How's the competitive isolation going?

[Borkins]

I've not stepped out of the door even though I'm low on food and starving and I reported a runner to the secret police because they will be breathing their Covid germs all over town and infecting the nurses. The police said it's not scientifically possible to transmit the disease this way but I read it in the Daily Mail so it must be true.

Oh and I forgot to add- I know I only sneezed on the first of Jan but I have definitely had it. 111 said so.

I'm reporting everyone ive seen . Dog walking isn't exercise they dont even have the decency to wear sports gear. And besides every single one of them is maintaining a distance from me and the kids and from eachother so I cant post on face book about how people are being dickheads and how amazing I am for having not left the sofa in 14 days. It's just rude.

We are fulfilling our requirement to stay in whilst tutoring our 6 year old in GCSE French and Mathematics and teaching our 3 year old twins to play the violin.

There is a squirrel in the tree outside my window. I swear it's closer than 2m to the other squirrel in the tree.

I'm fumming..

Quote from another thread today about isolating rule breakers... "on my street I even smelled a BBQ!"

It was probably someone cooking their bloody dinner!

I spent this morning out on the street filming other people out on the street. Don't they know they're killing people, Boris told us to stay at home!!!! I don't count though because I was videoing it ironically.

I'm staying in as I have to. Also meant to keep away from my own kids and dh. And no delivery slots available. I'm not finding it funny.

I normally have a sense of humour btw but this situation is pretty shit.

Oh sorry, it's a lighthearted thread.

I saw someone out 'walking' stop to remove a stone from his shoe. There were no police around, so I did the right thing as a good citizen and implemented public shaming measures, by channelling 1970s remake of Body Snatchers - screaming and pointing. Had the desired result and he moved on sharpish.

I would like to point out I remained in constant motion throughout my intervention. No loitering, never stop moving, be as a shark.

I can hear a tractor in a field nearby. Does anyone know who I can report this to?

I coughed when the window was open. I deserve to be reported to the authorities.

@FaFoutis don't worry you can self flagellate from home now! Do you have your Boris birch?

Why would you report a runner?People are allowed to go out for brief exercise

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irony

my cat went out on a second non-sanctioned exercise break earlier. I bleached the fucker when she came back & gave a stern lecture about killing the NHS.

I had a flock (well 6 ) of starlings pitch up in my back garden whilst I was hanging out the washing. I think the isolation police have trained them because I'm now back indoors and the fuckers are still out there watching.

I saw two foxes outside last night and they didn't look like they were going to a medical appointment or doing essential shopping. I bet the little bastards had been cavorting around all day!

I looked out through my front door peephole this morning and saw the postman about to put an envelope through my letterbox. He was clearly less than 2 metres away from me so I reported him immediately.

Fortunately I'd taken the precaution of keeping a bucket of bleach under the letterbox, so no nasty germs made it into my house.

I’ve become a curtain twitcher. Every time I hear someone outside I rush over to the window and take a peek.

I have fulfilled my daily quota of aesthetic home Ed photos, carefully edited in photoshop for max dreamy effect, and spammed all the groups I'm in.

Ds is now reading war and peace.

I keep busy interrogating people going to stations about whether their journey is really essential. So what if they told me yesterday they were doctors going to work in a hospital, that doesn't necessarily mean they'e doing the same again today.

Loving your work Borkins.

I'm steeping my Boris birch in Dettol before self flagellating.

I have been self isolating since December - way before you spotted it. Beat that.

I gave up on these threads when someone told me that buying pet food was NOT ESSENTIAL and that animals should die of starvation. 😂 I pointed out to these dicks that the reason we are in this mess is because of animal cruelty in the first place and that bodies of dead animals lying round would probably present as a huge hazard to human health in itself.

My local facebook warriers are having fun - Our local bin men are in for it, apparently they were closer than 2 metres together in the lorry...…..Best leave all the rubbish from panic buyers out of date food to fester in the streets for now