To think people will have to stop using grandparents for childcare

[Emmagainno3]

First of us I know this would be extremely difficult for some people, in particular single parents. But I can’t understand with all the talk about how dangerous it would be for kids to go back to school and passing it between each other, it also isn’t mentioned about how dangerous it would be to get children minded by older relatives.
The fact is covid affects older people more frequently and more severely than younger people. Surely there’s way more of a risk in getting grandparents to mind young children than for children to pass on covid between each other and to go back to their own immediate family.
( I’m aware some children are more vulnerable health wise etc but I’m talking majority of cases here) .
I’ve just heard of friends talking about going back to work but not wanting the schools to open but they would also be using grandparents for childcare. It just seems way more dangerous to me. Me and my dh have never had even 10 mins of childcare help from any of our families and of course it had affected our jobs and earning potential as we have to pay for all our childcare. Covid has had a huge impact on us financially. I just can’t understand the logic of keeping schools closed or having extreme measures put in and then having granny/granddad at the door collecting again.

My parents are in their 50s and far healthier/more active than me!

Even if they were over 70, I know they would risk the virus if I said they wouldnt be allowed to see their granddaughters.

Your talking about the current situation it's not always going to be like this . Italy is relaxing next week so that you can see relatives so we are probably a couple of weeks behind .
You talk like this is how things will be forever and it simply won't .

The way to solve this is just by letting each family make their own (hopefully informed!) decisions and live with the consequences.

My mum is in her 60's and prior to lock down had my DD for 3 half days a week. Entirely her choice, we have always said we can afford to put her in nursery for more hours if she didn't want to do it. DM loves DD and is really struggling with not being able to see her (despite video calls every day).

Once lockdown is lifted I will be letting her make her own choice about what she wants, but I very much doubt that she would choose to stay away from DD if lockdown is not in place.

Having said that, I'm considering not sending DD back to nursery till September at the earliest anyway as I'm due a baby in July.

And no I definitely don’t understand how it’s less risky for older people ( I’m not talking about younger grandparents obviously) to be around their grandchildren than for kids to be in school together.
The former seems like a bigger risk to me. Anyway each to their own , one of my parents is high risk and not that old so can’t see any visits soon tbh as once kids are back with friends again it would just be too worrying to think we could infect them. Anything I’ve read said children are often asymptotic and as said above schools are breeding grounds so can’t see how we could go ahead and risk it but again they have an underlying health condition.
Will just try and keep away from grandparents at the school gates in the future but think it’ll all be a very tricky balance. Good luck to everyone in the future!

And yes can’t for normality and hope it will return soon

A lot of the grandparents will be in their 50s surely so not particularly high risk. Hopefully no one will ask elderly grandparents to look after children.

It isn't just about not catching cv though is it? It's about reducing the strain on the NHS and yes, it is not stretched at the moment but isn't that because we are distancing?

Taking emotions out of the situation (and we have to - one person is no more or less important than another), the fact is that allowing two households to mix will increase the risk of catching cv, putting strain on the NHS. Some might think this selfish. Others might think 'Oh, just let 'em see each other'. Whatever people decide to do could very well have an effect on society as a whole, be it good or bad.

This worries me.
I'm a full time student/lone parent and I'm pretty broke most of the time without extra childcare costs.
If my parents can't help out with before/after school childcare it's very likely I won't be able to continue.

I'm studying because I want a better future for us and I don't want to be reliant on benefits. If I have to stop I will be a benefit claimant for life. Obviously my parents lives are far more important but it would still be a very hard thing to swallow, especially considering the hard work and sacrifices I've made so far.

I agree it needs to be left up to individual families. If grandparents have a health condition then it might be better for them not to have contact. But this embargo on families having any contact isnt sustainable or even a good idea.

Bit of a side point but this comment from another posted made me sad where they mentioned their parents not providing childcare.....Not the daily drudgery of childcare and school runs

Childcare for their grandchildren fills both my parents and parents in law with complete joy. They are both so sad they can't see our DD and the rest of their grandchildren during this time (childcare and in general!)

Are you suggesting that childminders and after school clubs are virus free?

Children may be affected less but I don’t think that’s enough of a reason to stop grandparents from seeing, babysitting or visiting their grandchildren.

Also grandparents are substantially cheaper in the majority of cases, where do you think all that extra cash will come from?

My parents have both said if this goes on longer than September they will be taking their chances with Covid and seeing their grandkids. They don't want to live shut up in their house seeing the kids that they have looked after 3 days a weeok since my eldest was six months old, by Skype only.

I knew just by looking at the post title that you were going to be someone who has had no grandparent help OP. Bitter much.

Someone could be a grandparent at 40 or even younger.

My grandchild usually goes to nursery part of the week and spends the other days with me whilst her parents are at work. I am 60, in good health and with no underlying conditions. One of the conditions of the lockdown being lifted is a much lower level of infection. Obviously there are some risks but we can't put life on hold until we get a vaccine which could be one to two years away. My son still lives at home and is a key worker so we have lived with that risk throughout the crisis. If I were over 70 and/or had underlying conditions I might feel differently - I would want to see my grand child regularly but probably not do childcare. It is down to individual families to make a risk assessment as to what is sensible for their situation - I would not be happy to be told by government that no grandparents can do childcare whatever their age or health just because it might be unwise for some to do so.

Ds3's cm is in a high risk (not shielding though I don't think) group and I was thinking the other day that her career is more or less over. Unless there is a vaccine, how can she ever go back to the work she was doing?

This is going to change such a lot of things about life, isn't it :(

I agree DrinkingInTheNightGarden and there was also the unpleasant insinuation from the OP that grandparents are being forced into doing childcare so that parents can forge their way up the career ladder and increase their earning potential rather than that some of us are lucky enough to have kind parents and ILs who want to care for their grandchildren, do so very well, and we can see the benefit gained by our children and parents through their relationship

There was research within the last week or so suggesting that children aren't such high-risk spreaders of this virus as they are with other viruses such as flu. We need more research on this, to see if it's right, before we can assess the risk of children spending time with grandparents.

I’m not bitter, we have a wonderful life and great kids and very happy with our lot.
I genuinely see so much contradiction with this issue in RL and on here. It’s an emotive one as obviously regardless some plp will be put at risk and there’s no avoiding that I guess. I just don’t get why if we are being so (rightly) careful about even thinking of sending kids back to school the same level of caution doesn’t apply to what I and the facts consider bigger risk factors. It’s a genuine thing I have been thinking about and no I don’t it’ll be exactly the same again. Anyway will bow out , I’ll do what we think is right and plp can make up their own minds. We aren’t in the UK and that might affect what I’m thinking here , maybe it’s less of a risk in the Uk etc.

Let me see since the grand children came along we have had many colds, hand foot and mouth, tonsillitis, stomach bugs, etc. because we see them socially. I guess carers/grandparents run the risk of all these. We got these bugs because they flit between private nurseries and school.

I dont understand how you can write 'grandparents are most at risk' when not all of them are! Just because someone is a grandparent does not automatically mean they are over 70. My mum is a grandparent, she is 52. My dad is a grandparent, he is 51. Its massively frustrating me how much people stereotype grandparents with age!

My DD’s gave my mum scarlet fever, which they got from school. I felt awful but my mum said she knows she runs the risk of catching things from them but she’d still rather spend time with them.

I see a few others have said the same i apologise didn't read all comments

I am a grandparent and I work full time and always had to pay for full time childcare for babies and toddlers so I am afraid I am not available to care for grandchildren whilst parents work.

Surely the GPs who are in their 50's are in general, still working full time and not available for childcare anyway, so not really relevant to the OPs point?

My mother works full time and under normal circumstances cares for two of her grandchildren two days a week. She is a doctor. I’m not saying every grandparent should or would, but you know, some do