent with no support as anyone who could help is in self isolation, I'm worried sick. I'm hoping things can return to some sort of normality soon.

[Kmxxx14]

Oh and we were supposed to be getting married a week on Friday. Planned for years. And now I’ve eaten so much crap to give myself a tiny bit of happiness and now I’ve gained weight which I worked so hard to lost for the wedding. Feel so crap.

[Siameasy]

I feel weary of trying to “homeschool”. I miss silence as there is no alone time. We’ve been on 2hr walks which I’m sure will upset some people. That’s the only joyful thing at the moment.

[Biscuit0110]

I cracked yesterday. I was doing well until then, feeling upbeat, music on every day and getting on with it. I was ready to look for the silver linings and 'make the most' of the time even if it is not ideal.

I am on paper one of the lucky ones with a job still and a garden, but god help me I don't think I can do another week of this (week seven). I have two teenagers, to be fair they are coping with it reasonably well, but I just can not carry on. That is how I felt yesterday. Not one more day can I cook, clean, plead with them to get out of their dark cave and emerge into day light, not one more day can I look at these four bloody walls. Nothing absolutely nothing I tried to do would help ease the feeling being trapped and suffocated.

I can't listen to another friend who cheerfully tells me we will be like this to the autumn, nor the thought police that tell me I should be grateful for feeling so utterly shit because I am not dying in an ICU somewhere.
I know there is so much suffering out there, but that only makes me feel worse, I feel so sad for the families that are losing loved ones, and those that are sick and dying. It is like an endless nightmare, and I just want to wake up now, get up and live out a day of my normal life.

It is not like I even did anything especially interesting, I feel I have absolutely nothing to feel happy or look forward to thats the problem. This lockdown, or versions of this lockdown feel endless.

I had to laugh about the pp saying they felt envious of open green spaces, I live in a place of open green space and I am utterly sick of it. The lack of people, the lack of life, I would dearly love to live in a place where I can hear human activity. I would love to see a passing human being for a conversation about anything. Being in the countryside might sound idyllic but it is isolating in every sense of the word. I guess we get fed up wherever we are!

I hope we all feel better soon, and that Boris will at least offer some hope in his next speech, if he had any idea how low the national mood is right now he might even think about sharing some kind of plan with the country (even without dates) to give us all something to live for.

[FauxFox]

I am very lucky and feel guilty for feeling sad as so many others must be struggling so much more with lack of space and job worries but yesterday I was on the verge of tears all day I have decided to do all I can to snap out of it today because it isn’t helpful for DH and the DCs and so unlike me to be so fragile - am going to start the day with an exercise dvd and a lovely shower and wear makeup and some decent clothes... we can do this people... sending unmumsnetty hugs xx

[EricaNernie]

We have relocated but they are not sure where to put me so i am in a different location, they are unhappy, i am unhappy

[EricaNernie]

my family have been active outdoors but this coming week of rain will NOT help

[middleager]

I'm struggling.

Last week my sons and husband all had birthdays. My one son should have been sitting some exams last week too.

We are both working harder than ever at home and I'm really stressed.

The children (14) have so much school work, replicating whole school days, and spend hours on screens.

My husband who earns an average UK wage and less than me (this is relevant as we all seem to tiptoe around him and my job, which is fairly responsible with out of hours calls, is the one that's expected to be dropped in standards to organise 'life' chores, yet mine is also more secure) prioritises work. He is a workaholic and sending 10 hours working a day.

I still have to sort dinner, shopping, kids in between my work. His work is far more important of course!

Worse, he is emotionally detatched. Not once have we had an indepth conversation about the virus, how we are feeling, the kids or what will happen. Because we never talk about anything real, even before this. I can have discissions with friends, family and on here, but IRL there's nobody to talk to.

I miss my parents too.

Sorry, tough morning.

[Tamtam86]

Oh I feel all of this too, I'm just so fed up. I was doing ok but the last few days it has really got to me. I have a 4 month old baby and an almost 2 year old and it's just so relentless and exhausting. I just want her to be able to play with other children, it's breaking my heart that we just don't know when she will be able to do that again, and I'm finding it so hard to keep up with everything she needs and also look after the baby. I miss normal life so so much

[WhyCantIThinkOfAGoodOne]

I think the new normal when it comes will encompass all the important bits of your old life. You might not be having a huge party any time soon but you'll probably get to have your parents round. See your friends, take your toddler to the play park, all in the not too distant future.

[Biscuit0110]

Also it feels more difficult, because the virus is under control more or less everywhere in the UK now, even in London, hospitals are entirely empty in some areas (like ours) We only have a few hundred cases in our area, and even in major cities it is completely under control.
The peak is over, and most of the criteria set by SAGE have now been met with the exception of the risk of the second wave.
I am no expert (at all) but even I know we can not possibly meet the target of eliminating the second wave, without a vaccine, so does that mean we go on forever like this in some vague hope of a quick vaccine?

The criteria to ease the lockdown is unachievable in my view because of the risk of the second peak, and that makes me feel seriously sad.

[PineappleDanish]

You are not alone. I hate lockdown. I'm not even a social butterfly type, but I hate it, feel trapped and just want some of my choices back.

That's it, it's the lack of choices. We have no choices any more. Weekdays, weekends, all the same. Your choices are either stay at home, or go for a walk in the same place you always do.That's it. Nothing else on the table. It's boring as fuck.

And @PheasantPlucker1 it's not all your fault. It's all MY fault. I had exactly the same rant at teenage DD yesterday except my rant ended with "phone Nicola Sturgeon if you don;t like it then!"

[Sheeeeesh]

Same here. I seem to have lost any motivation to get the house cleaned and tidied, two minutes later it looks like crap again.
Mostly I feel sad for my 2 DS, the 16 yr old in particular as he was just blossoming socially and gaining some independence (has issues with anxiety) and now that's all come to a standstill. Not a huge problem compared with some but I just feel sad for him.

[EricaNernie]

And we had less recorded deaths yesterday, but it is still shocking, the amount dying. We mustnt forget that.

[MrsJBaptiste]

I haven't lost it yet but I'm sure this is because the weather has been so lovely and we're lucky to have a garden where I can sit and read all day long. I really feel for those of you with small children, my sister has 3 very boisterous boys under 5 and she's knackered.

I get through this by thinking that it's just one shit summer of doing nothing and I'll be fine. But I feel so sad for my children (two boys, 13 and 16) who should be out with friends and revising like mad for GCSEs. Their days are spent doing some schoolwork, a bike ride, then on their phones. The thought of this for weeks on end is so worrying.

Oh, and DH and I were in couples counselling which had to stop so this lockdown could go either way. I'm shielding so haven't seen anyone else other than my DH and the boys for nearly 6 weeks.

However we're all in the same boat which makes it slightly easier to stomach.

[randomsabreuse]

Me. I have a 4 year old and 18 mo and DH is working, mostly from home.

I want some time alone, I want some time with no one else in the house so I can sort stuff out enough to make my life easier when they are all around. I want to go and run alone in a crowd at a parkrun/race.

I also want some time with DC2 who is getting very basic attention while DC1 gets lots purely because she can't be left in a playpen but he can.

Loads of people have it worst. I am sure that there's plenty of people feeling lonely but all I want is to be alone for a day or so to get organised, read a bit and do some craft.

[YogaPantsSavedMyLife]

It is really frustrating. I'm ticking along ok generally, but I really feel for ds who is in year 12 and struggling to stay motivated with college work, missing his girlfriend and his mates and his football etc. This year was meant to be a biggie for him - lots of trips away which have now been cancelled, his first festival, driving lessons etc. All now put on hold.

I just have to hold on to the fact that this won't be forever. It will be our life, more or less, for a good while, but not forever. We will be able to sit in a pub with our friends, or have a party, or mooch around the shops, or go out to dinner or the theatre or whatever again, and we will be able to look at each other and say 'remember corona?'

DS will go to a festival, and to university, and will go back to ignoring my 'are you home for dinner?' texts

DP and I will have our postponed wedding and lovely Italian honeymoon.

It's shit, but it will be history one day. to all who are struggling.