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To feel upset about holidays

391 replies

MadameBee · 15/03/2020 22:29

I know this is really selfish and entitled but is anyone else feeling a bit devastated that their holiday is probably totally fucked this year?

Due to go to Spain (Benidorm!) in 8 weeks and it’s looking very unlikely.

😭😭😭😭

OP posts:
Theresnobslikeshowb · 16/03/2020 08:45

Holidays can be re-booked. Lives can’t be re-saved. Dc was off to Canada, now not. Gutted? Absolutely. But in the grand scheme of things, it’s nothing, we have bigger things to worry about, like if you and your family have to self isolate, are you getting full pay? If not, what back up do you have to pay the mortgage, bills etc. Personally I think that’s more ‘gutting’ that not being away 🤷🏻‍♀️

FearlessSwiftie · 16/03/2020 08:46

Of course you have every right to feel upset about it! Holidays are the times to look forward to, they take a lot of planning and it is natural to be upset if your plans just being thrown out of the window.

CamillaBeauchamp · 16/03/2020 08:47

I think you are not seeing this in the right perspective - this has the potential to devastate. Staying alive is what is important not holidays

AmelieTaylor · 16/03/2020 08:51

it doesn’t make me a bad person because I want to still be able to buy skirts that suit me after all this has ended.

No it doesn’t make you a bad person, but TRY to appreciate that it makes you a fortunate person. You’re so sure you’ll live through this that you can afford to think about things like that.

TRY to appreciate being in that position.

New shops, new shows, new travel opportunities will emerge, for those lucky enough to still be alive.

I’m not trying to sound like Pollyanna, & I wish I could have appreciated that more myself before now

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe · 16/03/2020 08:52

Whetam, you remind me of Lord HawHaw. Why do you feel the need to do this on a thread where people - having accepted that things are shit now - just wanted somewhere to express their disappointment?

Pathetic. You and the Holly one could start your own doom and gloom thread to bring the country down even further. Hmm

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 16/03/2020 08:53

I am worried about vulnerable people, including those in my family.
I think lives lost so far is tragic. I especially feel for the Chinese whistleblower who succumbed.
I am worried about livelihoods being lost and the long term impact of recession.
I hate that this thing brings out the worst in people.
I am also gutted at missing out on my holiday.
It is possible to feel all of these things.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2020 08:56

I have emotional depth and breadth

You absolutely don't.

but can keep things in perspective and prioritise what's important in life.

And this proves it. You are unable to grasp that people can be upset about their holiday and keep things in perspective. It's quite sad really.

catsmother · 16/03/2020 08:58

Most people enjoy and look forward to holidays. They're fun, exciting, relaxing, a chance to recharge your batteries, something to look forward to etc. That goes without saying. And obviously whenever anything good you've been anticipating is cancelled for reasons beyond anyone's control it's disappointing.

I also appreciate that some people facing this issue will have had tough times recently and/or will have been indulging themselves in a very rare treat.

However, some perspective is required here. For anyone who has regular holidays you have a memory bank of positive experiences to look back upon. Please bear in mind that this isn't the case for many for whom holidays are at best a very distant and occasional memory, or, at worst, a pipe dream entirely beyond their reality. People who also work hard but have the misfortune to be in extremely low paid work which doesn't allow for anything non essential. Those in that situation haven't had anything to look forward to for years, and rarely if ever get the opportunity to recharge. This is especially true for those caught up in the (typically) low paid gig economy (and not usually by choice) who don't get paid if they don't work (for holiday or sickness) and who don't earn enough, even with scrimping and sacrifices, to put money aside for such considerations let alone purchase income protection policies. It is entirely usual for gig economy workers to be working seven days a week because they have no security of guaranteed hours so grab work wherever they can. Even a weekend off that most take for granted is uncommon. They never get the chance to switch off even for a day because they're always thinking about the next day's hours.

I understand people's disappointment. This is a natural human response. And of course sympathise with anyone who ends up losing money. There are, however, a number of people on this thread (and elsewhere) who'll potentially be able to postpone their travel until it is considered safe to do so. In that respect, despite their current disappointment and wider concerns about society's health, there is still a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel and, who knows, holding onto that thought could be instrumental in helping them get through the stresses of the months to come.

Please spare a thought for the significant numbers who don't even have that glimmer of hope and normality to cling to. They will be just as worried about the 'big' implications of Covid19 as 'you' are but without a goal/treat/reward to concentrate upon when 'it's all over'. I know which group I'd rather be in, and which group I have most concern and sympathy for. I strongly suspect that the adverse psychological affect of all this will disproportionately affect lower income, less privileged groups. That's not to say I lack general sympathy for anyone but can't help feeling..... well..... perspective people, please.

Icecreamdiva · 16/03/2020 09:01

We are meant to be going to Budapest in 7 weeks but now I don’t think it will happen. I’m hoping the airline cancels the flight so we aren’t out of pocket but really, it’s the least of my concerns right now.

MadameBee · 16/03/2020 09:02

I do have perspective, I stated that in my OP (which was in paragraphs).

OP posts:
chocolatesaltyballs22 · 16/03/2020 09:04

Someone had a go at me at a party on Saturday night for daring to be disappointed about my Easter holiday. Of course we are entitled to be disappointed that we won't get to have some much needed down time which we have saved hard for. I suspect some of you who are being uber-vertuous don't have anything booked but anyway...

I genuinely don't know what to do about mine - due to go over Easter to Cape Verde. TUI haven't cancelled, and travel advice says that they have introduced temperature checks at the airport.

Chista · 16/03/2020 09:06

We are disappointed too that we may not get to go on our holiday in May. That doesn't mean we don't care about this pandemic. I am with you OP, we have been through a lot in the last 1.5 years and this would have been a perfect break for us

McCanne · 16/03/2020 09:06

Yes, we were due to go away at the beginning of May and my wee girl was so excited. After speaking with the travel company we rebooked for later in the year so it’s not too bad. But yes, we’re gutted. I’m not going be shamed for that and neither should you. It’s not selfish or entitled, you’re allowed to feel disappointment. The good thing about being human is that we can feel and acknowledge several things at one time.

Canshopwillshop · 16/03/2020 09:06

@catsmother - just because people are disappointed about wrecked holiday plans doesn’t mean they don’t spare a thought for anyone else. I think that has been said many times on here.

TippledPink · 16/03/2020 09:09

@fuzzyduck1 Someone on this thread has said Thailand is on a 14 day quarantine- are you sure you are going?

Tulipstulips · 16/03/2020 09:11

it doesn’t make you a bad person, but TRY to appreciate that it makes you a fortunate person. You’re so sure you’ll live through this that you can afford to think about things like that

Did you read my post directly under the one you quoted? I have said how worried I am about the more serious issues too.

I have a very rare genetic condition that I have no idea whether it will make me more susceptible, as it happens - I’m not confidence at all that I’ll get through this alive, but if I do, I want to have my skirts. And I’d rather worry about that than worry about dying and leaving my DC orphaned.

Branleuse · 16/03/2020 09:13

I am disappointed that not only are holidays likely cancelled, but that we are unlikely to be able to go out and enjoy things much at home. It feels so doom and gloom. Getting out and about, seeing friends and getting away here and there is what keeps my mental health ticking over.
Im ok at the moment but on the other hand, we are all in it together

WrongKindOfFace · 16/03/2020 09:13

Obviously it’s a first world issue and I’d sacrifice my holiday for the health and well-being of all, but is is a bit disappointing. Won’t be able to have another one this year (OH can’t book any other weeks off in school holidays) and unlikely to get much (any?) money back.

That said, I know someone who has just gone on holiday and is currently stuck in their apartment and not allowed out due to one of them being ill. And they’re not sure when they’ll be able to fly back. That sounds rather shittier.

SoupDragon · 16/03/2020 09:13

Please spare a thought for the significant numbers who don't even have that glimmer of hope and normality to cling to.

You know people can do that as well as be disappointed about their own personal stuff?

Hopeisnotastrategy · 16/03/2020 09:15

Sympathy for all whose plans are being cancelled, yes it’s disappointing, amidst everything else that’s going on.

The way things are going most people will get their money back because companies and airlines won’t be able to deliver what they promised. Please don’t assume you won’t necessarily get your money back, do check. Money saving expert is excellent for stuff like this and there are many wise posters on the forums there who will assist you if you’re not sure.

Soon most people in the UK will unfortunately have a lot of enforced leisure time they weren’t expecting, maybe use that time to make future plans. A PP was right, it is important to have things on the horizon to look forward to, and perhaps never more so than now.

A thought - maybe the better off members of mumsnet could consider booking holidays for the end of this year, early next year now, to support the travel industry? Obviously use a credit card to book it for added protection if the trip should not go ahead.

Finally, if it’s any scant consolation, the weather out here in Spain this week is going to be poor.

HPFA · 16/03/2020 09:27

I have Eurostar tickets booked for August as part of a planned two week visit to Italy.

In May will have to decide whether to buy other train tickets or just accept it's not going to happen.

Ironically I suspect by then the Italian situation will be under control by then but people from "herd immunity" Britain won't be allowed in.

thecatsthecats · 16/03/2020 09:27

Ok, if people are insistent on being worried about dying, how about this.

My sister is having self harming impulses. My best friend is going through severe mental health difficulties whilst planning her wedding.

Both of them could really do with a nice holiday - not as a cure, but as a relief from very difficult lives at the moment. I'm worried sick about them. Both do very valuable jobs to society. Neither is in a vulnerable group health wise.

I'm worried about them and the effect the additional stress and anxiety is having on them. My sister and I were really looking forward to an event together that was giving her a boost. My friend was having issues with stress and guilt around her self-esteem for her wedding, and now it looks like what she was looking forward to will be cancelled.

It doesn't take much imagination and empathy to understand that sometimes a holiday or an event sometimes mean more than just the surface.

catsmother · 16/03/2020 09:28

@canshopwillshop.

I tried to make it clear in my post that everyone is worried. I certainly didn't say that those facing holiday cancellations shouldn't feel disappointed at all, nor that they lacked sympathy.

The point I was trying to make was that at least some in that group will hopefully be able to salvage something and, for the sake of their mental health, will have that prospect to help them get through the stresses we will all be suffering in the months to come. (I acknowledged that some will lose out.)

Others won't have even that tiny bit of optimism, and although they wouldn't have had it anyway even if CV19 wasn't an issue, in the current situation, with all its understandable additional worries, the lack of anything to look forward to, or to at least hope for, may be what tips their mental health over the edge - whereas 'normally' they can just about cope. CV19 is likely to be, psychologically, a 'final straw' situation for those suffering poor mental health, and undoubtedly those in poverty will be disproportionately affected.

OldLace · 16/03/2020 09:33

I've not been on a plane since my honeymoon to Malta in 2001.
More importantly my kids (15 and 12) have never been abroad
(lack of money due to now being a single parent disabled Carer for them as they both have ASD. It's tough & I'd like them to go abroad).
This year, i was finally hoping to take them to stay cheaply with family in Malta for a week or so.

But: C'est la vie! :(

claragolightly · 16/03/2020 09:34

It's not unreasonable. These are things we look forward to.

That said, my sister is a pilot. My auntie (single mother) is a stewardess. They'd have loved to be operating your (or indeed anyone's) flights to their holiday. Instead they're fearing for their jobs.

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