The positive mental health thread part 6

[Bunnyflop]

Morning all! Welcome to the new thread!

My husband had a bit of a melt down last week. He had been trying to keep productive while he has been at home and looking for jobs to do. He started getting more and more stressed about doing something all the time, even when he didn't feel like it or had ran out of things needed to be done. I told him to just stop, if he felt like doing something, great. If not, don't. Read a book, watch a film, cook ,just stop putting pressure on himself. All this talk of learning a language or building your own shed or whatever we see online is good but it's not compulsory. These are strange times and we are all feeling a bit wobbly. I'd rather look after our mental health then feel like we are not being productive whilst at home and add guilt on top of everything else. I've eased up on the home schooling regime, I was getting stressed, kids getting stressed. Still doing some but usually finished by lunch time. I'm just concentrating on us eating well, doing something together we enjoy and getting enough sleep. In all the uncertainty, looking after ourselves and each other is at least something we can control. Hugs to all having a rough day x

Hi Orangeblossom! Weren’t you on earlier threads?

I think with calling relatives it’s a matter of balancing what you think you should do re looking after yourself - I was finding calling my parents very draining for a bit when my Dad was just angry about lockdown and wanted to rant about it and endlessly discuss it when I was hating talking about anything Covid... I’ve settled into a weekly call now (and they’ve settled down a bit!) which is completely manageable for me and doesn’t leave me feeling guilty either.

Dianne - so sorry you are feeling so down.

What I try to do when everything feels overwhelming is start with just really checking in with yourself and trying to find some small way to be kind to yourself and to boost you up a little. If you can feel a little bit better then being able to engage with DCs will come much easier and it might feel more doable to think about work and how you can make a plan for going back and feeling ok.

So, i don’t know what works for you, but for me it would be taking the time to go for a walk by myself, have a bath and dress in nice clothes, do a short guided meditation (lots online), take some time to sit in bed and read, even just make yourself a nice cup of tea and let yourself have the time to just sit and enjoy it and not think about anything else you should be doing. Or it might be that actually getting something done like ringing someone you ought to or cleaning a room or whatever is the thing that will make you feel better. Just treat yourself really gently and don’t beat yourself up for feeling bad

Hi Cally yes I think I maybe was on one of the early ones yes, just been lurking a while so thought would introduce myself again

Yes a weekly call sounds a plan, doing that for the in laws too. it can be hard as well as a good thing, social contact at times!

We make sure that someone calls MIL (just turned 89) every day but she's been very pragmatic so is easy to talk to. She got a new walking frame just before lockdown and it's given her enough confidence to have a little stroll up and down her little cul de sac every day where she's lived for more than 60 years. Her neighbours pop out to say hello and catch up and she has all the gossip!

I've been at home for eight weeks now so I'm quite jealous

Thanks for the kind words

it really is much appreciated x

Elloello - did my earlier post before I saw your post (think I must take a long time to type looking at the time stamps!)

Some days just don’t work... sorry you’re having a rough one. How old are your kids? Are they all old enough to be entertained by screens once school work’s done so you can have a time out? Hope you can steal a bit of time to yourself (or at least a sneaky Mumsnet/phone scroll whilst sitting down and watching tv with them or something).

Printers malfunctioning always make me totally rage so I get that making things worse!

As you said yourself, some days you can do it all no problem, but it can be absolutely relentless with children at home day in day out and some days you will just need a rest. Hugs to you.

I seem to have hit a wall and a lot of people I know who have been coping quite well seem to be getting low now.

Hello everyone, we got our fortnightly call from a school PSA today. It's nice to talk another adult, especially one who is specifically interested in your child and makes supportive noises. She said a lot of families were saying they were starting to find it harder to juggle everything. Fortunately, DS school have been quite relaxed, they provide plenty but have said don't worry about doing all of it, so long as the kids keep their literacy and numeracy skills up to speed.

Also they haven't asked to print anything, that would push me over the edge! We didn't have a printer that worked for years, we got one after lockdown started but I wouldn't want to have to, they don't come cheap.

Interesting that many of us have been having a blip recently. Me too! Hopefully coming out of it a bit more. I actually do find it useful that posters share this on here as well as the good stuff! Feel less alone! As long as there's still mostly good stuff!

Re phone calls with family, I had to be stern with my family early on because I had a few calls with my mum which consisted of her going on about how awful my husband's situation is at this time. "Yes, shut the fuck up mother! I do fucking know!" I thought but didn't say. Then the phone call with my sister where I told her my ds was having to isolate as his housemate had symptoms and she helpfully pointed out that if you get it from a housemate it will likely be more severe! Thanks sister! She said "oh don't worry, if he's sick we'll just drive down, pick him up and he can stay with us!" Err.. no.. he'll be stuck on his own. In isolation. That's what it means!! She does have form for just spouting on without thinking. Although, mostly, she's not like that! Anyway, hopefully, I've nipped all their thoughtless talk in the bud!

Spudlet my running loving bil did a virtual race recently. He actually physically did it on a course of his choosing, but was on his own. The virtual part was that they all logged their times. Maybe there's more virtual races you could partake in?

Also, I'm having a duvet day today! I might have had a bit of one yesterday too! I will be cooking dinner though. Cheesy pork steaks from Hello Fresh! Although I don't think I'll order any more from them for a bit. Not that impressed by their selection/prices/high salt content.

Ugh, I haven't been on this thread in a while as I've been keeping my mental health in check pretty well. It's now 13 days until my C section, I and myself tested negative for Covid last week after reporting some symptoms on the app, but I'm just so worried and stressed one or both of us will get it before the due date (despite us going nowhere apart from a daily walk!). It's so annoying that I can't just enjoy the last few days of my pregnancy and be excited. I have several mindful apps on my phone which work well and I know deep down, I'm prob just feeling crappy because I'm tired. But it's hard to talk to people about these kinds of things

@tobee Yes, there are lots! Considering doing one, I did do one last year at Christmas and it was satisfying, getting my medal in the post. I should have another on the way too soon, for taking part in a virtual race during International Autism Week. So just wondering if I can justify it to myself...

Oh yes Spudlet I remember you posting about that race! 🤦‍♀️

For anyone on Facebook, a friend of mine invited me to join a Facebook group recently. It's called "View from My Window" and is full of pictures posted by people all over the world of a view from their place of lockdown. It's absolutely fascinating and I've been a bit addicted to it for the last couple of days. A huge range of photos from Hawaii to Russia and everywhere in between. Also lots of caring and positive posts, all of us stuck at home.

Oh tobee ! I've just been looking at "View from my window", it made me cry. So many people in the same situation, from all over the world, sending love and good wishes to strangers. Just lovely. I hope we don't lose that type of connection when this is all over

I've been tearful too the last few days. I think it was that during full on lockdown I felt I just had to 'survive'. Now it's all feeling more long term and I want some quality of life back and the Initial 'novelty' of the situation has worn off along with the adrenaline.

@chrissieone I'm glad you looked it but I'm sorry it made you cry. I can't think of a similar situation where I've felt so much part of the global community.

That makes sense of my feelings too Arcadia

Lurker and occasional poster here....I have been loving View from my Window and it makes me relive the travels of my younger days 😌

I'm so stressed out now by all of this on top of everything going on. So upset