Feel like I have a death sentence :’(

[tollyfeeder]

I’m struggling so bad :(

I’m 34, I have a nearly 5 week old baby, I’m asthmatic. Well controlled and never caused me any real serous issues.

I literally feel like I’m just waiting to catch this virus and die.

I can’t stop crying. My husband is becoming really annoyed with me and has lost any sort of patience.
He’s quite the laid back sort and although he’s taking it seriously, he’s not worried to my extent.

I on the other hand am.

I can’t focus on anything other than that my life is going to end and I’m going to leave my baby without a mum.

I just want to enjoy my newborn but how can I?!

I’ve cancelled all visitor’s, I’ve cancelled the baby classes we had arranged this week too.

I can’t even explain how truly truly awful I feel about this.

I feel as though I genuinely am on borrowed time and it’s only a matter of time before my life is over 😔😔😔

I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate and I spend most of my time reading the threads on here on the news.

When I’m not doing that I’m constantly worrying that I might have got the virus and I’m checking my temperature or paranoid I’m getting a cough.

This isn’t just going to go away so I guess I just have to accept it and this is my “life” now.

I hate it. Absolutely hate it 😔😔😔

Come over to the Positive Mental Health thread in the Coronavirus topic. Lots of people like you are feeling anxious about the situation and it might help you to talk with others as well as bringing this up with your HV and/or GP.

Everyone who says you should see your GP asap is right. This level of anxiety and emotional response sounds to me like post-natal anxiety/depression, possibly bordering on post-natal psychosis.

The belief that your life is about to end and your baby will be left without a mum is a delusion - i.e. a thought or belief that is unlikely to be true, and that other people don’t share. You also have extreme anxiety, depression, low mood, crying, difficulty sleeping.

"Coronavirus only has a 1%kill rate, so far everyone the uk who has died has been over 70(I think) and had underlying health issues.
You’re young, the hospital would prioritise you, especially as a new mum, should you need treatment.
I can’t promise you will be ok, but you will be"

I agree with this fully.

Come over to the Positive Mental Health thread in the Coronavirus topic

That's a very bad idea. OP should stay away from other anxious people winding themselves up about Coronavirus. Fear and panic are highly contagious and it will fuel her anxiety.

We are not winding each other up @Tzigane, if you look at the thread we are talking about positive things (lots of pictures of peoples pets) and helping people who are feeling anxious by suggesting coping mechanisms and general chit chat about what we are doing to help ourselves feel better.

anxiety after having a baby is very real and very treatable. It won’t take away the pandemic. It won’t make you a different person. It will help you approach the current reality rationally.

For someone with extreme anxiety about coronavirus, hanging out with a bunch of other people anxious about it too, will simply justify her fears. However many pictures of pets you post.

Hi OP,

I'm asthmatic too but even with asthma there are very few 30-something asthmatics dying from Coronavirus.

This is likely PND, as others have said. I’ve been there and it feels intolerable. It will pass but you should seek help for it. You’re not alone. And honestly, by all means read a reputable news site once or twice a day, but stay away from social media and definitely mumsnet on this topic. There are far too many people heavily invested in the drama. Take sensible social distancing steps, and protect your mental as well as your physical help by switching off mumsnet. Someone recommended Headpsace. The Calm app is also brilliant. And I swear by audiobooks when I am finding concentration difficult. Look after yourself.

I have a 7 month old and I'm asthmatic. I got hit really badly by post-natal depression and anxiety and obsessive thoughts around 5-6 weeks postpartum. I am now on medication (you can take it and still breastfeed if you want, there are options) which means I can function and be the mum my helpless baby needs me to be. It took 2 visits to the GP to get them to take it seriously and by the time they did, I was 12 weeks PP and a lot worse and suicidal. With this coronavirus it's probably exacerbating mental health symptoms really quickly so it's very important you get seen by your GP as an emergency asap, and in the meantime, ring 999 or go to A and E and ask for the duty psychiatrist if you feel yourself making plans of hurting yourself or others. You will not be separated from your baby if at all possible. You have a wonderful baby and they need you to take care of yourself right now.

Definitely speak to your GP. You have just had a baby. You definitely sound as though you have post natal depression. I remember when i had my babies. Should have been the happiest time but i felt overwhelmed. It isn't the easiest of times right now but you are not going to die!! Seek help to make you see that you aren't thinking straight. Xx

Oh I really feel for you, OP. I have never felt so vulnerable in my life as I did after the birth of my first child... you are just so acutely aware of how precious and precarious life is, and how much there is to lose. Have a viral pandemic been underway during those weeks, I would have struggled to cope with it.

Many many many people in their 30s and 40s have asthma. If they were dying in notable numbers in places like China and Italy, we would be hearing about it. But we're not. You are not at a high risk from this disease and thankfully, neither is your newborn.

But it is an awful, stressful time and it's hard to enjoy everyday life at the moment. I am so sorry that your early days with your baby have this undercurrent of extra anxiety to temper the joy. Better days are to come

Sounds like anxiety.

You may not get the virus and be fine, try imagining this and not the worst. Try and contact sympathetic friends on line, don’t depend on hubby as he may just be overloaded and feel out of control.

Gaze at your baby, and get that loving feeling, do everything reasonable you can to keep safe.

Also if you can contact someone about your mental health.

OP, ask for a phone appointment from your GP and they may be able to prescribe you anti anxiety medication over the phone.
Most mothers have this sort of emotional response when they realise that their baby depends on them to stay alive. I cried loads for the first few months and used to get visions of dying and having to leave DD on this planet without me. It was awful but just normal as well.

Unfortunately all this in the news will be exacerbating your worries.
Please tell your GP.

HRTFT but OP you sound extremely anxious, are you normally like this?

You'll be absolutely fine. You aren't going to die. Enjoy spending time with your new baby.