Predictions of how long this BS will last?

[BlueMoon1103]

I really need some lights the end of the tunnel. I know no one knows for sure but how long do people predict this social distancing bullshit is going to go on for? My depression has already crept back in and I’m worried about how bad it’ll get if this goes on with no end in sight.

Please only nice posters, no snarky, snipey comments or people being mean.

Bullshit means false/not true/nonsense/deceitful so the way you've phrased your OP makes it seem like you feel social distancing is nonsense.

Only if you fixate on that one word rather than the rest of the OP - never mind the rest of the thread - OP is a key worker and is quite clearly complying with the social distancing regime!

OP, sympathies - it is shit. I have no idea how long it will last tbh - nor do the competitive pessimists who insist you have to reconcile yourself to 18 months of this. 🙄

7yo DS and I are making a list of enjoyable stuff to do while social distancing applies, if we end up in lockdown etc. Very relaxed, “we might not get around to doing all these things” type ideas. I’m also making a list of things I want to do when we’re free again, but I haven’t dwelt on that one so much with DS - seems emotionally a bit riskier.

You can know you’re relatively lucky compared to many and still struggle with your MH - it’s a hell of a burden especially with limited emotional support around you.

The OP was very clear she didn’t want nasty comments. If you can’t respond in a sympathetic way, why not just don’t post at all. Depression and anxiety will be heightened dramatically for some people so try to be kind.

I understand. I have a baby of similar age and have bad postnatal depression. Depression is real, depression kills people just as dead as viruses (via suicides). Maybe we need a thread on Mumsnet for depressed mums to support each other through this.

Only if you fixate on that one word rather than the rest of the OP

In context it still reads that way. It may explain why some posters have perhaps misunderstood the OP because of this particular phrasing and been less kind.

Thank you to all the above posters for your understanding. Those who aren’t being very nice I’m ignoring.

I agree the thread for depressed mums might be a lifeline.

I had been wondering about starting a thread for depressed mums, then saw @BlueMoon1103 's thread and didn't want to duplicate. I'm in, if it's any use. My DC are 16 and 18, but please don't disregard me. They were both supposed to be doing public exams this summer but we are now all stuck inside together, in a house the size of a small tent. Their father is self-isolating because he's a selfish sod so they can't stay with him. So it's just the three of us.

I have had intervention from the Crisis team, btw. I have been very, very severely depressed. I left abusive XH, was homeless for a while, etc. I was in a very, very bad place.

I am heading back there if things continue in this way.

We could start a new one? @TotorosFurryBehind and @Thripp you’d be more than welcome, you’re still a mum!

Thank you, @BlueMoon1103 I feel very isolated and would be grateful.

I struggle with depression too, OP. I'm working from home, so not really leaving the house at all, except for the odd walk/emergency groceries.

My main focus at the moment is on how I can promote positive mental and physical health during this difficult period. These are some of the things that I'm doing.

• I'm trying to get outside in the garden as much possible, to get fresh air and a change of scene. Still going for walks while I'm allowed to do so!

• Trying to stay connected to friends and family via whatsapp groups, Skype, facetime etc.

• Ensuring that I get some daily exercise, mostly aerobics and/or stretching.

• Meditating for at least 20 minutes daily, and trying to focus on the things that I'm grateful for.

• Trying to think about the positives (more time to sort out the house, time to get fit, will learn to appreciate the things that I usually take for granted etc).

We can't control the situation, but we can control our response. I'm trying to ensure that I'm responding as positively and proactively as possible. I can't allow myself to go under!

Take care, OP, and be kind to yourself. You will get through this.

@Thripp www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3857880-Thread-for-parents-struggling-with-their-mental-health?watched=1
Here’s the thread if you want to jump on.

Thanks @AlexaShutUp, I’ve tried loads of those things before and the big thing for me would be getting out and about as that’s how I keep myself functioning.

Yeah, me too, OP, I do sympathise. The problem is, we can't do that at the moment, so we just have to channel all of energies into the little things that we can do that might make a difference. It's crap but the only option. And I am determined that I'm not going to let this thing sink me.

As it stands I am still going for walks at the beach and in nature and I don’t intend to stop. We are actually advised to do this for physical and mental health as long as we keep a safe distance from others.

Sadly the ‘little things’ you do to channel don’t work for me. I’m really pleased they work for you though.

I’m very resigned to the fact that I’m sinking and there’s nothing I can do.

Bluemoon, you are writing my posts for me. Nothing works for me, other than going out, seeing people, and getting on with my normal life.

I, too, am sinking. I'm going to look at the other thread, thought.

^Though, not thought!

I know this is not what you want to hear but calling this situation BS is already put you in the wrong mindframe...

This is a time we can grow and change... try to make the most of it... books to read... movies to watch... music to listen... learn a new thing... speak to people you havent spoken to.... do something you put off for a long time.... cook something you like ...

It is difficult but lets be honest time alone isnt always wasted.... and with so much ways to communicate with outside world... none of us is really alone ever....

People who are depressed, or who might sink into this, don't work this way, Papoy.

I read, incessantly. I play three instruments. I speak four languages. I exercise (or did, pre-injury). I sew. I write. I speak to friends daily, or see them. I listen to Radio 3 and Radio 4 all the time. I am not short of nice stuff to do.

But I don't want to do those things 24/7, because I do them anyway, as part of a rich and varied life. Not as part of an existence in which the walls are closing in on me, and in which I can't see some of the people I love and am forced to spend too much time with the other people I love, but whom I don't need to see every minute of every day (namely my adult or nearly adult children). It isn't healthy for us. They should be out seeing their friends and doing their own thing. I do things with them, obviously, but that isn't and shouldn't be their life.

I was just about ok before all this came along. Now I'm not.

We are planning for four months minimum. We’re on lockdown here, borders closed and virtually no flights. DH went back to UK to be with the DC. I think I’ll be lucky if we can all be together before August. And the chances of me going mad by then are quite high.

It’ll peak here in two to three weeks time (so early April) and things will start to get better after that.

@BlueMoon1103 I just want to say I get it and it’s ok to be angry at this fucking shit situation. Getting out and connecting with people are what help with my depression and anxiety too.

And I am also getting very fucked off at the folk saying learn a new skill, read, meditate etc. I will be working from home with a really, really full on two year old. My commute into work (I work 3 days) is sacred to me because that’s when I read. My lunchtimes are when I go to the gym. Work is my socialising because even now my DS will only go to sleep for me and nobody else. So this is not an opportunity for more reading and exercise - it’s the loss of those things.

I hate to see people telling you to suck it up and become more resilient, as if depression just works like that. What I am doing to get through this is getting fresh air as much as I can and telling myself again and again that this is temporary. It will pass. from my misfiring synapses to yours.

Thank you @Thripp, yes our brains seem to work in very similar ways!

@AgentCooper precisely, I am a single mum to a 1 year old so absolutely NOT an opportunity for relaxing and ‘growing’, more trying to stop him crying because he’s bored and you’re right, depression doesn’t work how some posters seem to think it does, as if just trying a bit harder will make it go away. I also sew, read etc and speak another language, however now I don’t have the time or motivation for these and certainly don’t have the time.

Oh I agree I hate all those positivity posts about reading more books, learning a new skill at home, catching up on Netflix. It's not some giant Christmas holiday..... it's a fucking shit situation. You do all those things as part of a varied and balanced life and absolutely no chance to binge watch Netflix with a small baby and a 4 year old who has been robbed of his schooling. All because of the blind eye turned to those horrific wet markets in China....... disgusting and yes I am angry, I've seen enough evidence on how viruses are born to wonder HOW ON EARTH those places are able to be in existence???

I hate to see people telling you to suck it up and become more resilient

I hate the word resilience full stop. According to most mental health professionals I've encountered, I'm very resilient due to trauma. As far as I can tell, it's a word they throw out when for whatever reason you've managed to stay alive following shit things happening to you. In my case that's as much to do with me being rubbish at killing myself, than any "resilience".