How selfish would this be?

[Jourdain11]

I just need a sounding board because I don't trust my own judgement any more and don't want to freak out my family and friends, many of whom are already struggling at this difficult time...

So as not to drip-feed: I'm not very health-anxious and have been coping okay with the Covid-19 situation up till now. We had a case at work very early in proceesinfa and got locked down. Husband is a PS teacher and working this week. We have been reasonably sensible and socially isolated, but of course we're all getting exposure through him!

My dilemma is this: for the last about 4 weeks, I've been really wiped out. Really exhausted, achey, weak. I've also been getting lots of nosebleeds (unusual) and people have been commenting that I look really pale and asking if I lost weight. I've actually lost about a stone, but it may be lack of appetite.

Of course, I looked up my symptoms and got worried ... so made an appointment with the GP, telephone (natch) and spoke to a GP who I've never seen before, who said this is classic anxiety, everyone is anxious, to practise breathing techniques and mindfulness, etc. He may well be right, but my issue is... I haven't been feeling that anxious. I'm generally quite a day-by-day person and haven't felt this as hard as many others.

I tried the relaxation.. but basically, I'm just concerned it might be more. And I'm now scared that if I wait till I can get a face-to-face, some time in the long and far distant future (!!!) it might be "too late". Blah blah blah. You get what I'm saying.

My GP surgery are saying absolute no face-to-face and they can refer me for IAPTs but it will be a long wait. If I think I need something quicker, I should go to the local hospital Urgent Treatment. And I'm almost at the point where I will go....... but it seems so bloody selfish to go at a time like this?

I just don't know. So please, any thoughts will help!

Yes - Go. The worst that can happen is I'll waste little bit of NHS time and piss off some overworked staff.

No - Don't go. I'm being selfish and ridiculous to contemplate it!

Thx v much à l'avance.

@Bella1407 , you need to start your own thread. Relationships or Chat are probably the best place to put it x

Just read your whole thread Jourdain11 and wanted to post to say you sound very lovely as do your family. I think your sense of humour and positivity shine through and will help you enormously.

I am sorry you got this diagnosis. Bad at any time but so much more complicated now in so many ways.

Thinking of you. Keep,posting here as the support is amazing as you know.

Hope everything is going as well as it can do.

Wishing you the very best in dealing with this. I read the thread last night and you and your family sound lovely. Thank goodness you started the thread and had good advice from sensible posters!

Just read the whole thread, and sending you strength and healing vibes. I am glad your children are having fun with your PIL. Xxx

Thinking of you Jourdain11

Yep - me too.

Really hoping that you’re not overwhelmed by nausea.

Don’t feel any need whatsoever to update if you’re reading this. We will keep on thinking of you 😊

Happy Easter Dear @Jourdain11
🐣
Thinking of you 🤗

Hi everyone Sorry I've been silent for a couple of days... everything is going okay so far, but I had a rough time with the nausea and some other GI excitement, and it took a little while to sort out the right cocktail to calm everything down. I am feeling a bit more human now! Thank you so much for all your lovely messages, which I managed to catch up on some of them during a "good moment" yesterday and really made me smile. I'm feeling a lot better now, so hoping I can continue to post a bit more now.

Hope everyone is okay and wishing you all a Happy Easter - enjoy your chocolate, the plus about lockdown is that there are fewer people you have to share with!

Still thinking of you

Happy Easter Jourdain,
Glad you got the right cocktail to sort out the side effects and hope you manage to have a nice day tomorrow.
Thanks for the updates. Like someone else said, only do them when you want to, don't feel like you have to.
Rooting for you.

Hi jourdain11, came across your post today and didn't want to read and run. You come across as such a lovely mum wife and daughter

If you fancy hair wrapping, there are loads of you tube tutorials on hair wrapping, from simple and easy to all sorts of fancy and intricate wraps. A great resource is wrapunzel who have a Facebook group, with people who wrap for religious, non religious and health reasons too and it's a lovely supportive friendly group.

Hope that helps! Wishing you strength and health xx

Aw bless you @Jourdain11 sending you some Easter love.

I was going to post something about the ‘fight’ too but @Snoooozzze ’s mum said it best With regards to the "fighter" comments my mum had breast cancer and used to get very annoyed when she was told to "keep fighting" etc and said in response to someone's comment once "I'm not fighting it...the chemos doing that! I'm just living" and I always think of that

Let the chemo do it’s work and you just enjoy lazing in the sunshine!

Happy Easter!!

Not exactly the sort of day you’d have planned, and probably not one which you will look back on fondly. But memorable

Glad it’s going pretty much according to plan

How long do you expect to be in with each round?

Lovely to hear from you Jourdain11

My oncology nurse said to me that it's easier to prevent nausea than cure it, so keep popping those pills.

I hope you have a calm, relaxing, restful day, and that you get to have a good chat with your kids

Good to see you Jourdain!

I was advised to drink full fat coke after chemo, but that was quite a while ago and may not be a good suggestion. Seemed to help tho.

Hope you’re having a peaceful time this afternoon and that your little ones have no doubt enjoyed Easter treats with your in-laws.

It’s been grand weather here in the SW so hopefully outdoor stuff for your Easter Bunnies!

@iVampire, 12-14 days, if everything goes well and no complications etc!

I hope everyone had a nice Easter Sunday! I got to speak with the DC and of course DH, which cheered me up. I've still been struggling with the nausea off and on and I got a bit upset yesterday because (too much information alert......) I've had really bad diarrhoea, which has been quite uncomfortable and embarrassing. I got really upset yesterday because nothing seemed to be working and the oncology nurse was so kind and said it happens to a lot of people and not to worry, it will sort out , and so on.

@Izzy24 I've also been told to have sugary fizzy drinks! So I've been trying to sip through sodas as much as I can. My nausea and digestive system seems to have calmed down this morning, so I'm hoping to have a smoother day.

Have a happy Easter Monday "bank holiday" everyone! (some suggestions for the day!)

Glad to hear today has started a little more calmly Jourdain!

I thought the lovely weather had passed when I got up but now the day has really started it’s bright and sunny although there is quite a breeze.

Lots of lovely pictures of Easter egg hunts from our nearest and dearest and I hope your DC had a great time too. I know it’s been said before but children really are very good at living in the moment. How brilliant it is to be able to see them as well as talk to them.

Hope you have an ok day. Did you take books in with you or have you got a kindle?

Thanks for the treats suggestions! I had no idea how much I could long for cake and chocolate!

Omg you are amazing! Your attitude etc and you seem like such a nice person, your children and husband are very lucky to have you. Wishing you all the luck in the world

So this is day 5? Let’s hope that means nearly half way through!

I think I have and chocolate on the ‘to do’ list for today. But the days are beginning to blur into each other a bit (22/84 behind my shield).

I really need to find a new skill/hobby or something to do, but feel a bit devoid of inspiration (not helped that the only things I’ve thought of so far require impossible shopping to get started!)

I’m glad you’re managing to stay in touch with people Jourdain and I do hope everything goes smoothly (and that the GI excitement does not go at all!)

@Jourdain11 I’ve just read through your whole thread. I just want to let you know I was thinking of you and your family.

Just wrote a massively long message and lost it! Grrr!

@Izzy24 I have my Kindle and iPad and plenty of reading and watching material, so I'm pretty well set up... I am just comfort reading, though!

It is very windy here... I can hear it outside! So I bet it's a proper gale in the SW! My children are very weird and love wind and thunderstorms and things. So they'll be happy, at least!

@iVampire I don't know if this is something you'd be remotely interested in, but you could do something like an online language course through the Open University or City Lit? DH has just signed up for one and says he doesn't need to get anything, it's all provided within the course. He has been meaning to learn French properly for years (since we met, basically!) and now he's decided to finally get round to it. And I think there is a kind of social element to it too, as you interact with the teacher and other students. I'm sure that there are also many, non-language, similar courses available...

I spoke to soon about the GI excitements calming down and had an awful hour and a half. But now I am getting some IV superfluids so I will be perked up soon! I hope this is not going to go on forever though! I have such a bad stomach ache and I don't want to complain (again...) since I seem to always be having to ask them for something...!

You really must tell the nurses if you are in discomfort. I am sure they are keen for you to be as comfortable as possible.

In regards to learning a skill I think learning sign language (BSL, Makaton, Signalong). would be useful for anyone. I think there are some online courses and there are signs of the day on Facebook and Twitter.

It’s funny you should mention that Jourdain as I’d looked in to City Lit courses before. Perhaps not languages, but they just have so much else to choose from. I’ll have to see what distance learning they have!

Hope all has settled so you can sleep calmly!

OP just wanted to say a massive good luck to you in this difficult situation. One of my best friends had leukaemia (ALL) in 2015. She was due to run the London marathon this year! (Before it got postponed). This disease IS beatable. Wishing you all the best