Do you think we’ll be able to see close family soon?

[Daybyday89]

I don’t care about anything else! I just want to see my family. I know probably everyone wants this but I’m really hoping when they review restrictions 7th May they’ll look at us possibly being able to see close family. What do you think?

I know nobody knows for definite and everyone is probably sick and tired of seeing threads like this but just a glimmer of hope and positivity right now I need it.

We won’t be seeing our parents (80s), or anyone else for that matter, until there’s an effective vaccine. Shielding my husband and not even grocery shopping in person. It’s going to be a long old haul.

@frillyfucks I would see your mum if I was you

@frillyfucks You do what you need to do. It's very easy for all these people sat at home with support to dictate. You need to look after yourself and the little ones.

The thing is they have to be super strict because people will push it hugely.
For example it would be nice to be able to meet up with family for a socially distant outdoor walk or chat but although most people would manage that, a few would turn it into a big day at the beach or a huge bbq.
So i think it will remain for a while.

I also believe that they need to relax the rules a bit or there will be a massive MH crisis especially for people who live alone.

I am particularly worried about my mum, recently widowed, was coping but with lockdown I'm not so sure.

DH is worried about a colleague who already has MH issues, and living alone, WFH not seeing anyone.

If you say we'll allow two households to mix, that's probably not much different to my mum potentially moving in with my brother who lives nearby or to allow a couple who normally live apart to be back in their own homes.

People in 80s and 90s will end up taking their own risks, if I can't see my family I'm as well dead, so I'd rather take the risk.

Dozer you are wrong about immunity. Patrick Vallance has said all viruses confer some immunity and the chance of catching it again is there but it is tiny and would be a milder version. They can mutate like flu but that’s what the vaccine development will be working on. Most of us will get it mildly or without symptoms hence why it spreads but also why many people will be ok to work again.

Frilly - imo see your mum - your mental health is important to be able to care for your kids. If at home that is low risk for you. If you have all been self isolating for weeks as you say the risk of you carrying it seems low to me.

I never claimed to know the position on immunity, but media reports say the position

“ It's very easy for all these people sat at home with support to dictate”. Why are you making those assumptions about other posters’ situations?

frilly has said that she is concerned for her MH, and the impact of not seeing her mum on her MH, but doesn’t at this point have a MH issue and has not sought NHS MH support. I have a diagnosed MH issue myself and use services. Doesn’t mean my feelings and wishes are more important than others’ health, or that it’s fine if I decide not to socially distance.

Some service users may be advised by their service to do X, Y or Z, eg meet family face to face. That’s different.

Have every sympathy for everyone experiencing MH issues at present, myself included, but it’s not a license to do things that could have serious consequences for other citizens.

But @Dozer it’s “having serious consequences” for these citizens too.

There’s a balance to be struck.

Yes, which is why people like myself with pre existing MH issues, or who now have MH symptoms, are best advised by GP or professional MH services, where available.

I think they will have to do something or people will just ignore it and not give a fuck about “protecting the NHS” or whatever brain dead slogan is being parroted to us that week. Maybe a relaxation with a recommendation that social distancing is maintained.

Sick of the whole bloody thing. The government have made a total fuck up of all this and it’s the people who suffer.

Then expect round 2 to hit quicker

That would be a positive actually, the more it’s delayed the risk of it peaking in winter increases which no one wants.

My mum lives a few miles drive away - she could either drive to my house or walk, and stay with me for a week or two. We (as households) have both been self isolating for a number of weeks, so asides from it being "against the rules" what other risks does it pose exactly, for other citizens?

I am the most compliant person, it is against my nature to break any rules, as a professional my vocation means I am soft programmed to follow legislation to the letter - I haven't only followed the social distancing rules imposed since lockdown but I haven't left my home at all, which granted is easier for me as we live in a lot of space.

I had PND with my firstborn, I do not want to go on medication when I believe putting myself in a more positive frame of mind by assembling my support network will suffice. Also at a time where the NHS is under immense strain, it seems incredibly counter productive to me to "stay home to protect theNHS" by using them to solve something I can easily solve myself.

Like I say, I haven't broken any rules yet, but no one can live like this indefinitely without being given a timescale or a plan - even the most laid back personalities will be struggling with this limbo. The government need to outline what their exit strategy looks like before the general public lose focus and break rank en masse.

If more people don’t comply the impact may be more hospitalised / suffering long term health issues / dying. Or not, we don’t know, yet.

Your mum is local, which is great. As you say, risks seem relatively low. You’d be mixing two households. It’d be different for me, since my family are 5 hours away.

I think that's what is slightly galling about lockdown - it's a blanket ban on everything because a certain percentage of the country can't be trusted to make sensible decisions and we all know you can't legislate common sense. Realistically the impact of my mum coming to stay here is nil. And as lockdown continues, more people will draw that same conclusion and start moving.

@frillyfucks go get your mums help and support. We're heading for a huge mental health crisis. Your kids need you to be healthy and that included mentally.

They won't ban seeing family for a year or anything as they know people won't comply. They may advise various cautionary measures or limits. My concern is that even when we are 'allowed' to see family, vulnerable or elderly will still be at risk. I don't know how we will weigh that up.

If we come out of lockdown earlier than ideal in terms of transmission rates, it will be more dangerous to see those family members, so I guess we have to wait and see where we are.

Yes, a big issue will be that unless we self isolate before seeing family, which will be difficult when DC are at school and workplaces require our attendance, visiting will significantly increase older and retired/not working vulnerable people’s risks.

Huge challenges too for vulnerable / “shielding” people currently in paid work and people in their households.

As soon as I get the opportunity and it's safe I'm taking my DS to see my dad. My dad misses him terribly. DS and DP haven't been out since lockdown began so the risk is actually my dad to them (obviously I pose a certain risk as I have to get the shopping for both houses).

@frillyfucks it would be within guidelines for your mum and/or dad to move in for a reasonable period to help look after the baby wouldn’t it? Not sure if that is something you want to but just highlighting in case it is.

I'm wondering if there is any correlation between the people who are in absolutely no rush to be seeing friends and family and supportive of the continuing lock down and those who have lost people to COVID 19.

I know 5 people who have died, 3 friends of friends, ( 2 of those I had met once) 1 work colleague and one of my oldest closest friends.
I would stay home for 6 months if it meant I didn't lose anyone else, honestly I would.
I'm going to have to stop reading these threads, they are driving me mad!

Isolated - sorry for your losses. It is a factor but also we have been told that most cases will be mild and some people get it without knowing. I know several intelligent people who have had it (not tested) and felt better quickly. If two households have isolated for 5 weeks their chances of passing it to each other are very low. That doesn’t mean we all rush to pubs - it’s about sensible decisions.

Isolateddizzy yes there probably is a link between those who have been affected by the virus and those who haven't. But it still doesn't stop people wanting some sort of normality back.

Since the advent of antibiotics people have become 'soft' maybe not the right word but I can't find a better one. Before then many died young. Illnesses we now vaccinate against and others we now treat were rife and causing many premature deaths. 100 or so years ago Consumption (TB) hospitals or isolation units were being built. People were isolated together not home alone.

Religion is currently seen as whoo and an irrelevant superstition. However if nothing else religion, faith in God gives hope in times of crisis. Churches are very good at providing somebody to talk through problems with. Lack of hope and faith and people to talk with means we have black holes and no way out and massive MH issues.

Humans are social beings. What were are currently doing is going to cause MH issues in people who don't generally have issues. Even people who don't ordinarily drink are turning to alcohol, its seen in the shops sales are up.

The economy can't be closed for months without collapsing. Peoples MH can only withstand so much. So a balance needs to be struck. Maybe we need to turn the clock back a bit to simpler times.

Mixing households is a hazard, whether the other household shares our DNA or not. Because it is very unlikely to be just two (previously isolated/rigidly distanced) households, but several and including those who need to leave their homes for work or whatever. Plus the odd best friend whose just like family. Not all together in one big party obviously, but like the 'when you sleep with him, you sleep with all his ex girlfriends' idea when there could be unrestricted contact very a fortnight or so.

The transmission chains could easily be up and running within 2-3 weeks of this (well, they'd be up and running from the off, but we'd only spot that it had happened a couple of weeks after)

That's why we need excellent contact tracing, rapid compliance with all contacts quarantining in rigid isolation for a fortnight and testing at end of quarantine to show they are not an outlier whose incubation period is >14 days.

Ditto for schools going back (which is another form of household mixing) or any relaxation of social distancing, come to that.

The five tests for ending lockdown - which include sufficient supplies and infrastructure for tests - seem pretty sensible to me

I'm getting to the point where if this lockdown is extended I'm going to break ranks.

You're not the only one.