How selfish would this be?

[Jourdain11]

I just need a sounding board because I don't trust my own judgement any more and don't want to freak out my family and friends, many of whom are already struggling at this difficult time...

So as not to drip-feed: I'm not very health-anxious and have been coping okay with the Covid-19 situation up till now. We had a case at work very early in proceesinfa and got locked down. Husband is a PS teacher and working this week. We have been reasonably sensible and socially isolated, but of course we're all getting exposure through him!

My dilemma is this: for the last about 4 weeks, I've been really wiped out. Really exhausted, achey, weak. I've also been getting lots of nosebleeds (unusual) and people have been commenting that I look really pale and asking if I lost weight. I've actually lost about a stone, but it may be lack of appetite.

Of course, I looked up my symptoms and got worried ... so made an appointment with the GP, telephone (natch) and spoke to a GP who I've never seen before, who said this is classic anxiety, everyone is anxious, to practise breathing techniques and mindfulness, etc. He may well be right, but my issue is... I haven't been feeling that anxious. I'm generally quite a day-by-day person and haven't felt this as hard as many others.

I tried the relaxation.. but basically, I'm just concerned it might be more. And I'm now scared that if I wait till I can get a face-to-face, some time in the long and far distant future (!!!) it might be "too late". Blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying.

My GP surgery are saying absolute no face-to-face and they can refer me for IAPTs but it will be a long wait. If I think I need something quicker, I should go to the local hospital Urgent Treatment. And I'm almost at the point where I will go....... but it seems so bloody selfish to go at a time like this?

I just don't know. So please, any thoughts will help!

Yes - Go. The worst that can happen is I'll waste little bit of NHS time and piss off some overworked staff.

No - Don't go. I'm being selfish and ridiculous to contemplate it!

Thx v much à l'avance.

Heya, hope everyone is doing okay

Sorry I haven't written earlier. I've been coughing...and coughing...and coughing! It must be bloody irritating for everyone within earshot. It's certainly driving me round the bend!

My lovely GP rung up today, a pro pro of nothing, "just to see how I was getting on". And she said the same as some of you have said: it's normal to get infections during treatment, it happens, and sometimes there's nothing you can do to prevent it.

I fell asleep in the middle of Boris Johnson's briefing today - don't tell him, he might be offended! Actually, I thought I'd already drifted off and had a weird dream that he was talking about Alpine tunnels, but apparently that bit really happened

Yes! It’s all a bit ‘fever dreamlike’ for everyone at the moment @Jourdain11. Lovely to hear from you.

Hoping everything is ok @Jourdain11
I'm worried for you

Ahh, please dont worry about me! I'm doing okay. It is everyone around me you should feel sorry for... being driven mad by my constant coughing and sputtering!

Hi Jourdain11 . Just checking up on you. How are you feeling?

All quiet here. My GP thinks I've had CV19, but I seem to be recovering ok (but very slowly).

Have you got nice, chatty nurses?

Hi @Jourdain11, I found your thread a few days ago and have been quietly willing you on from the sidelines.

Crossing everything that your coughing has subsided and that you’re doing ok (in the scheme of things!)

I’ve seemingly survived COVID a few weeks ago (not tested) and am furloughed so twiddling my fingers at home procrastinating about whether cleaning the cooker is more alluring than the ironing pile.

Like many others I am concerned about you

Sorry that I dropped off this thread for a while - it vanished from TIO and I’ve been a bit useless

Glad to see that things are going well enough, does the pesky cold mean your next round of poisoning has to be postponed?

Hard to believe this is the seventh week behind the shield!

Hope the cough's doing better now Jourdain. Have been thinking of you and hoping you are doing ok.

Hiya, hope everyone is okay - thank you for the messages - and I hope everyone who has been Corona'd has recovered!

I'm doing okay and getting better, but my Round 2 poisoning was indeed delayed and I've got that to look forward to next week now. We're cautiously thinking to maybe bring the DC back once Round 2 and its after effects are done. But plans still a bit up in the air!

My hair is nearly all gone But bizarrely, eyebrows and eyelashes are as yet unaffected! I am happy they haven't bitten the dust yet, but realistically I am not expecting them to survive Round 2.

DC and my in-laws are doing a mega bake for VE Day tomorrow! So far they have made some saffron cake (this is a Cornish thing and they have been known to post it to DH - he's never had the heart to tell them he hates it!), scones, chouquettes and a very large chocolate cake! I hope they are going to share it with others on the street, otherwise they are either going to get fat or sick

Victory baking sounds great!

DD produces cake sometimes, and DS’s signature dish is pulled pork, so I get well catered for from time to time. I hope what your DC learn from DGPs will come back and treat you in years to come

I wanted to see the Red Arrows, but no chance from the back yard. I heard them though
It is strange to go through a year without the right landmarks. No Flower Show, and they’ve just announced no Carnival.

I can’t quite imagine what it’s like to go through active treatment at a time when everything else has gone weird too. But you do sound as if you are bearing up, which is all to the good

We were victory baking too! It was a good distraction.

Sorry to hear your treatment was delayed - very frustrating for you.

How's your cough?

Actually, I think in a funny way it has almost made it easier, the fact that the whole world has gone weird at the same time that my life has gone weird! Although I'm aware that sounds super selfish! I think it is going to feel strange when everyone else goes back to normal and I don't.

I'm doing okay - the cough is still playing up, but I think it is partly my seasonal hayfever! In which case I am not helping myself by keeping windows open, but it is too nice not to.

I was sad about Carnival too

I had to go into hospital (again ) yesterday because I had bad stomach pain and got this randomly swollen stomach which genuinely looked quite alarming! I had a US and it seems like the spleen is still super enlarged. So they are considering taking it out. I am not keen, so I'd rather hang on in there for the moment...

DD2 overdid the cake and fizzy drinks yesterday and also had a stomach ache. We have been empathising with each other via facetime!

Hope you are all doing okay and managing to enjoy the sunshine a bit

they have made some saffron cake (this is a Cornish thing and they have been known to post it to DH - he's never had the heart to tell them he hates it!)

I always find that saffron tastes a bit like the dishcloth from a couple of days ago, when someone uses it to wipe the table or the really scaley taste when the kettle needs descaling! Looks pretty though.

Hope your spleen trouble is sorted out one way or the other. I can see why you want to avoid an op if you can though.

I've been enjoying sitting in the sunshine in my hammock today and DP bought me a huge (3 metre long!) cushion as I've been struggling to get comfy (thyroid medication change due to international postal issues has totally wiped me out and giving me back/shoulder pain) so I've been test-driving it on the sofa the rest of the day. I can thoroughly recommend it if you're finding it tricky to get comfy. It's like a lovely nest

Oooh, thanks for the tip about the pillow - I'm going to look into that! I'm struggling to get comfortable lying down because of the stupid spleen and have to keep rearranging pillows, so that sounds like it could be just the thing!

I though for one horrible moment that the picture was of a cake!

I hope your spleen decides to behave itself and shrink back. When will they start making decisions about it?

I get hay fever too, and was feeling a bit breathless - so really hope it’s pollen not virus (or worse, the leukaemia). I’ve been a bit naughty and gave myself a Bank Holiday shield-breaking treat of walking the dog to a nearby park and back. Not the well known large one, a smaller one that was almost entirely deserted.

I keep reading threads about how busy and crowded everywhere is, but because I go out so infrequently it looks so very empty everywhere!

I hope your cough subsides, and that round 2 (the poison strikes back?) goes ahead as planned.

@iVampire fingers crossed it is the pollen! I've definitely been breathless last few days and I'm sure it is hayfever, so hopefully the same for you.

I hope you enjoyed your breakout walk! From what I see from my confinement, it's busier out, but it doesn't look like hundreds to me! And that's bearing in mind that we are close to a busy street with a lot of small shops, supermarkets and food places doing takeaway!

I'm back at hospital being blood tested today, if all is good then poisoning restarts tomorrow! The plan seems to be to push ahead with the chemo and hope that the spleen decides to shrink. If it doesn't, and if there is any fluid build up, then they will reassess. I really want to hang onto it if possible! At the moment it is mainly just uncomfortable but fingers crossed it will start to behave...

My spleen was only slightly up, and IIRC once you hit the right level of response it subsides really quite quickly

So fingers crossed for good blood results for you, and the right progress from the next round

I think it is pollen, because I’ve taken my temperature a couple of times and I’m normal, the breathlessness is subsiding and nothing else seems wrong.

As they say one of the quinine drugs might have a useful effect, I’ll have a G&T this evening to be on the safe side

Here's hoping! Glad you are temperature free. The g and t definitely sounds like a good idea; one must be sensible and take precautions 😄

Just from interest, when your spleen was up, did you find it really uncomfortable? And was there anything that helped. It's making me feel sooo uncomfy around the middle - the closest thing I can compare to is when you've had a really massive meal and feel like your stomach is about to explode! Or maybe it is just me who does that?

How are you today?

My spleen was only slightly up, and it was mainly a sensation of fullness that came and went. Also I used to get stitch just about every time I ran - I guess larger spleen altered abdominal pressure, like a full stomach would?

Have you gone in got round 2? If it goes according to plan, how long will you be in for?

Hope your week is going ok Jourdain!

I’m hoping that you’ve being successfully poisoned and are recuperating nicely!

Hello! I'm okay, thank you Was supposed to be kicked out at the end of the week, but my stupid spleen is causing problems so I am not sure. But other than that, I haven't actually been feeling as bad as last time - which has to be good news!

Hope you are all doing okay?

Lovely to hear from you @Jourdain11. Are you home? Or at least able to enjoy some sunshine?

Thinking of you @Jourdain11
Post when you can 💞

Hello! Sorry, I was feeling a bit under the weather and generally fed up, so I sort of dropped off here for a while. But I'm doing okay! The really good news is that my spleen has shrunk down a bit, so I'm really hoping that this means the induction treatment has been effective. Will find out soon - please cross your fingers for me!

Hope you are all doing okay