I know IABU but I am totally fed up of lockdown

[detachablehoof]

So. I know I have an awful lot to be thankful for. My family are all in good health, we have no change in our income (yet), my husband is able to work from home, we have a big garden and had plenty of nice weather to enjoy it. There's just us two and our toddler in our house. We're a lot more fortunate than many.

But... I quite honestly don't know how much longer I can stand it. I'm grieving our old life, missing my parents so much, and finding it SO HARD to keep my toddler occupied at home.

I just want to go back to normal 😭 and it doesn't look like there will be a "normal" for a while. It's all just so uncertain and indefinite. It feels like there is nothing to look forward to any more and every day is a chore.

Anyone want to offer some solidarity?

Exactly the same. WFH and have a toddler. Very, very relieved to still be able to work, but so fed up of being stuck in the house 24/7 apart from going to get food etc. Getting snappy and irritable all the time and hate myself for it. I don’t think I can cope with another 3 weeks of this after 7th May. Feels like the government isn’t taking into account the impact on young families and children in all of the this. They need to at least let up on some of the restrictions, even if it’s just letting people see close family/friends and spend days out in open spaces like parks. And prepare to open the schools and nurseries, even if it’s just to give a return date. Sick of them saying science will dictate everything as though they have no control over anything - what happens if the number of cases just doesn’t stay down, are they going to keep us in lockdown for the next 12 months and let everyone lose their jobs/businesses until there are no taxes to pay for the NHS/schools/all other public services in the future?

Do you think you know better than the scientists?

There's more than one scientific view, and these need to balanced against other competing interests e.g. economy, freedom and so on.

Obviously.

Given that the OP has put in the title “IABU” I don’t know why people are weighing in with “ODFOD” and “let me gently reframe your thinking”

She’s already compliant with you, so you can stand down!

Thank you op! I’m glad someone has made a thread about hating lock down, I was getting sick of all the “loving lockdown” threads. I am a single mum to 4, ages 9 and under, 9 year old has asd and refuses to go out at all, even in the garden. Which means the rest of us can’t go out, she doesn’t even like me opening the garden door. I’m stuck at home all day every day. I can’t home school her as she screams if I ask her any questions, I think I will cry my eyes out if I hear school won’t be back till September and maybe those who think people don’t want to be around their kids should realise we don’t all have help, I will have them all 6 weeks of the holiday as well as I have no help, none at all. So school is the only respite I get. Also all 4 of their birthdays have fallen in the lock down so it’s just been miserable, Yes I hate it!! And I hate that there is no end, the not knowing is really hard.

Hating every single second. All my mental health symptoms have flared back up, constantly checking the door is locked, not sleeping, not eating, getting paranoid and can't stand noise. Not helpful when your kids are 22 months and 5 and don't have a quiet button.

I loathe the "learn a new skill" crowd. I'm trying. I'm learning two languages, I'm quilting, I'm cleaning and I still feel bloody suicidal. They make me want to stick lots of pins in them.

And don't get me started on the "resilient" lot. I got through a really shitty childhood, being raped and then having psychosis after dc1 was born. This is literally my worst nightmare and I'd happily swap with them. See whether they are so keen on the word after a few nights of what goes on my head.

@IndiaMay

Thank you for your reassuring word re the supermarket and logically I know you're right, but I'm 71 and have (controlled) high blood pressure so statistically I'm probably more like to die than a younger, healthier person.

In truth I'm not creeping around in fear, just feeling rather wary, but the whole situation is just so miserable.

I just want to be able to do something as simple as get in my car, drive to my DD's house 20 miles away and go and have a wander round the shops with her; I also really want to be able to give her a hug.

I think for some people who have not personally lost a loved one/friend to this virus the lockdown seems overly harsh and very long.

I'm pretty sure those people who have had losses/work in hospitals/care homes/morgues would happily see the lockdown continue longer so that more people are protected, NHS can handle the situation, less key workers having to face the danger that most of us do not, etc.

I lost my son to cancer some years back. But during his treatment we spent 6 months in hospital in a room with the window sealed shut and facing a brick wall. We were in isolation for lots of that time, unable to leave the room. We did it though to give him the best chance against his disease. Now in this lockdown I can open my windows, sit in the garden when not working, exercise and shop. For me personally this bit is easy. Trying to keep my other son safe and not lose him to this virus when lockdown is eased is my personal struggle. When life resumes some sense of normality then he goes out and faces more risks. He's 22 and I feel sad that he is not living life to the full that he should be. He's at his dads and I miss him.

I'm still pissed off with it all at times though.

I have my dad in a Care home. If he somehow comes out of this alive I know he won't know who I am and that is sad.

It's ok to be sad, angry, fearful. We've all lost something during this crisis, whether it be a person, job, business, home, or just the normality of life's routine. None of us know how long this will go on and the uncertainty is unsettling (to say the least). We don't know how our lives will be when restrictions start to lift.

But restrictions will lift and we will resume some semblance of normality. It may just take longer than we want it to.

I'm sorry for all those struggling - in whatever way. The only words I can think of is that we are in this together, every person/family has been affected in some way. Let's hope we are out the other side soon with as few casualties as possible.

justanother

The weather is crap but I still roll my eyes at these threads. The original post just smacked of ‘my diamond shoes are too tight’.

Good at reading the room, are you?

Me too! I'm so over it. All the things I found fun at the start I'm so bored of. I'm over baking, painting and other domestic things I thought I'd enjoy. I want to be hungover on a Saturday morning after a messy Friday night out with friends. Lockdown me is really boring. I even miss going into the office. And my friends, I really miss my friends. I've loved having more time with my family (which in all honesty has surprised me) and I'm sure I'll moan about how much I miss extra time with them too once this is done.

I know a few people who are struggling this last week. I will, however, stick by the rules until told otherwise.

minmooch

As somebody who has lost someone to C-19 I want the lockdown eased so that i can grieve with the rest of my family properly instead of having to do everything over the internet. Facetime, zoom and the like are a poor substitute for a hug and and and cry with a lonely bereaved parent.

The OP was commenting about how she personally felt about not being able to live her life at the moment. I think most can empathise with that.
Whilst some things are objectively more important, as people on here so enjoy pointing out, that ' artisan coffee' may be someone else's mental health lifeline, and thus may be 'equally, if not more important to an individual.
Try not to judge until you have walked in someone elses shoes.

@trappedsincesundaymorn I am sorry you have lost a loved one and are unable to grieve with your family. I think this is one of the saddest aspects of this whole crisis - either not being able to be there at the end of a loved ones life or being able to grieve together after. I'm so sorry.

I feel you, i lost my mother in mid March, havent seen my PG DD1 since the end of February, DD2 & DS are doing the best they can, DH is a key worker so not around much. DD2 & I are both due to start college in August, not seeing that happen, DS misses his friends & his sport very very much.
It is ok to be angry/pissed off , just remember you are not alone x

Pasghetti I completely disagree with your post, I have been literally amazed at just how resilient and cheerful most of the UK have been. I am not sure where you are from, but here in the UK it has been incredible to watch the so called snowflakes stand up to this without complaint. It has been heartening to watch communities pull together in times of need. I happen to think we are every bit as strong and spirited as the generations before us, it has taken this crisis to really see this in our national character. We haven't seen carers abandon care homes like they did in Spain, or dying elderly because they were unable to get food, we haven't seen corridors of dying patients on the floor (New York, Spain, Italy, China to name a few) However that does not mean to say we need to feel happy about it!! It does not mean it is easy for anyone. It is so hard. I am shocked at how hard it has been. This thread is really about us sharing the difficulty and letting others know they are not alone in the battle. You my friend, may not find lockdown an endurance, I am happy for you, but those that are continuing to do their best under massive strain should at least be responded to with empathy and compassion. This is the biggest crisis of our life time. It is shit. No need to dress it up.

I would think it odd to NOT be feeling this way OP.

Human contact is the single most important aspect to a feeling of well-being. The ultimate punishment of solitary confinement was not chosen by accident. Yes, most of us have a small contingent of loved ones with us, many don't. I am so pleased my DD came home from London, she was in a shared flat, but the rest all went home too, and I cannot imagine what life would have like for her if she had been totally alone.

Elderly relatives in care homes have had enough too. Despite being one of the reasons for lockdown measures, they are totally and utterly fed up with the whole thing, and would rather live life normally and take a chance on dying (they actually don't care), than be removed from what little pleasures remained in their lives.

I hate it. I know I am lucky that I don't find it hard on a purely personal level - I am an introvert with no money problems and good health, so better off than so many others - but I am so depressed by the effect on DC, and by the effects I can see going forward for others in terms of physical, mental and financial health, inequality, social cohesion etc. It's just horrible and I'm sick of it.

No not unreasonable at all, our lives have been changed beyond recognition. We can't even see family to help us through this tough time. The government had better start laying out some kind of plan ASAP, we all need some hope and a timeline of some sort. At the end of the day this isn't sustainable for much longer, life is short enough as it is.

Yes I agree that it has been difficult but there are degrees of difficulty. Sometimes remembering how blessed we actually are compared to others can help us give our heads a wobble, be grateful for what we have and get through another day. It's a good mental discipline to practise being grateful for what we have rather than focusing on the things we are missing. It's proven to benefit our mental health and that's going to be important in the months ahead. We are all going to have to find ways to protect our mental health - this is a marathon not a sprint. Might as well start now I guess. Get into good mental habits just as we are getting into good physical habits like handwashing and social distancing.

Yep, really sick of it now. I have a 11mo and it's hard work keeping him entertained. His dad is WFH so I get a bit more help than usual but I misss my friends and family and EVERY DAY IS THE SAME.

I don't have time to do any learn a skill type things with the baby either! Definitely aware I have it lucky but the sense of dread I have for our future is colouring everything at the moment.

Pasghetti - maybe you'd like to start your own thread to talk about the way in which you'd like everyone to perceive lockdown? And let those of us who would like to discuss our feelings with other like-minded posters do so without having to endure your sanctimony?

It's perfectly clear what the purpose of this thread is, so I'm not quite clear what you think you are contributing to it that's of value. If you genuinely gave a shit about other people, you'd recognise that in this one little corner of MN, we're getting what we need to make us feel better. What we don't need, and haven't asked for, is to be preached to by someone so keen to tell us how what we're feeling is wrong and what we need to do to correct ourselves.

I'm sure you'll find lots of posters elsewhere who are dying to be told how to get into good mental habits, but they're not here.

Has pasghetti recommended yoga yet?

I'm sure it's coming. With meditation, perhaps, and mindfulness.

Pasghetti "I think what a lot of these threads are showing recently is just how much resilience we have lost at an individual level"

I agree. I had no idea the public were so soft that they would hide indoors from a virus that kills a tiny percentage of the population. It's utterly pathetic.

some posters who want food delivered by the army in total lockdown are really an embarrassment.

in fact pasghetti you are the embodiment of the vanishing of a fighting spirit. "Stay home, control your mind to accept what they tell you".

I agree, "mindfulness" cannot be far behind.

Can't even be arsed to read posts from likes of Pasghetti ..first couple of lines ...😴 ..yep we know that..moving on...

It's feckin tedious. Grateful for being healthy enough here and trying not to murder each other. I'm okay if the sun is shining as at least my NT kids can get out in the garden and have fun. Harder for me as our other DC has severe learning difficulties so whilst they can go out, they need constant supervision to keep them out of danger which means zero lovely garden relaxation for me. Rain = no choice but to stay in and at least knowing everyone is in the same crappy boat 😥

Went out for the first time in 5 weeks last week to give DH a break from doing the shopping and I obviously made some sort of error and got a roasting off a supermarket employee. Yep, I cried in the store and in the car. It's all just shit.