How selfish would this be?

[Jourdain11]

I just need a sounding board because I don't trust my own judgement any more and don't want to freak out my family and friends, many of whom are already struggling at this difficult time...

So as not to drip-feed: I'm not very health-anxious and have been coping okay with the Covid-19 situation up till now. We had a case at work very early in proceesinfa and got locked down. Husband is a PS teacher and working this week. We have been reasonably sensible and socially isolated, but of course we're all getting exposure through him!

My dilemma is this: for the last about 4 weeks, I've been really wiped out. Really exhausted, achey, weak. I've also been getting lots of nosebleeds (unusual) and people have been commenting that I look really pale and asking if I lost weight. I've actually lost about a stone, but it may be lack of appetite.

Of course, I looked up my symptoms and got worried ... so made an appointment with the GP, telephone (natch) and spoke to a GP who I've never seen before, who said this is classic anxiety, everyone is anxious, to practise breathing techniques and mindfulness, etc. He may well be right, but my issue is... I haven't been feeling that anxious. I'm generally quite a day-by-day person and haven't felt this as hard as many others.

I tried the relaxation.. but basically, I'm just concerned it might be more. And I'm now scared that if I wait till I can get a face-to-face, some time in the long and far distant future (!!!) it might be "too late". Blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying.

My GP surgery are saying absolute no face-to-face and they can refer me for IAPTs but it will be a long wait. If I think I need something quicker, I should go to the local hospital Urgent Treatment. And I'm almost at the point where I will go....... but it seems so bloody selfish to go at a time like this?

I just don't know. So please, any thoughts will help!

Yes - Go. The worst that can happen is I'll waste little bit of NHS time and piss off some overworked staff.

No - Don't go. I'm being selfish and ridiculous to contemplate it!

Thx v much à l'avance.

Another day almost done!

Glad you are comfort reading- that’s the perfect reading for now!

Had a great walk today in the blowy but sunny SW weather. Which meant I fell asleep in front of ‘Quiz’ so I’ve no idea if it is going to be worth watching. So glad you’ve got your iPad.

As a pp said, please let them know if there’s anything at all that you want to ask/need.

I hope you get some sleep- even if it’s an hour here and 20 minutes there. Step by step Jourdain - thinking of you and yours.

I'd love to run a marathon one day! I've done 10Ks and a couple of half marathons, so never say never... I hope!

I had a mega nosebleed in the night. It was quite dramatic and the resolving of it was not the most pleasant experience I've ever been through! Bit of a sore throat now but otherwise a lot better... so fingers crossed that today is going to go smoothly! I don't want to be having complications and delaying, and so on!

Have a good day

Lovely to hear from you @Jourdain11
Whats the weather like with you? Can you enjoy some sunshine?

I don't really have anything to add but didn't want to read and run. You genuinely sound like such a lovely, optimistic person. I have no idea how you're managing to keep in such spirits as I could never cope as well as you do.

I wish you all the very, very best and hope that this period in your life, though difficult, leaves you stronger, happier and wiser by the time it's over. I am certain you will beat this and be back to enjoying life and your family soon.

All the very best @Jourdain11!

I’m due to run the London marathon this year - would have been less than a fortnight away

Shielding has mucked up the training for October a bit, but there’s still time to get plenty of miles in!

So when you’re out and need a running buddy ......

Hope there’s no more weird bleeding and that everything uncomfy settles rapidly!

Poor Jourdain, it's been pouring out at both ends. I hope they both stay shut (nose to tail) from now onwards and you can picture yourself running a marathon when you're through this unpleasantness of your own, and the country is through its unpleasantness too. Have you got a nice window you can look out of?

To the people thinking of picking up a language and OP's husband, Duolingo and Rosetta Stone educational version are free right now (good for practicing vocab etc, not a substitute for a proper class, but they've figured out the dopamine hits for software rewards, at least, according to what I see my kids doing).

Just off to bed after another sunny SW day. I wonder if your in-laws will be home schooling your older DC?

I hope things are easing up a bit.

Thinking of you Jourdain.

I’m thinking of you as well, and hope all is going to plan

Thinking of you @Jourdain11 and your super attitude to all that’s being thrown at you.

Thinking of you jourdain11, hope things are not going to badly for you. You seem like one amazing lady

Hello everyone, thank you so much for helping to keep my spirits up and I'm sorry that I've been slow on replies. Everything has been going to plan and no major complications, so I'm happy Just been having a lot of digestive "excitements" and nothing has really worked to, ahem, calm things down, so eventually they've decided on IV nutrition to give my insides a bit of a rest! Usually this would be my idea of hell, since I adore food - but I've actually never felt less keen on eating in my life, so I am not missing it AT ALL, which is lucky!

It has been really okay here - everyone is lovely and it is really calm and quiet. I'm lucky because the sun has been shining in through my window and I've got a nice view of the residential street beyond the hospital buildings, like a bit of "normal life".

Yesterday was DD1's 8th birthday. It felt so weird not to be with her on the day, but she liked my present - the first Harry Potter book! "Mummy, do you think Voldemort invented the coronavirus and spread it around all the world?"

My own mother has just been on video call. Apparently she has read (in some French gossip column) that the government won't tell the British people if the Queen dies during Coronavirus, because everyone would go out and line the streets and forget to do social distancing! So she wanted to know if I knew whether or not the Queen had died! I hated to break it to her that I would be unlikely to be in on the secret...

(This reminded me of how nuts the French are on the British Royals and also of how, when Princess Diana died, there was constant coverage on the radio and I spent half the day trying to work out what or who - pronounced in the French way "Les DiDi" was!)

Hope everyone is doing okay and thanks again for cheering me up!

Thanks for the update Jordain. Good to know the IV nutrition gives your insides a bit of a rest and you have a nice view of the street. You're doing incredibly well and as brave and optimistic as ever! Feel free to rant as well you know - everything is ok! Many of us here rooting for you and sending you all positive thoughts imaginable.

PS I for one agree with your mum and if you DO happen to hear any inside gossip about the Queen it would be appreciated if you could post it here after you've let your mum know. Thanks.

I’d completely forgotten the LayDeeDee pronunciation!! That takes me back (in a good way)

I bet life is always interesting round your mother!

Sorry to hear about the continuing excitements, and hope the IV break does settle it all down. Glad that hospital is OK apart from that.

I think your DD’s idea of Voldemort as evil corona feeder is a brilliant one!

PS: let me know about HMQ too, thanks

Morning!

Lovely to see your cheerful as ever update. Excellent for your daughter to have started HP. I remember the excitement every time a new one was published .

Really glad your poor old innards are getting a rest and I hope you are getting a rest too.

And it’s really important to be able to see that little peep of normality from your window - well, as normal as anything is at the moment.

We were hoping for a bbq down here in the SW but unless we want to eat it with our coats on I don’t think that’s going to happen!

Today feels a bit ‘odd’ - can’t put my finger on the reason. Unless it’s the shock of cleaning my windows this morning? I never clean my windows!!

Have a restful day. What are you reading at the moment? I’ve just been dusting ( another thing I never do) and came across a favourite childhood book which I think I will read as it’s so comfortingly familiar 😊.

Hi Jourdain - lovely to hear your update. Hope your DD had as good a birthday as possible under the circs! I remember my mum being in hospital on my birthday as a kid. My dad made it extra special for me and I’m sure the GPs did for your DD too! You can have a party once things are back to normal.

Glad to hear they’re sorting your nutrition too. That can be one of the hardest side effects to deal with so bypassing the food issue altogether sounds like a good plan!

How are you keeping busy? Are you a big reader, or need any Netflix recommendations to keep you occupied?

Hello everyone!
Oooh, I would love some Netflix recommendations! I've been re-reading Harry Potter - shamefully, I think I have only read the first four in French because I don't remember it in English, if that makes sense! But I'm pretty sure that DD1 is going to demand to read the rest now and I need to check up to what point they are age-appropriate...! They have been quite a therapeutic re-read but I'd like to watch something new. I've just watched Gentleman Jack on BBC.

I'm "in trouble" for getting too underweight, although there is not much I can do about it now! I'm normally quite thin and I'd already lost about a stone when I got my diagnosis, it seems I have lost another stone, hmm. I got a lecture today about needing to make sure I build myself up over the next few weeks because otherwise I won't be strong enough to cope with the treatment. It makes me sound like a frail declining Victorian heroine, ha, which isn't a persona I've ever really wanted to identify with. If anyone has any tips I will be a grateful recipient! The problem was that, before the IV nutrition, I'd no appetite for anything. The nurse was talking about drinking "Ensure" and I bet they are shakes that taste of fake banana 😄

Been worrying a bit about the family today. DH is stressing because he's just realised that school is "back" on Monday and he hasn't done any planning. DD2 has been upset all day and was crying when we facetimed earlier. DD1 keeps saying that she's got a sore tummy (although my PILs say she is wolfing her food down) and DH thinks it's a situation reaction, but it is disconcerting not just to be able to take her to the GP like one would usually if concerned. In lighter news, DS's hair has now got so long that DD1 put it into bunches! My MIL thought it was hilarious and send some very cute photos.

Hope you are all staying Corona-free and entertained

I recommend Community on Netflix - it’s about a group of people at a community college and has Chevy Chase in it as an inappropriate old guy and Joel McHale who is very easy on the eye - you’re welcome! It’s light hearted comedy and only 20 mins an episode, so easy to fit in when you want a bit of entertainment- plus there’s 6 seasons so it will last you a while if you like it!

If you need a meal replacement drink, I used to quite enjoy the coffee flavoured slim fast cans. (I know you don’t want to lose weight but at 200cals each it’s an easy way to get a bit of nutrition and some calories in a drink.). Tastes like a Frappuccino if you put some ice in it!

Hope your DD is ok - might well just be the disruption to daily life. I used to get tummy ache a lot and there was never a physical reason but often an emotional one. But don’t hesitate to call the GP if it carries on - as you well know, even with things as they are at the moment, they’re still working. Take care

@RUSU92 thank you! I will definitely check l out Community

Hi Jourdain11 👋

I've been checking on you every day :). Life has been a bit mad chez Miles, but now seems to be calming down.

Have you seen Crazy Ex Girlfriend on Netflix? I think it's quite marmite, but I totally, totally love it. It's not what you'd expect from the title.

Can't really help you with the weight thing. It's - ahem - not an area in which I struggle. (I put on two stone when I had chemo. Of course I fucking did). Do you like milkshake? Those Mars milkshakes have about 1,000,000 calories a bottle, I think.

Beautiful day here today - hope the sky is blue where you are.

Hello! I used to really like vanilla complan when I needed to put weight on how I wish that was still the case!. It's best made with milk - if you have a frother it's lovely and smooth.

Netflix depends on what you like! I love titans and I'm planning to watch the next season of The Last Kingdom as bbc don't seem to be showing it. Heard great things about The Crown too. And they have Christopher Eccleston Doctor Who (the best of the new ones!) and that can be partnered well with Torchwood on iplayer.

Hope some of these are of use to you.

Ooh yes, The Crown and Crazy ex girlfriend are two of my faves too. Also The Good Place.

Sadly, I have already watched The Crown! 😄

I was trying to read John Bercow's autobiography this afternoon - I'd started it back in February and ended up abandoning it halfway through because all the Brexity stuff felt so weirdly distant and irrelevant! But I got back into it now. Unfortunately I've been a bit poorly again this afternoon and have just had a batch of bloods taken to check that there is nothing weird going on. I am hoping that my release (or "let out on bail") will still go to plan .

I loved Sons of Anarchy- is that still on there?