I just need a sounding board because I don't trust my own judgement any more and don't want to freak out my family and friends, many of whom are already struggling at this difficult time...
So as not to drip-feed: I'm not very health-anxious and have been coping okay with the Covid-19 situation up till now. We had a case at work very early in proceesinfa and got locked down. Husband is a PS teacher and working this week. We have been reasonably sensible and socially isolated, but of course we're all getting exposure through him!
My dilemma is this: for the last about 4 weeks, I've been really wiped out. Really exhausted, achey, weak. I've also been getting lots of nosebleeds (unusual) and people have been commenting that I look really pale and asking if I lost weight. I've actually lost about a stone, but it may be lack of appetite.
Of course, I looked up my symptoms and got worried 
... so made an appointment with the GP, telephone (natch) and spoke to a GP who I've never seen before, who said this is classic anxiety, everyone is anxious, to practise breathing techniques and mindfulness, etc. He may well be right, but my issue is... I haven't been feeling that anxious. I'm generally quite a day-by-day person and haven't felt this as hard as many others.
I tried the relaxation.. but basically, I'm just concerned it might be more. And I'm now scared that if I wait till I can get a face-to-face, some time in the long and far distant future (!!!) it might be "too late". Blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying.
My GP surgery are saying absolute no face-to-face and they can refer me for IAPTs but it will be a long wait. If I think I need something quicker, I should go to the local hospital Urgent Treatment. And I'm almost at the point where I will go....... but it seems so bloody selfish to go at a time like this?
I just don't know. So please, any thoughts will help!
Yes - Go. The worst that can happen is I'll waste little bit of NHS time and piss off some overworked staff.
No - Don't go. I'm being selfish and ridiculous to contemplate it!
Thx v much à l'avance.
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Covid
How selfish would this be?
Jourdain11 · 24/03/2020 01:15
@Jourdain11 Thank you for updating. I am really glad you went and your doctor called while you were there and is looking at things promptly - you want to be in your best health with this virus going round so for multiple reasons it's good that you went and got it checked out. As a chronic health worrier, I might advise, if you can, staying away from Dr. Google and trying to distract yourself (sounds like you have plenty to do that with keeping up with everything at home) until you get the results. Hand-holding from afar, and sending lots of positive thoughts. 
@agonyauntie2020 thank you so much! I really appreciate everyone's kindness, especially at this very unsettling time... I've banned myself from googling or speculating - I think it is the only way not to go into meltdown and I am trusting that they are on it now, anyway!
Hectic here with lots to think about and organise. Husband has to go to school tomorrow - other staff are sick or isolating, so nobody can step in for him. So we had to figure out what can be done with the kids! Logistical nightmare...... I'm feeling a bit worn out and under the weather, so I'm planning to have a little nap. The kids are overjoyed that daddy is making their meals today: so far they've had chocolate crispy cakes for breakfast, vege burgers and chips for lunch and now they're getting pizza and ice cream for dinner...... 
Not a vegetable has sullied their plates all day!
My GP called up about 6 and said that, based on the results she has (the HIV and Hep etc. all came back neg) she is going to make what she called an "urgent pathway" referral for haematology. Some results aren't back yet (something with antibodies?) but she feels it needs to be looked into quickly. She was also very insistent about the SI which is going to make life tricky, but it is what it needs to be! And I am grateful that they have been so quick and taken so much time and trouble at this moment when everything must be working differently and very stressful.
I am trying not to stress! I just got panicky because I am aching all over my arms and legs and I started to worry, what if it's the corona? Which is stupid, because I've had this aching on and off for weeks. I just need to find some distractions!
(My GP is lovely but quite honest about her reactions. So, "I am going to do this referral straight away because this is really, REALLY worrying!" didn't do loads to allay my worries 
)
Anyway, thank you for listening... I am still worried to tell my friends and extended family. Because what can they do at this time apart from worrying? And I don't want to stress them, especially when it could still be all for nothing. But I do really appreciate your support here, especially when this is for everyone such a hard time
So sorry for telling you to wait a week OP! So glad that you followed your instincts and that they are working to get you some answers ASAP.
Don’t feel guilty about telling a friend or family member if it would help you to talk to someone in real life. A close friend won’t resent you asking for moral support with something like this no matter what else they have going on.
Offering a virtual handhold aswell though
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It's alright, there are many pages and it went a bit off the original course! Very strange to think that I was only posting this yesterday....and that lockdown on started Monday....and that I was in work on Friday. It feels like it has been at least a month.
Thank you for all the handhelds, again, I really REALLY appreciate it. Might talk to a few of my closest friends tomorrow. I feel bad to leave husband and kids in the lurch like this. And I've got a really bad tummy ache which just came on this evening so I'm feeling sorry for myself! I think that actually is anxiety though or all the ultrasound prodding around...
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