I just need a sounding board because I don't trust my own judgement any more and don't want to freak out my family and friends, many of whom are already struggling at this difficult time...
So as not to drip-feed: I'm not very health-anxious and have been coping okay with the Covid-19 situation up till now. We had a case at work very early in proceesinfa and got locked down. Husband is a PS teacher and working this week. We have been reasonably sensible and socially isolated, but of course we're all getting exposure through him!
My dilemma is this: for the last about 4 weeks, I've been really wiped out. Really exhausted, achey, weak. I've also been getting lots of nosebleeds (unusual) and people have been commenting that I look really pale and asking if I lost weight. I've actually lost about a stone, but it may be lack of appetite.
Of course, I looked up my symptoms and got worried 
... so made an appointment with the GP, telephone (natch) and spoke to a GP who I've never seen before, who said this is classic anxiety, everyone is anxious, to practise breathing techniques and mindfulness, etc. He may well be right, but my issue is... I haven't been feeling that anxious. I'm generally quite a day-by-day person and haven't felt this as hard as many others.
I tried the relaxation.. but basically, I'm just concerned it might be more. And I'm now scared that if I wait till I can get a face-to-face, some time in the long and far distant future (!!!) it might be "too late". Blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying.
My GP surgery are saying absolute no face-to-face and they can refer me for IAPTs but it will be a long wait. If I think I need something quicker, I should go to the local hospital Urgent Treatment. And I'm almost at the point where I will go....... but it seems so bloody selfish to go at a time like this?
I just don't know. So please, any thoughts will help!
Yes - Go. The worst that can happen is I'll waste little bit of NHS time and piss off some overworked staff.
No - Don't go. I'm being selfish and ridiculous to contemplate it!
Thx v much à l'avance.
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Covid
How selfish would this be?
Jourdain11 · 24/03/2020 01:15
Hi@Jourdain11, another poster who thinks of you often and is willing you on from the sidelines. Crossing fingers that the chemo is going well and that your DCs are still enjoying quality time with their GPs.
Have you escaped from the hospital’s clutches yet or are they still holding you in their guest facility? 
Hi Jourdain
Was just wondering how you are doing .hope as well as can be expected 
Hi,
I don't know if anyone will see this thread any more, but I wanted to just post a little update. I also wanted to thank you all, who supported me and encouraged me and cheered me up - and gave very good advice! It is a wonderful example of "the kindness of strangers" and I can't thank you enough
Everything is going okay, although it has been a bit of a bumpy ride. I am still on consolidation chemo, although it's much less horrible than the induction and I feel a lot more like myself than I did! My hair even starts to grow back a bit - it's now got to the stage where I look like a convict 😀 And I've even been feeling well enough to go back to work on a couple of days a week.
Sadly though, all this has taken its toll on the family a bit. DH has coped so amazingly well but I do worry that I expect too much from him, etc etc. And DD1 has had some real challenges and hasn't coped well this term. It is very sad and I can't help but feel responsible 
On the positive side, DD2 and DS are very resilient (being that bit younger, less of it sinks in) and DD2 gave a talk for other young kids who have parents going through cancer treatment about her experience, which she did brilliantly (even if it did include a few too many comments like "when mum was in hospital, though, we got to have ice cream for dinner every day and no broccoli at all").
When the dreaded "second wave" arrived I was back into shielding, but to some extent I'd been careful all through the summer and early autumn because especially since having my spleen removed, my immune system is a bit kaput. And so far everything has been okay - amazingly, there hasn't been a single positive case either at DH or the DC's schools. In this part of London, we seem to have got off quite lightly in the second wave (maybe because it was bad during the first?).
Anyway... that's it as far as my little update goes. So I just want to say thanks again and hope that you are all doing okay
Thanks 
Yes, we are hoping to get some help for DD1, everything is a bit slow at the moment because of Covid and she isn't feeling very outgoing at the moment, so it's been a bit of a challenge. DD2 did some sessions online with a group and subsequently some f2f pre lockdown 2, which I think she got a lot out of. But then she is naturally very gregarious and basically just enjoyed having some new people to talk at to!
In a way, I'm quite lucky, in that the whole lockdown and Tiers situation has probably barely changed anything for me. I would have had to be very careful at the moment anyway and when shielding was reintroduced, my team and GP just basically told me to continue with what I was doing because it was working well (i.e. not picking up any germs but also not going insane). I'm missing the chance to see my family in France - but hopefully in the New Year! Assuming that my mother, who went on a protest yesterday, hasn't been arrested and clapped in gaol!
Ahh, that's kind, thank you!
She went to school almost willingly this morning, so that is definitely progress!
I realised today that it's going on for a year since I started this thread - and wow, what a year it has been (for everyone, not just me!).
You all helped me a lot here, from the very starting point, so I am honestly more grateful than I can say.
I've been doing quite well, but have been a bit tired the last couple of weeks and had dodgy blood results today - so it's going to be back for a more thorough check-up asap.
Hope everyone is doing okay
Sorry. Just realised its.an old thread. Off to read it properly now 
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Wishing you well Jourdain11 hope all your blood tests show more normal results next time
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