Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

Morning my favourite subjects, your benevolent leader is amongst you.

I hope you are bowing adequately.

My first decree of the day is that everyone must laugh for at least 15 minutes, preferably outside ,spreading it far and wide and killing as many people as possible.

The UK won't conquer itself,so get to work people!

Haven't found that one yet, but just seen sex referred to as "bam bam" and my eye is twitching already.

Morning all.
Saw that thread Pink the posters ignoring the actual facts from op plus the racism and just piling in her for daring to improve her home was sickening.

And the cleaning food inside packaging?? It takes long enough to shop take it in the house and put it away. I aint cleaning food inside packs as well!!

Working later oh joy.
Pigeons send your dh round here i have tons of diy jobs he can do for me . 😀

Bam bam? Wtaf?

"How dilute is too dilute?"

Is this going to be this generation "to be or not to be question" ?

Who are you lot and where do I apply? I'll bring wine and fruit shortcakes, which I went out especially for. Other biscuits have also been deemed essential if they're not your poison, as have Sour Cream Pringles. I can also submit my Fitbit stats which amply demonstrate that I am not limiting my daily walk to the Mumsnet-Decreed One Hour. Pleeeeease?

Just seen someone saying sainsburys should be sending emails out encouraging people to bake their own bread. Some people are still finding it hard to get hold of years and flour and said 'the last thing we need to people who have never backed bread before, giving it a go and it not working, the buying bread'

Yes apparantly, with all the shit going on....the last thing we needs is people taking up baking. That needs to be preserved for those who can prove they baked before

Welcome @QuimReaper take a seat, but only if you bleached your bum. Otherwise just stand awkwardly and try not to breathe.

greetings quim and welcome to the land of frolicking.

and yes, obviously the NHS WOULD NOT COPE with failed attempt to bake bread would it, I can totally see how that would be the final straw just now

But bread is about the only thing that I've not had an issue buying, I can bake but why start now! It always amazes me that bread flour is always the first thing to disappear at the threat of bad weather, it's been a month and I've not seen a packet anywhere. Just be British and buy a bag of Hovis! 😂😂

Dunno if this is of any use or interest to anyone.

www.zsl.org/learning-resources

Thank you Princess.

I have not bleached my bum (unless you count lightening my anus to a more fetching hue - lockdown entertainment) but I have spritzed it liberally with Zoflora (Bluebell Woods scent) every two hours for three weeks whilst singing Happy Birthday. May I proceed?

I’ve only just surfaced for the day due to the shame of needing to apologise to the universe for DP’s trip to Tesco yesterday. Not only did he go when we had in the house a perfectly good packet of wallpaper paste that we could have lived on for a week, but he also bought biscuits and ice cream.

We are evil.

On a more serious note I wonder how many people will come out of this with stomach issues after all the bleaching,wiping etc. of food items. I'd think inhaling it on a daily basis even if in small amounts can't be good either.

Or other issues as well. DS cried for 20 minutes last night cos he couldn't see his friends.

I am slipping into depression because all my coping mechanisms have been forbidden in the name of saving lives. Because my life obviously doesn't count.
And I just want this over now.
Sorry to be a downer but this thread is the only place I feel safe to express my feelings.

@ISaySteadyOn sorry you are struggling.

What are your coping mechanisms? Can they be adapted to the lockdown? If you need to go out, go out. Your needs are just as valid and necessary as going for food and medicine. Unless you and your child are extremely vulnerable, I'd prioritise your wellbeing now, over made up rules.

But bread is about the only thing that I've not had an issue buying, I can bake but why start now!

Well everyone has made play dough and they need another way to get rid of the flour they stockpiled

I'd think inhaling it on a daily basis even if in small amounts can't be good either.

My mum lost her sense of smell a few years ago. She had all sorts of tests.

Doctor eventually put it down to he copious bleach use. She goes through a bottle a day, in toilets bleaching the kitchen.

When I was pregnant I was quite and thought I was going to loose my daughter. She would come help clean the house and keep me company etc. My dh could tell she had been round when he got out the car because he could smell the bleach from outside.

She doesnt use it anymore. Even now.

@ISaySteadyOn we are all here. We have all been pulled out of hole, bu the others. You can moan and share here.

@LalalalalaLlama that list is incredible. Such a concise explanation of the clrat rules

lala love it.

come out of this with stomach issueserr yeah mines huge now from all the bread I keep eating. I've gone through two loaves this week. I usually eat half a loaf a week. And I'm not bleaching it, or even quarantining it in the garage for 3 days.
Sigh. I really should do more exercise "she says tucking into toast and jam"