The positive mental health thread part 6

[Bunnyflop]

Morning all! Welcome to the new thread!

hi, I'm not remembering to come on this thread as often as I should, so this is kind of a reply to something on #5. If you aren't interested in Cheer on Netflix you can skip this (sorry!)

@Bloodybackpain @cavemum if you see this, thank you for mentioning Cheer! I enjoyed it after seeing you recommending it, suitable escapism from all this. DH said "oh yes, I'd heard it was meant to be good" and had been meaning to tell me to try it but hadn't yet. Some of the team did a Zoom style gathering here if you miss them and want to try it:

I found Cheerleader Generation (on TiVo on demand if you have Virgin, shown on Lifetime I think? I can check). Not as well made as Cheer but met my urge for something related when I ran out of episodes. I used to watch DCC (Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders) when that was on but it hasn't been in some time. I would have nothing to do with cheerleading in RL but find the documentaries fascinating to watch somehow. I haven't been in the mood for darker, gritty stuff these last few months. (Handmaid's Tale etc).

Hi @HelloMist, glad you enjoyed Cheer! Will have a look at that YouTube link, thanks!

@HelloMist ah brilliant! I need to find something similar for distraction purposes.
I’ve fallen off here a bit, just getting on with things really. My positives if today are food related - had a delicious takeaway coffee (I love coffee), then made veggie lasagne and a rhubarb and custard cake for dinner. Then we introduced the DCs to the first lord of the rings film - had forgotten how great they are!

Hi everyone, I've been lurking all along and you never knew! I posted once or twice right at the start. Thought it was time to start pulling my weight around here while some people are finding it hard. DH is a police officer so it's me and DS at home, me trying to WFH full time and supervise some home learning. Thankfully DH is no longer on a shift pattern, or else we'd be creeping around our two bed flat in darkened silence when he'd had a night shift. DS has been great but by Saturday I just need some head space. There is a garden but it's communal and we have largely ceded to neighbours who have a toddler and baby and are in greater need.

Stuff that's helped, and I notice I'm least likely to do some of these when I need them most, is a long chat with a friend by phone. A bike ride my myself. A bit of gardening when the garden is free. Videogaming sometimes.

It makes a world of difference to get out the house by myself. The supermarket can be a bit stressful but I get some of my stuff from a re-fill shop and that tends to be chilled, and a great excuse for a cycle alone as it's further afield. Might take a slightly longer route than strictly necessary.

AssangesCat Welcome out of the lurking shadows!
I really feel for those without an garden/open space, I was always moaning about ours, which isn't much more than a square yard really but have been so grateful for it. I agree with getting out alone, I've started walking whilst listening to an audio book or a podcast. We are in a semi urban area, so only see the same streets and buildings but I enjoy it.

Morning all. Had a better weekend after a very rough start to it all. Had some gaming fun with a new character (geek 🤓) and just back from a pretty decent run, saw some cows with calves and some pretty flowers. Now just about to have a coffee before I have a shower, and planning to bake later, hopefully with DS if I can catch his interest.

Couple of pics from my run. Dog poo is becoming a highly contentious topic on the village Facebook page so this sign made me chuckle. And the calves made me smile (safely from the other side of the fence!)

We have found several beautiful places within an easy walk of our front door. Some we already knew but we rarely took the time to go there or really appreciate the views. I posted a photo from our lunchtime walk on work WhatsApp and a colleague was surprised we were still in Edinburgh. Only about 10 mins from the flat. I'll post a lovely view, but my current pics all have DS bouncing around being identifying so I'll need to get up the hill and take one with no one in.

I had a massive slump last night after Boris' speech. Not sure why but everything just seemed hopeless. I'd bounced back by bedtime I'm glad to say.

Anyway. I was talking to DH about meals and I realised we haven't had a ready meal since lockdown and nearly all our meals have been freshly cooked (apart from pizza once a week). We've had the odd treat but have very little sugar these days.

Has anyone else managed to kick - or reduce - any bad habits in lockdown?

@Spudlet dog poo is also a topic of much debate on my local area Facebook page. I burst out laughing when I saw that two young guys were saying it was human poo and the culprits must be found it didn’t go down too well with some of the more ...officious members of the community but I was knotting myself, and glad of a giggle!

@StCharlotte I have started exercising again which is great. Reading more too.

Another positive is the kids are having a lot more time to play together. Fortunately they get on well (4 and 6). Though we have had lots of emotional outbursts there had also been lots of time for them to get into creative play together.

I have been feeling a bit down about plans to ease lockdown. I expected to be excited but there is so much negativity and fear. I really don’t know what to think. It’s hard to take govt advice at face value but I do want to believe it can be lifted,

StCharlotte's question about bad habits - for some reason although we are decent cooks here we have always struggled to think of what to have for lunch and have a terrible habit of just going out instead. I often kick myself because we end up paying £20 plus for three of us to have the likes of a cheese toastie or something that would be just as good or better at home, a couple of pots of tea and a San Pellegrino just add up quickly. Also, you think it will be quick and easy but it often is no quicker or more relaxed than it would have been at home (DS will get in a flap about what to have in a sandwich etc).

Clearly, in 7 plus weeks of lockdown we have absolutely cracked the what to have for lunch conundrum, I have a call off list for lunches that grows a little every week. Like a lot of people, we're spending more on groceries but saving an absolute fortune on just grabbing a cafe lunch while we're out.

What I would like to know is why everyone eating at home has meant food retailers are complaining they are selling less: we are all still eating, so how come? Is it that we are eating more sensibly and not throwing away so much? because if it is, my thought on that is "Good!"

Nice new (old really) word on the World Service in the early hours: respair. The OED says it is "rare" and defines it as "the converse of despair". I think we could all take it and use it as much as ever we can, because it's a brilliant word for the times: we must respair instead of despairing.

What we used to do, a larger shop at the weekend then little shops throughout the week when we fancied something. Now, we only do one main shop a week and make it last and batch cook. We seem to spend a lot at one time but think overall, we are spending less.

I’ve saved a fair bit on lunches and cups of tea out. Mum and I were in the habit of stopping for tea and toast, etc in Waitrose (approx £8-£9), or popping to the garden centre for tea and cake
Likewise, OH and I liked to go out due Sunday brunch, or lunch on a Saturday. It’s all mounted up

Incidental spends too, I often pass through the city centre after work and end up just popping into x shop for a browse, which turns into buying something

Are food retailers selling less? That is really interesting. I’ve heard people say anecdotally that they’re trying harder to plan and not waste food but I’m (pleasantly) surprised if that is really having a mass impact.

DP was surprised at how much weekly shop was costing now I’m just doing one big shop but I think we’re doing quite well - works out as c.£7 per person per day for 3 meals and 2 snacks, healthy and varied with plenty of treats. Compares well to our previous combined total of food shopping and eating out, and the kids all used to eat at school plus DP worked away four nights a week so I’m doing 19 more person-meals than before.

I'm spending more, partly because of the multibuys being reduced.

We've also changed to one big weekly shop, where as before, we would do a big shop then top up every few days.

Talking about bad habits/good habits - I’ve just passed a year now without drinking alcohol. I picked up a book called The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober in a holiday let and decided it was probably a good thing to try. Now I’ve got to a year I feel a bit strange about it - keep having dreams where I drink and enjoy it but then regret it. Part of me would love to have a nice glass of wine in the evening as a nice treat/ritual and part of me thinks I suit being teetotal better (I don’t have alcoholism; struggled with my drinking habits in my twenties but once I found out I was pregnant over ten years ago I pretty much overnight changed to a very moderate/light drinker so have been that way for a long time).

On the good habits front - I really want/need to exercise more and am just not doing it. My back hurts a lot at the moment and I think it probably would be better with more movement. I’m missing big walks, and I’d like to do more yoga, but it doesn’t really work when the kids are in the house, and when they’re asleep I’m just knackered and want to curl up on the sofa... not sure how to get myself doing something!

Hi hope you don't mine me joining, been watching for a while, nice to hear some normality and people being able to say what they feel without judgement is refreshing.

I changed from antidepressants to St John's wort at the start of the year and so far that is OK, hoping not to change back. It is a bit expensive though.

We live in a top floor flat in the city centre with two boys 11 and 15. Year 6 and 10. Hearing maybe my 11 year old can go back in start of June, his teacher rang yesterday and he said "I'm quite missing school' and she said hopefully to see him soon. I hope so or that would be difficult for him after chatting to her and hearing that!

It's quite stressful as DH is on immune meds but he is going back to work as he's in manufacturing soon as well. I am just trying to stay positive, we have been through other decisions in the past health wise so it's not new to us. Things like surgery or trying different meds, lots of things have risks and maybe sometimes when you have had stuff in the past it helps in a strange way. Not sure.

We also have close relatives one with end stage cancer and another with sarcoidosis which is an autoimmune lung conditions so won;t be seeing them for a while

However I'm quite an introvert and secretly enjoying not having to e.g. kiss or hug strangers or be around lots of people e.g. in shops (live in a usually busy touristy kind of place) So as with everything there are positives.

I really feel for with younger children - remember that being intense and things like toddler groups being a life saver. Although at least the parks are open now. I remember long walks with mine when little. Here we have the Botanical Gardens open again which is one of my favourite places. And can sit there in a bench (woohoo) without fear of judgement anymore! Thankfully.

Anyway just saying hello from lurking. One of the things I have tried to do with MH over the years is think of 3 positive things in the day which does help sometimes and also CBT as well. Letting go of the things we can't control and thinking of what we can. Being compassionate to ourselves. I don't always practice it though and have been spending too much time browsing news and being grumpy about not going to exercise classes etc.

I have also been feeling guilt over contacting relatives who are older and alone recently as know I should but sometimes it can be upsetting also as feels like not much can do to relieve their loneliness or help when they ask 'when are things back to normal'. In particular my parents live separately, alone, in rural Scotland where they aren't even allowed to see people at all at the moment.

Recently I have dropped the daily calls to every few days and feeling a bit better but a bit guilty too. But it was getting a bit much. Anyway, that's me, enjoying reading the thread. Kind thoughts to all of you

Cally I have the same with drinking, stopped completely now trying a glass or two but maybe at weekends as at start of this was every evening. I also have the back pain too, used to swim quite a lot. Think with me it is sitting more trying to 'home school' etc I might try some pilates perhaps.

Spain’s oldest woman, 113-year-old Maria Branyas, beats coronavirus

www.thetimes.co.uk/edition/news/spains-oldest-woman-113-year-old-maria-branyas-beats-coronavirus-sbjtjc6z3

Hi all I've been trying to keep up but I am really struggling now

I wake up every day and cry because it's just the same shit again. Dh still hasn't got a date for returning to work so we're getting by on less than half the money we used to get as I'm not working either. I am having constant panic attacks and I can't imagine returning to work. My relationship with dh is suffering. I feel angry with him all the time and he's done nothing wrong

and I'm also feeling like I'm a shit mum cos I'm so preoccupied with how bad I'm feeling I can barely look after the kids. let alone care if they're doing school work or not

Sorry for the downer post x

No need to apologise @DianneWhatcock, it’s a tough time that you’re having. I hope it starts to pick up for you soon

@DianneWhatcock try and be nice to yourself. We are all under an enormous amount of strain anyway, let alone adding work and money worries to it. I’ve generally coped ok, but I’ve noticed the last few days have taken a lot more effort to get through.
Maybe take ten minutes and brain dump on a bit of paper every worry and negative thought you have. Then look at the list and pick one thing you can try and do something about. It won’t work for everything as you can’t change the current work situation. But if you’re upset with how you’ve been with the children, maybe plan one thing you can do together - a game, a film, anything - and vow for that hour you’ll give it your undivided attention. So even if all you achieve is one hour a day, you can feel that something worthwhile happened.

If you hate waking up and crying, see if one morning you can get straight out of bed the moment you’re awake and do something differently. If you’re the only one up, is their a tv show you could watch? Go for a walk? Anything to break the pattern.
I think we have to accept that we may not feel like ourselves all the time and that there are going to be real low points. If some days all you manage is to get dressed and all be fed, then so be it. Keep checking in here, we will do what we can to build you up again x

Feeling a bit bottom lip sticky outy here today as my 10k in July has just been cancelled. Obviously this is not a huge surprise, it probably is the right call and it’s of course not the end of the world. But I still feel a bit fed up about it. I didn’t really expect it to go ahead, even when I entered! But still, despite all that, I’m a little bit 😕 Which is very silly really, but it’s how I feel 🤷‍♀️