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Original poster

Do you think we’ll be able to see close family soon?

207 replies

Daybyday89 · 22/04/2020 21:57

I don’t care about anything else! I just want to see my family. I know probably everyone wants this but I’m really hoping when they review restrictions 7th May they’ll look at us possibly being able to see close family. What do you think?

I know nobody knows for definite and everyone is probably sick and tired of seeing threads like this but just a glimmer of hope and positivity right nowSad I need it.

OP posts:
Icanflyhigh · 23/04/2020 01:38

As I understand it, some emergency services have been told to work towards a date of 21st May for a partial lift on restrictions - but that is only IF the 5 tests are passed which indicate the lockdown had been successful.

Opinewine · 23/04/2020 03:51

I decided today that we need to invent a suit that covers you in a protective bubble so you can go and visit relatives. Not like ppe, more of a see through plastic inflatable outfit. I know we need ppe first but money has to be on this too.

Mascotte · 23/04/2020 04:01

I too think people will decide to see their loved ones regardless soon. I think it’s that part of all this which is so hard.

Redglitter · 23/04/2020 04:03

I see my Mum when I'm dropping off her messages. I sit in the car she stands at the door & we chat. It's not perfect but it's the best we can do. I'm really missing my brother & his family they only stay half an hour away but have no essential reason for being over here so I havent seen them since before lockdown. My Mums really missing seeing them too.

I think itll be June before anything changes. I've resigned myself to that and if it changes earlier itll be a bonus

newatbabystuff · 23/04/2020 04:13

We’re desperate for this to happen - my MIL got diagnosed with cancer the week before lockdown and then 2 weeks ago found out there’s nothing they can do and she’s got 6 months to live. Horrific. She’s got 3 grandkids including my 1 year old and none of us can see her - it’s too risky but we are so worried that this will go on another month or so and by the time we see her she’ll have gone downhill a bit. People keep saying they’re sure this is an exception and I think it would be for say my DP to go see her on his own and help look after her - but i don’t think taking a toddler round to visit really counts? It’s so hard to know what’s best to do.

TimeForChange123 · 23/04/2020 04:16

I think a lot of people are going to make their own risk assessments very soon, regardless of 'guidelines'.

PinkSpring · 23/04/2020 04:18

If they don't allow people to visit family at the next review, people will just do it anyway. Lots of my neighbours now have family visiting as people have decided it's worth the risk obviously.

Morporkia · 23/04/2020 04:20

DH and I have discussed this at length. He’s classed as more vulnerable than vulnerable but not as vulnerable as very very vulnerable...As a result we’ve pretty much decided that seeing our kids and grandson isn’t worth the risk until we have some sort of vaccine/cure/corona killing meteorite. Breaks my heart to think I might not be able to hold my grandson for a long time, but DH needs shielded so that’s my priority 😔

Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/04/2020 06:56

Another here who thinks it will be June. Under normal circumstances we see my mum every week. She's not old and has already had Covid-19 anyway so as soon as we are allowed to we're going to see her.

HoneyBee03 · 23/04/2020 07:10

I've been thinking that they will allow smaller gatherings, maybe up to 5 people or something, when the current lockdown ends in a few weeks. A lot of people I've spoken to in real life also think so. We've been really hoping we will get to see our friends and relatives! So I'm quite surprised to read this thread and see that most people can't see this happening.

Chrisinthemorning · 23/04/2020 07:14

I will get lynched but I see my parents every week.
We walk to their back garden on our daily exercise and they sit on the balcony and talk to us while DS plays.
I can’t work out the risk involved. We’re way more than 2m apart, no food or drink, outdoors, no travel because their house is walking distance.
My Dad also walks here on his daily exercise to collect the milk (we have a milkman and we’re ordering extra milk and eggs for them. I wipe the milk bottles!). He sits on the garden wall and I sit on our steps for a little chat, again way more than 2m apart.
It won’t be much fun in the winter but for now it’s fine.

Karmatime · 23/04/2020 07:15

My parents are in their 80s, both shielded and live a 3 hour drive away. I am hoping that at some point this summer, late June or July, I could self-isolate for 2 weeks and then drive down to visit them, just for a short time, stay in the garden, take my own food etc. and drive back. My brother lives near them and does their shopping so he sees them from afar. It would mean a lot to them to just see me. We talk daily but neither of them are tech savvy so just phone calls. It’s off the cards now as it’s a long non-essential drive but I live in hope it will be possible in the not too far distant future.

HarrietOh · 23/04/2020 07:15

Really bloody hope so I live alone and want to see DP, who also lives alone! We’re both struggling.

BuffaloCauliflower · 23/04/2020 07:16

@newatbabystuff nothing would stop me seeing my mum in that situation. They’d have to actually arrest me. Go see your mum

BuffaloCauliflower · 23/04/2020 07:17

@newatbabystuff sorry MIL - same situation

Dozer · 23/04/2020 07:24

It’s newatbabystuff’s MIL. Sad situation. I have a similar dilemma but not yet had prognosis (delayed due to covid impact on cancer services). Parents are 5 hours drive away.

Visiting (not to stay and provide support or care, just visiting) would increase covid risks to (i) the unwell person, (ii) their partner (who are often elderly and/or vulnerable too), and (iii) other people.

Another challenge is that once we’re working, DC in school etc, if (as seems likely) there is no vaccine the risks will still be there, and we could be asymptomatic and pass the virus on to people who become v unwell.

Unless the situation changes I don’t think I’ll visit unless it’s to stay there and provide support/care, which I don’t think will be possible as DH and I need to try and stay in paid work.

AmelieTaylor · 23/04/2020 07:25

The thing is, even when it's 'allowed' that won't make your parents/family/friends any less dead if you give it to them.

Sneaking around to see family & friends 'even if it's not allowed' will result in deaths & a second wave

Is it really more important to see your mum in May or have her around for a few more years yet?

That graph above is pointless - it's from MARCH

majesticallyawkward · 23/04/2020 07:29

My DHs' job involves planning and he is working end of may/early June at the earliest for any sort of relaxing. He's not in government but the info and analysis he's had so far has been accurate so I'm quietly hopeful that we'll see some relaxation in around 6 weeks... what that would look like I don't know.

I'm guessing for me I won't be able to drive 30 miles to visit my key worker mum or brother or shielded DGM still but maybe those with lower risk or closer family members will see some of restrictions lifted. It all depends on what happens in that time in between.

Dozer · 23/04/2020 07:31

It frustrates me when people imply that they are or intend to go against guidelines, or do things that increase their own, family members’ and other citizens’ risks because they love their family / can’t bear not to see them, or don’t want their family members to be sad.

We all love our family and want to see them. But covid risks, including to vulnerable people we care about and who we don’t know, matter too.

Greggers2017 · 23/04/2020 07:33

I hope so, I'm getting fed up of writing death reports for the coroner at work, for my service users who have taken their own lives due to being isolated and not able to manage their mental health with no support network 😢

Dozer · 23/04/2020 07:34

That’s v sad, greggers.

Mental health services have been under resourced for decades.

middleager · 23/04/2020 07:36

Are people not already visiting their parents from a distance? When I drop food off for mine, I stand as far away as possible from them and we have a chat.

Then you're very lucky. Just before lockdown my 74 year old mother moved two hours away to my brother's house after her partner of 30 years ended their relationship.

My family haven't seen her since February. She used to live 5 mins away and I saw her twice weekly.

She's been very depressed since the breakup and leaving her home and I am very worried about her mental and physical health. I am worried I might not see her again and that seeing us was a light in her life.

Others will have parents in care homes so.not everybody has this luxury of seeing parents.

People will start rule breaking, me possibly included.

Dozer · 23/04/2020 07:39

That’s not OK though: your wish to visit your mum and help her with respect to her wellbeing and MH doesn’t outweigh that you’d be increasing covid risks, both for her and other people.

Greggers2017 · 23/04/2020 07:41

@Dozer I work in substance misuse but all appointments have gone to telephone across most services. The majority of our services users have mental health issues.
It's not just in our service either. 2 people I know personally have taken their own lives in the last two weeks.

This is not including the people who have passed away due to their addiction as they aren't getting their support.

I think going forward we are going to see a lot of deaths, from many different things, due to services being postponed. It's very worrying.

Pipsqueak11 · 23/04/2020 07:51

My daughter has had it and thankfully recovered well so if she's immune I'm not sure I can see an issue with her visiting us - am I being dense ?

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