Do you think we’ll be able to see close family soon?

[Daybyday89]

I don’t care about anything else! I just want to see my family. I know probably everyone wants this but I’m really hoping when they review restrictions 7th May they’ll look at us possibly being able to see close family. What do you think?

I know nobody knows for definite and everyone is probably sick and tired of seeing threads like this but just a glimmer of hope and positivity right now I need it.

@newatbabystuff that’s so sad. I think you should all just see her if she wants to.

I've missed seeing children and grandchildren more than anything else but the restriction will not be lifted soon - how could I keep 2m away from my DGS and not have him run up and hug his old granny! It would be worse than not seeing them at all.

I really don’t understand the MN majority view ...... it makes no sense. Do people really think we will all just have to sit at home till there is a vaccine? What if there never is one? Then what? Lockdown was to make sure the nhs can cope with cases. There hasn’t been much agreement about anything so far in the bloody mess but the one thing has been that the nhs has plenty of critical care beds ....... too many in fact. The ‘nightingale’ hospitals have been mainly unnecessary. If you look at the govt 5 conditions they are basically about capacity to cope. We are all going to get this virus ....there is no way to stop that. That is as ridiculous as saying we are going to stop everyone from getting a cold. The nhs needs the capacity to cope and then we need to get on with living our lives.

@Bluebelle24 It's horrible isn't it. I speak to them most days on Skype but it's not the same thing at all

Both my parents are in separate care homes. My mum was moved into one during lockdown after a massive heart attack just before lockdown. Both of them have dementia, can’t speak to my dad on phone or FaceTime at all as he’s end stages. Difficult to talk to mother as she’s perhaps mid stage and is cross and depressed. I don’t think I’ll see either of them again

I really hope so. The annoying thing is that I don't really see any risk in us seeing them. The only ones we want to see are ILs, both young ish, no health problems, been isolating during lockdown. DC are desperate to see them. Obviously they aren't doing but I'm getting to the point where I can no longer see the benefit in us being apart.

@Noname99 hits the nail on the head. If your objective is to stop anyone getting this then you have to remain as you are for potentially a year, more likely two. If you’re not planning on doing that then at an individual level it makes no difference if you meet family next week or in July. The individual risk will not change in the short-medium term. At some point soon we will all crack on with life to some extent and we will all have to decide individually the extent of risk we’re willing to take. Following govt guidelines is about the national picture. When it comes to our families, it’s up to us assess our risk and make decisions we’re comfortable with, balancing all factors.

my MIL got diagnosed with cancer the week before lockdown and then 2 weeks ago found out there’s nothing they can do and she’s got 6 months to live

That's hideous, I'm so sorry. I would go and see her in this situation, if she wanted me to. I would rather live for 3 months with my family than 6 months alone in my house.
But she might feel differently, she might want to keep her risk as low as possible.

I hope you are all doing okay @newatbabystuff especially your mil. I have no idea how you cope with that news at this time.

Yes, probably by June. We will be advised to be cautious though and use our judgement.
It's well known that being socially isolated affects many elderly people very badly, both physically and mentally, so it really can't go on for too long.
Having said that, throwing parties for extended family and hundreds of our 'closest friends' will most likely not be allowed for the forseeable future.

I'm desperate to see family but I wonder whether maybe a further 3 weeks after this current one may just get those numbers down even more before things being lifted..who knows though.

I think it should be about judgement

Sitting in a garden talking to your adult sibling 2 metres apart, both in 30s pretty safe.

Visiting 93 grandma to wave though window or sit in garden else she doesn’t see another human for months might be worth it to her

As covid logically was spreading for weeks/months before we started lockdown I can’t see us having another peak like this. We were completely unprepared before and now we are.

Ps also slightly relieved not to be seeing certain relations 😬

My dad sees my grandmother regularly. She’s in her late 80s and blind - it’s not like she can be left on her own for 6 months.

I think schools going back, with little chance of SD working will have a huge impact on people’s attitudes. Probably not parties and bbqs, but family visiting family who are not shielding.
Impact on MH has already been almost unbearable for many.

My dm was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s just after Christmas. Last night on the phone she wasn’t sure who I was, even when I explained I’m her daughter. It got better throughout the call, but I’m hoping I get to see her before this horrible illness gets worse. I hate it.

She still has carers coming twice a day for meds and food prep which puts my mind at ease a lot.

A few of my neighbours have been doing this anyway so I would imagine that most people will visit family soon regardless of the rules. Who is enforcing it anyway? It’s not a problem for me as I don’t have many friends and I have been dropping essentials to my parents and having a chat through the window anyway so I’m not too bothered!

Thanks for the kind words @Noworrieshere - it’s not just her we worry about getting it, it’s her husband and ourselves too to be honest. We’d really struggle if one of us got ill and her husband needs to stay well to look after her. Such a hard situation! I definitely think my DP should go and at least sit in the garden with her at a distance - hard as that will be. He needs to make the most of her being here. We’re all devastated and just don’t know what the right thing to do is.

I honestly can't see the risk in sitting in the garden at a safe distance - I would make it much further than 2 metres, don't touch anything, don't have a cuppa, don't use the loo. Insist that they don't touch the chair you sat on.

There's literally no way you can infect someone if you stick to those rules. I think the issue is people find it hard to do that, children don't understand, pets run between people etc. So the advice has to be blunt to catch all. In reality, if your personal circumstances can guarantee you will stick to those safety measures, then I can see no reason not to.

My heart goes out to you @Newatbabystuff I agree that your DP should go visit her at a safe distance.

I visited a friend who is shielding with a life threatening illness. I sat in her garden, she sat in her living room window and we chatted through the glass. It was lovely, and carried no risk.

Can I choose close friends rather than family?

Honestly it’s ridiculous that you’re not allowed to see your own parents or partner even if you meet in a park and stay 2m away, but you can go into a crowded supermarket with loads of strangers inches away, or (if necessary) get on public transport cooped up close with loads of strangers.

The thing is, even when it's 'allowed' that won't make your parents/family/friends any less dead if you give it to them.

The chance that you (third person you) are infected but in the 3% of people who are asymptomatic carriers, and that you happen to pass it on to someone who is in the 2% of people who die from it, is statistically minute.

Unless you’re planning to visit a person in the vulnerable category (which is obviously stupid), the risk of killing someone is negligible.

People keep forgetting that lockdown is NOT INTENDED TO STOP US GETTING IT. The only reason we’re in lockdown is to flatten the curve so the NHS isn’t overwhelmed by the minority of cases bad enough to require hospital treatment.

@Sennetti 'refrain from using the NHS' ? The NHS especially in England has firmly closed its doors to anyone not suspected or confirmed to have COVID.

My DH is terminally ill with cancer and currently an inpatient. We've been told no treatment as all resources are reserved for the virus. We aren't allowed to visit.

It's doubtful that anyone will see DH alive again. I've scrupulously followed the government guidelines but I feel totally let down.

I was speaking with one of my siblings last night.
They’re not far away but we have all adhered to the strict lockdown guidelines as any journey to see one another is not essential. And both households have stuck to the guidelines.

However I agree that people are going to start making their own decisions if this lockdown is further extended. Especially if there is no one in the immediate family who fits the ‘vulnerable’ category on paper. (And yes I’ve read and am fully aware that this virus is getting younger / healthier people). But if the alternative is sitting indoors for 18 months until a vaccine is created then that’s a complete non starter for me and many others. This is super tough on children and even starting to wear someone like me (who is quite positive), down.

My sibling will be visiting by mid May. No pets. All older children (so all understand zero physical contact). Garden catch up, 2 meters apart.

And I’m so sorry for all the posters with family members who are terminally unwell. Heartbreakingly sad. And it’s scary to think how big the wider backlog for critical treatment could become.