Smelly drains,STD soldier but no Clap

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Just in case we have more crimes,murders and general mischief to confess to.

Please leave your shoes at the door, have a Dettol wash and then stand awkwardly while not consuming any perishables.

Ironic smiles and head tilts are ALOUD but absolutely no laughter,fun or enjoying yourselves.

Disinfectant and disposable whips will be provided.

Major catch up needed, I haven't ventured on to any other threads yet, I'm in a good mood as I've been gardening and don't want my nervous tic to start again!

@Thepigeonsarecoming oh yes the last of the Good Doctor had me in tears too, I've yet to see the last Criminal Minds, sounds like I need to get my tissues ready.

@GnomeDePlume your doggy is adorable! I miss having a dog in the house, the cat stares at me every day willing me to go out!

@soupforbrains Happy Happy Birthday!! You are allowed to have as many doorstep deliveries as you like today, it has been decreed and anyone who says differently can just fuck right off! Have a great day with copious amounts of cake.

Two science and nature questions we had in a quiz: Approx how many miles of blood vessels are in a child's body (a) 600 miles (b) 6,000 miles (c) 60,000 miles - answer is (c) - gasp!!
In the human eye what are the Cone cells responsible for. - answer is colour vision

Oh hell yes, Handmaids Tale, we'll all have to start wearing that weird white wimple style headgear soon. 'Blessed by the fruit' indeed!

@CrowCat He is delicious!

Browsing, Wandering, Loitering, Meandering, all words that may soon no longer exist in the dictionary 'sigh'.

Aww look at that itty bitty tiny ickle pup. Cuteness overload. I need snuggles and pup kisses!

Currently queuing for B&M, I am so bored. About 1 minute of relief watching the woman in safety goggle's, mask, gloves spraying down the trolley after it had been used by her.

This is such a dull life.

Loads coming out, but no one allowed in.

Oh puppy is just so gorgeous. 😍
Well I have to say I have had a thoroughly pleasent day, have pottered a lot in the garden, planted up new plants. Oldest 3 DC sat out and chatted pleasantly. Managed to drag myself out for a 3 mile run. Now DH is cooking dinner.
Inspired by earlier comments I found an interesting Handmaid's Tale quote:

"That was when they suspended the constitution. They said it would be temporary. There wasn't even any rioting in the streets. People stayed home at night, watching television, looking for some direction. There wasn't even an enemy you could put your finger on. "

Anyway.... Under His Eye.

Gorgeous puppy

Under his eye - yes, that’s it.

Oh puppy! The little squeaks and funny puppy breath. Adorable.

This current situation is a pretty dire mixture of fear and boredom. It’s not surprising mental health Is taking a hit.

Just catching up and loving all the madness on here, all the fun!!!

I will burn in hell for sure for laughing at the lunacy but what the hell, I hate the cold.

OOOOOOOOOOhhHHHHH puppies!!!!!!! Give us a cuddle please.

Work long and boring but interspersed with occaisional customer asking where things were so I actually got to talk to some people. Am knackered and in my pjs already, still havent made tea, oh the shame.

Happy Birthday Soup loving all those birthday surprises for you, how fab is your mum?

Crow sounds a good idea to me, of course you will wipe out a country the size of India but what the heck its good for you both to touch base (from a distance) and support each other. Whats the difference between that and you walking behind some random on the street?

Just in case you have any near you Lilac Morrisons and Asda usually have compost. (Obviously depending on stocks in your local ones)

I confess I didnt watch The Handmaidens Tale, I dont really like stuff like that where its all soooo unreasonable and totalitarian, these days I dont seem to have the patience for it. Thats probably why MN is pissing me off so much at the moment

Just had a quick look on a thread I am watching and some wag has berated everyone for popping to a shop for bread or milk as they are totally unecessary. Especially as she is martyring herself having bought tons of yeast before lock down and baking her own bread and saving lives dont you know... that will be why there is no yeast to be had for love nor money and no frigging flour! The poster she is berating has a kid with autism who practically lives on bread but thats just tough! Oooooh I could crush a grape.
Loving the Dads Army comparisons, also think its a lot like Red Dwarf all the haters and rule sticklers are Rimmer and the flappers are Kryton and we are Cat and Lister

Right I had better feed the kids.

Ohh I edited a bit and deleted too muich... I did try and watch THT but couldnt get further than 1st episode. Points for trying?

I haven't seen flour in the shops since the week before lockdown. Where is it? Why isn't it being replenished? Who is buying all the flour???
These are the questions they should be asking at the daily briefings!
off to burn some more wood

I have no difficulty finding flour. I am a keen baker even in non lockdown times, and I have, er, six different types of flour in my cupboard. Not a panic buying stockpiler, honest, I always have them on the go.

But what I can't find these days is yeast. Time was when people told me I was mad for baking bread, now everyone is at it

@Pringletastic oh it's been used by all the mumsy mums making saltdough and pancakes and cakes or some such. They singlehandedly ruined lockdown for millions.
There was a thread about it of course.

@isabellerossignol I have a tin of expired yeast if you'd like. I can sacrifice OH with a trip to the post office.

We had takeaway tonight because he cleaned the stove AND the oven(glass and all) and decided to be nice and not ruin his hard work.

I'm very suspicious though, not entirely sure it's him and not some lizard overlord posing as a human. He's never done this before!! In fact, in his old irresponsible,I have money to burn bachelor days he's been known to buy a new oven rather than clean it. More than once. I ruined him.

So what I have learned is isabelle has all the flour that for the next lockdown (because apparently we are getting rolling lockdowns because we aren't doing this one well enough and MUST DO BETTER), I will need to stockpile the following things:

Flour (obvs)
Toiletpaper
Yeast (thanks princess!)
Spanish Soldiers
Potatoes (to replace all of the above)
And wine, gin, chocolate (what I like to call 'staples')

Don't forget the cheese to replace milk.

Cheesy coffee and cheese and cereal yummm

Pringle
Apparently its to do with the packaging. The suppliers are not used to the demand for flour in supermarkets etc and they dont have enough of the small bags to keep up with the demand. People are buying it up to make cakes etc at home as they are bored and its a good thing to do with the kids (to stop mass murder) One customer today asked me if we had any and she admitted she never bakes usually just wanted something to do.

OOOh yes Princess cheesy coffee just what I crave! Who would have thunk it, cheese replaces milk?

OOOh I poked the bear!

OOOh I poked the bear!

On the exercise thread?

Yes!
I will get a verbal bashing no doubt. I have decided if somebody is big enough to be a dick and be nasty to everyone else just for shits and giggles then they can take it back.

Has anyone thread the ‘I’m ill’ thread? I need a wine. The bit about leaving post in a plastic bag for 72 hours before opening has tipped me over the edge. Cheers all

Well I survived B&M but it ended up being very rushed. I got to the door and the guy went "we close in 15minutes" I replied ok, despite actually wanting to say " well I've been stood outside for 45 minutes, whilst you have let about 1 person in every 5 minutes, despite three times as many coming out." So I ended up running round supermarket dash style.

Anyway had a pleasant chat to a couple of women behind, sterling care workers, and would be very comfy with us here.

Gin. That is all.

I've been watching Supernatural so staying out of trouble. Probably for the best or I'll end up being banned or something if I say exactly what I want to say.