Anyone else's Parents swanning about as if they are immortal?

[Namechange2020onceagain]

Just had a chat with my Mum, she then asked if I want anything from B&Q as they are popping in there tomorrow! This is after they went shopping to Sainsburys this morning and then said they are going again on Friday.

I have said I will get any shopping they need, but they keep going out.

FFS they are both over 70 and my Dad will die if he gets the virus. They are not taking it seriously at all.

So true @Bintheredunthat
Best wishes to you and your family

I actually think there’s an element of burying their heads in the sand here. Older / health-compromised people aren’t stupid - they know they’re going to be at the bottom of the pile for icu treatment when the pandemic really hits the NHS. I think a lot of them (my dad included and he’s not over 70) are actually terrified they will catch it and will die. The media has a duty here to either publish the true mortality figures (or caveat them) because even amongst the high risk / older groups the mortality rate is still nowhere near as high as the flu. Italy’s health system can’t cope which is why they stopped treating the elderly but even then more people are surviving and fully recovering (without treatment) then dying.

My dad’s in a care home now which is worrying of course because it would go through there like wildfire but not a chance would he have self isolated - he would have been out and about help the ‘elderly folks’ with their shopping. He’s 93.
I think that generation just have a different attitude to risk - pre-NHS, growing up when polio, TB, whooping cough and diphtheria were still real risks. They only expected to get ‘three-score years and 10’ so actually getting beyond 70 means they think they’re invincible.

She's had her flu jab so she's fine

Can’t believe some people are so thick!

I was in my local town today, optician appt, it was quiet but not empty and most of the people were of the older generation. All looking quite cheerful, doing their shopping, chatting, drinking tea. Hadn't a care in the world!

I’m guessing many, not all, old people realise they will die soon anyway, so aren’t so worried by it. If Coronavirus doesn’t get them something else quite soon.

My Grandad (97) rang my Mum (78) to check on her!! Mum had been self isolating as she had been feeling poorly. Grandad had been to the supermarket and topped up his ready meals and essentials. He is so un phased by this but I understand, he has lived through so much horror that for him this is an inconvenience

It would destroy my dad's mental health to isolate for 3 months. Not happening and I understand why. not in Britain so not NHS problem

@Delatron
they need locking down!!

The pubs or the parents ?

Ok here’s a perspective from someone who is actually in the vulnerable age range - me. I’m 76, fit, healthy, active, not on any meds and I am isolating myself. Not because I want to live forever. I don’t think I am I immortal or have a force field round me and I would not be overly worried if I carked it tomorrow.

What is making me isolate are the following:
My adult children love me and want me around a bit longer;
I love them and don’t want to cause them unnecessary worry or premature grief;
I don’t want to cause a younger person to miss out on a ventilator or other treatment because I have been too selfish to think of the consequences of my actions;
Plus it sounds like a pretty horrible way to die!

I understand why some older people take the quality over quantity attitude to life as we age and in normal times I would agree. But, these are not normal times.

For worried children I would suggest that emphasising how heartbreaking it would be to lose their beloved parents (assuming they are beloved of course) might be a better strategy than nagging them over the risks they are running, because the risk/benefit analysis alters as you become older.

Good luck all you exasperated children!

Not sure if anyone has posted this but here is the guidance for social distancing. It is pretty black and white so might be useful to share with the vulnerable people in your life (though no SPECIFIC mention of not going to the supermarket that I can see).

www.gov.uk/government/publications/covid-19-guidance-on-social-distancing-and-for-vulnerable-people/guidance-on-social-distancing-for-everyone-in-the-uk-and-protecting-older-people-and-vulnerable-adults

My mum is playing bridge tomorrow, my dad is going bowling. They're 76 and 78. They went to the supermarket and panic bought wine. Fgs

My mum 76 off to her holiday house her word's "self isolating in car and cottage wearing gloves will do same when I get home" whilst wearing gloves touching her face and saying u can wash and reuse them

Yes, OP, she would do shopping for us. However, my DH was desperate to have a drive and a wander around the supermarket for a few bits.

You know who else is desperate for that?

Me. At home. With two young kids.

You know what I’m not doing? Going out.

What is even the point of socially distancing to protect the over 70s at this point? Do they want to be protected?

I’m sorry, but this drives me mad.

But yet, my generation is full of snowflakes who only think of themselves 🤯🤯🤯

I think a lot of people are in denial.

It’s an invisible enemy and people can’t come to grips with the fact that it’s serious.

I have been working from home since yesterday and my dd is off schools now. We are going to be super careful and avoid other people. I popped out briefly today to pick something up and was rather disconcerted by the number of elderly people out and about as if nothing was going on...

Not sure what all these terrible events are that the old folk have lived through. I'm 70, this is the worst crisis I've ever seen.

I expect to be staying at home for a very long time, anyone who thinks it will only be 12 weeks is deluded. It's difficult but essential.

@Lynda07 I wish I was,my sister and my mum's friend has gone too and his copd is even further advanced than hers,all I'm getting from her is"I'm sure I've already had it Xmas time"
she's the only parent I and siblings have,no grandparents or aunts uncles left,She's also my sister's carer (bipolar)
She's been on steroids 3 times in the last 2 months too,I'm not ready to lose my mum!!!
I've tried scare tactics,begged her to think about how her death would affect us all,it's like she's deaf to it all.f
Meanwhile my dc are asking when they can see their nan because it's been just over a week and they miss her already.forever will be so much longer 😞

I think it's because they have lived through worse and the great british reserve kicks in.. I'm only nearly 58 and in between fuss over something that's killed less people than the flu or am I being calm when I should be really panicking. I was thinking today that tears ago fish and chip shops used to take donations of newspaper from folks and then wrap peoples fish and chips up in it ( today folks would be horrified). My disabled dd went to Bluewater today in her wheelchair had lunch with her friend and said it was fab because it was 'like a ghost town'. All the time we have no cv symptoms we'll go about our normal everyday business but obviously with extra precautions.

My parents are overseas, but having exactly the same head shaking with mother and father in law.

Today, they went shopping and have been out to a restaurant tonight. It's some misplaced guilt at not wanting this restaurant to struggle because they like the owner.

DH and I have been social distancing and working from home for nearly a week now, which feels like a complete waste of time as we have to rely on inlaws to look after DS and they're exposing him to everything as before.

@salsmum...you know you can have it, and spread it without symptoms, right?

Nothing much to add but yes OP. Absolutely they're not going to change anything, sod the rules because only 70+ with diabetes and hypertension and a weak chest need to pay attention. Even though THEY ARE ALL THE THINGS. I suppose as you get old you just get belligerent or ambivalent and think feck it.

@Derbygerbil I’m guessing many, not all, old people realise they will die soon anyway, so aren’t so worried by it. If Coronavirus doesn’t get them something else quite soon

That's exactly what my Dad said! But, he's being sensible and is self-
isolating now, letting his neighbours help out. He did say that he'll go to the local shop if he really needs to, but I'm hoping he doesn't (I'm in another country so can't help). I think he'll let it take him if he gets it, though.

Everyone needs to do their bit and practice “social distancing “, not just the over 70s.
People need to stop attacking and blaming certain groups of society...we are all in this together and need to take personal responsibility.

Yep,

84 with a list of the health problems that put him at high risk, including COPD. Telling me he's doing any shopping at quiet times of day, doing his walks away from people etc.

He then goes awol on Sunday evening. Monday he's telling me he was at a great "shutting the pubs down party" & the whole town was out for one last blow out & it was great, just like after the war😫