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Live alone - no time to move to friend's for lockdown - arghhh

56 replies

VirtualHugsAllRound · 23/03/2020 20:56

How can they bring this in without warning?

For those of us who live alone we are expected to be alone!!
I was supposed to go into lockdown with a friend but logistically can't move their tonight.

I'm technically "vulnerable" but not to coronoavirus. Have autism.

How can they do this with so little notice? I thought we'd get 24 hrs notice at least! Surely I can't be the only person who needs to get somewhere?

Am I missing something? Wasn't watching on TV as iplayer overwhelmed, just radio 4.

OP posts:
CallmeAngelina · 23/03/2020 22:18

Oh don't be so ridiculous, wolfiefan.
Of course she can go first thing in the morning. A few hours won't make any difference. Lots of the rest of us have to get up in the morning and drive to (essential) work and mix with people not of our own households. Needs must.

TerribleCustomerCervix · 23/03/2020 22:19

Easy to say @VirtualHugsAllRound if you’re not immunocompromised or have severe asthma and this virus is likely to kill you.

The OP jumping into her car and driving straight to her mates’ house and hunkering down there for 2 weeks to follow the new isolation guidelines won’t be risking those people.

Especially as I’m guessing since she’s so worried about breaking these new rules, she’s probably already been following the previous guidelines about limiting her exposure to the virus, so she’s unlikely to be a vector.

SinglePringle · 23/03/2020 22:19

I live alone. I don’t relish spending the next 3 weeks (minimum) on my own but needs must - you move to another house, you are risking sharing the virus.

When was the last time you saw a PM address the entire nation over every single broadcaster? War. That was when.

Stay home. The message could not be any clearer.

Wolfiefan · 23/03/2020 22:19

No one said it’s a joke.
And you probably wouldn’t die.
But I would.
And my mother.
And then both my kids could be suicidal.
You need to find ways of complying and safeguarding your MH at the same time.
Stay home.
Use tech.
Phone.
Get out safely to exercise.

BillieEilish · 23/03/2020 22:25

So many people on here already saying it doesn't apply to them, it's amazing.

NeutralJanet · 23/03/2020 22:27

The OP jumping into her car and driving straight to her mates’ house and hunkering down there for 2 weeks to follow the new isolation guidelines won’t be risking those people

OP doesn't have a car so that would be yet another person involved in transporting her around. Just stay at home OP.

Voice0fReason · 23/03/2020 22:40

Get yourself moved in the morning. It will be fine.
People are allowed to go out to provide care for people who need it. The OP clearly needs care.

VirtualHugsAllRound · 23/03/2020 22:45

Friend was going to help move stuff but it'd take at least two journeys. She doesn't seem to understand the urgency of the situation so I'm screwed. She seems to think I'd be able to randomly go in a couple of weeks under the care allowances... not taking in that even if that were the case, we won't be able to go back and forth moving stuff.

Not having my own family is now more awful than ever.

OP posts:
NotEverythingIsBlackandwhite · 23/03/2020 22:49

You and your friend will be putting each other at risk. You have been instructed to stay at home and only go out in very limited circumstances. Your circumstances are not one of those allowed.

freda123 · 23/03/2020 22:49

I'm moving house tomorow so I have no idea what the hell will happen! Most of my furniture is already there so technically I'm returning home? Argh it's a nightmare!

maddy68 · 23/03/2020 22:54

You can go tomorrow

Thisisworsethananticpated · 23/03/2020 22:54

Just get to your friends
Everyone baiting you will I am sure have their own essential trips to make
Stay safe

AquaBlue4 · 23/03/2020 23:34

I'm the same OP, I'm autistic and have 2DC who are also autistic. I'm beside myself worrying my DM said that DF is coming to get us in the morning. I wouldn't cope otherwise.

NewName54321 · 23/03/2020 23:43

You are vulnerable and the instructions allow people to leave their house to help those who are vulnerable.

Your friend can come and get you.

What they/ you can't do is travel backwards and forwards several times (once is essential, the second and subsequent times are unnecessary), so you need to only take with you what fits into their car.

VirtualHugsAllRound · 24/03/2020 00:04

you need to only take with you what fits into their car.

Yes this is the problem. Because of the rabbits and needing to transport cage etc. We can't do it in one journey.

I'm basically on my own for god knows how long now.

OP posts:
Winter2020 · 24/03/2020 00:14

"Yes this is the problem. Because of the rabbits and needing to transport cage etc. We can't do it in one journey.
I'm basically on my own for god knows how long now."
As you and your friend will be living together from then what difference will it make if you do more than one journey together in the car? Just do what you need to do. If you need fuel go to a pay at pump and you needn't see anybody else.

Costacoffeeplease · 24/03/2020 00:31

It was inevitable this was coming, it’s a shame you didn’t move at the weekend. I’m not really sure why you expected 48 hours notice, given the Italian exodus to their holiday homes which contributed to the huge numbers of infections and deaths in the country. This is exactly why there has been no warning

RUSU92 · 24/03/2020 00:40

How can they do this with so little notice? I thought we'd get 24 hrs notice at least! Surely I can't be the only person who needs to get somewhere?

That's exactly why they couldn't give notice, so that everyone would pack up and move to somewhere more picturesque or comfortable, rather than where they actually live. This is what happened in Italy, everyone flocked to the coast etc and took the disease with them.

I'm really sorry you're struggling with being alone and of course if it will really make you suicidal to be so, then you'll have to take the risk and go in the morning.

But 3 weeks really isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things. You can spend some time learning something new - I've got the DuoLingo app to learn Italian. You can read, watch Netflix, spend time with your rabbits, do some housework. It will be done before you know it. And at least you'll know you're 100% safe if you're alone.

Can you get some emotional support from your friend without having to actually be there? Facetime etc.

I won't be able to see my partner for 3 weeks. I'm not alone as I have 3 DCs but I will struggle having them here all the time as I usually get a lot of alone time! We all have to muddle through the best we can. Hope you stay well whatever you decide.

Couchbettato · 24/03/2020 01:12

I feel for you OP, I spend most of my time isolated. I'm on month 11 of my maternity leave, my partner works extra longs and overtime, and is a key worker. I've battled postnatal depression and horrible intrusive thoughts every day.

But moving would be selfish. And not for the right reasons. You are putting your friend at risk. Your friend is putting you at risk.

There are too many people thinking they've got special exemptions that trump the good of every one else.

The more car journeys you do, the more you increase your risk of a road traffic accident. I agree, the risk is slim, but it's a risk that isn't needed when our ICU beds are taken up by people suffering from COVID. If you took up a bed, someone else wouldn't be treated.

If you or your friend catch COVID from being in close proximity to each other when it could have been avoided, that's a doctor having to make a life or death decision with someone else.

It's not about just you. You need to find other ways of managing your mental health. We live in the 21st century, we have phones with cameras and laptops and the internet which allows us to connect to people through text, voice, video and through games. We have forums of like-minded individuals. We have photos. We have letters. We have email.

There are so many ways to stay in touch with other people without being near them. Your journey is not essential and it could cost the lives of others.

Consider it as risky as driving without your seatbelt on. Unlikely to cause any issues but it will be one clusterfuck if something were to happen.

LiquoricePickle · 24/03/2020 01:23

It's fine. Move tomorrow. Do two trips and take the rabbits. Breathe.

You can do it .

tryingtoprep · 24/03/2020 01:27

Could your friend come and stay with you instead? Get to you in one single journey? Does it help to think that with the internet you're never completely alone. There's always someone to talk to here or other forums. There's facetime or Skype or WhatsApp video calls, free online courses, box sets and films to stream. You also have the company of your lovely rabbits.

VirtualHugsAllRound · 24/03/2020 02:08

Thanks.
Friend is being so bizarre about this I think it might not be a good idea to be confined together...
Looks like I'm staying put.

A very dear friend called around midnight, which was really helpful.

I have plenty to do - I'm quite accustomed to spending time on projects alone. I already work out mainly at home. I have nice friends and family I can talk to.

It's just... not feeling the touch of another human for potentially months. I'm a very huggy person. It's huge. I already really hugely struggle with the fact I haven't a family of my own (and time running out) and it's sharply in focus right now - especially as wider family are all partnered up/have DC.

It's really hard to explain. I can happily spend hours pottering alone but equally vital is the interspersed human contact.

Holding onto the thought of that first hug when this is all over...

OP posts:
Herja · 24/03/2020 02:16

Could your friend come to you instead OP? If there is too much to move in one trip, could that be an option?

Herja · 24/03/2020 02:18

Should have RTFT, sorry OP

RedTeam · 24/03/2020 02:22

Hi OP it’s such a tricky time ahead as it is all unknown. I too am waiting for the first hug with people I care about that I don’t live with.

Have a hug from me.

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