Feel like I have a death sentence :’(

[tollyfeeder]

I’m struggling so bad :(

I’m 34, I have a nearly 5 week old baby, I’m asthmatic. Well controlled and never caused me any real serous issues.

I literally feel like I’m just waiting to catch this virus and die.

I can’t stop crying. My husband is becoming really annoyed with me and has lost any sort of patience.
He’s quite the laid back sort and although he’s taking it seriously, he’s not worried to my extent.

I on the other hand am.

I can’t focus on anything other than that my life is going to end and I’m going to leave my baby without a mum.

I just want to enjoy my newborn but how can I?!

I’ve cancelled all visitor’s, I’ve cancelled the baby classes we had arranged this week too.

I can’t even explain how truly truly awful I feel about this.

I feel as though I genuinely am on borrowed time and it’s only a matter of time before my life is over 😔😔😔

I can’t sleep, I can’t concentrate and I spend most of my time reading the threads on here on the news.

When I’m not doing that I’m constantly worrying that I might have got the virus and I’m checking my temperature or paranoid I’m getting a cough.

This isn’t just going to go away so I guess I just have to accept it and this is my “life” now.

I hate it. Absolutely hate it 😔😔😔

Please call them. I felt the same last week and saw the GP. I now have a prescription and have referred myself for CBT. I can also recommend the Headspace app which is guided meditation and really helps.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

Is it possible to hide a whole topic? I’d love to do that

I think everyone is feeling a little scared and lost at the moment. Everyone's frustrated with the selfishness of panic buyers. Everyone's wondering if Boris is doing the right thing. Everyone's freaking out that they won't be able to buy things they need. As you have underlying issues then you just need to keep your distance from people for a couple of weeks. Don't necessarily stop a friend coming for a cuppa. Just be sensible. Get yourself outside in fields, woods, riversides, parks etc. If there's lakes or beaches near you even better. Keep yourself busy in an environment where you won't be coughed on and have to go in public buildings. Keep your hands clean. Eat well. Also know that you are not alone.

Also not even 1 million cases are in China. They have 7% of the worlds population. So that's a hugeeeee place. Just say two million have had it. There's absolutely millions and millions of people who haven't had it. China's getting better at the moment.

Because you and your sweet baby can stay home for a couple of weeks at least that's all you need to do.

Don't worry about a month, 2 months etc. Turn the news off. She's abit young but there's something called the baby club on cbeebies. It's a baby group programme. you can sit on the floor in the living room and watch it and interact with your baby. It gives lots of ideas about things your baby can explore etc.

Also what makes you happy? I used to curl up Infront of call the midwife with mine when they new borns. Also loved one born every minute etc. Find something to watch that will help you feel lighter.

Bake some cakes or learn to cook some new recipes. Keep your mind busy.

It will get better. But if it isn't getting better for you speak to your health visitor about it. Not many have died below 60. The odds of you getting it are unlikely. I get it though. I'm also feeling our lives are so uncertain right now.

OP, look after yourself and please get off social media.

There are malicious posters on mumsnet who trying to scare people.

I understand your concern OP. I think a lot of it is natural with a new baby. I had the same when mine were small and that was without the virus. Please try and focus on nice positive things like your lovely little baby and just follow precautions x

I had PND and had obsessions with it . I agree with PPs , OP, get to your GP as it sounds like PND .

Make sure your husband washes his hands very thoroughly when he comes in, and concentrate on enjoying your safe place with your baby. Also, have you got helpful local networks online? The one i know is nextdoor. Stay in touch with people, enjoy the quiet time.
I hope you’re feeling better soon. Xx

I have a 7 week old baby and am your age. This is sounding v much like PND. I’ve had it, I’ve studied it (in my professional capacity), and this time my plans to cope against it with baby 2 have been cut rudely short by all this virus business. So I’m aware and prepared and fine but listening to you this is sounding like PND PNA. Do speak to HV and GP.

For someone who is sleep deprived and trying to get to know and care for a new person, you sound vigilant and very protective of your family.
Yes, your symptoms maybe worse than those without asthma when you catch corona but it's not as black and white as that.
If your baby is breastfed, they are getting their immunity from you. if they're not, you're doing all you can to reduce their chances of catching it with low immunity.
I would probably spend a lot of time talking to friends and family via video chat. It means you're not in your head as much but not putting yourself at more risk.

Also : consider what use is social media? What specific use to you is Mumsnet? Does it make you feel better or worse? Is it a habit worth continuing? We all make decisions based on our personal circs. I know for instance that reading the Mumsnet coronavirus threads is not useful for me. So I don’t read them. Can you have a think about what aspects of online comms is useful for you now and what aspects aren’t ?

OP with well managed asthma, your age and sex, it is highly unlikely that you will be seriously ill.
I understand how scary it is. I am twenty years older than you, with auto immune disease, and 12 and 15 yr old children.
I am really frightened as I have been told I should isolate.
Can you pretty much stay at home with your baby now ?

OP, as someone who suffered severe post natal anxiety, I can assure you this is your anxiety talking! I had exactly the same fears (although I found other things to focus on as Coronavirus wasn’t a thing then). Definitely speak to your GP. I know how debilitating it is. Every time a thought like this is in your head, just remind yourself “that’s anxiety”. Even if you have to say it aloud to yourself. Sending positive thoughts your way

I am concerned with the number of posters thinking that there will be HV support and MH from GPs going forrward. I have already been told that MH will be non-existant soon. Support cannot be provided when medically trained staff (albeit a long time ago) will need to be switched into the front line even though their skills are very out of date.
Our local MH team has already made me aware of this.

I have and have had, very similar feelings to you, except I am older. I had post natal depression and have suffered from anxiety and depression Evers since. On and off. It’s been helped by medication and counselling and exercise and friendships.

All of those things are within our control to a certain extent, so we cope. This is outside anyone’s experience and we can’t control it and have to rely on others, that we might not trust to do the best job.

I’ve had exactly the same feelings, the railing against it, the feeling that it’s inevitable, the inability to eat or sleep or concentrate or enjoy anything.

We hate being out of control and unable to manage our own lives and that’s what it feels like just now. I’ve cancelled trips, exercise classes and visits. My asthma is well controlled too, but it still scares me.

BUT, I have a very wise friend who has some very significant health issues and he says that you plan the best you can and then just do one hour, one day at a time. What else can you do?

If your husband is more laid back, he won’t understand how awful you feel, ecause it’s not in his physiology. Speak to your health visitor and get some support.

I have asthma too so does my son and hubby we all have the same % chance of dying from the flu as this new virus you are panicked about it but you will be fine as long as you keep taking your inhalers stop watching the news go out for a walk or just in your garden if you can't face the walk baby needs air too

OP, that sounds like post-natal depression. You're fixating on the vulnerability of your baby. Go and see a GP and get it under control before you lose any more precious happy time with your newborn! Also, Chardonnay.

Op, you are young, and your baby is young, there's no reason for you to go out. So only person who really need to be careful not to bring in virus home is your dh. Make sure he takes all the precautions.
No point being negative, there are always others who have worst odds. I don't think you need to worry too much.
Don't read these threads, and enjoy the time with your baby.

You definitely need to speak to your GP. You're not thinking rationally and that is very understandable given what your body has gone through lately. IMO you need something to take the edge of your anxiety and then you'll be in a better position to consider all these issues. Don't read the papers, put a funny sitcom on and talk to your GP asap.

I understand how you feel. I have asthma (not well controlled) and work in care and take 90 minute bus ride 5 days a week.

I researched and most sources reckon asthma only adds around 2% to your chance of dying so my chance of dying from corona is around 3% which is approximately the same as normal flu. The only difference being I can vaccinate against other common flu strains whereas I can't against corona yet. I am confident by next winter there will be a vaccine and it will combined with the regular vaccine.

Wash your hands after being out in public, take preventatives regularly and as prescribed and you'll be golden.

You poor thing. This is a rotten time and especially for you with a young baby.

I presume your husband is still going out to work and that must worry you.

You are quite right to not have visitors or go to baby groups at the moment so don't worry about that.

You're a young woman and I'm sure you'll be fine despite having asthma but you have to believe it yourself.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts, keep on posting, it really does help.

Perfectly understandable how you are feeling.
I was reading these threads non-stop and found I couldn't sleep any more.

I have now switched to listening to news or twice a day, and only skim reading these threads once a day.

I've also started watching Just for Laughs on Youtube for half an hour a day and trying to have a good laugh. It's the best thing for your immune system. When I am a bit down or anxious it's hard to concentrate on plots or sitcoms so I find stupid visual comedy best.

All other suggestions are good - talk to HV/GP

It's your maternal instinct going into over drive.

You're ready to fight off that predator coming for your baby :) It's a good thing going a bit OTT.

You will be ok OP.

I went for a walk in a gardens near me yesterday for a couple of hours. I sauntered round and listened to the birds getting busy with their nesting. Felt so much better for it.

My child has multiple chronic illness and immuno suppressed. We have been through so much over the years, since simple cold can be deadly.
But I am quite confident because we can do things to prevent worst case scenario. I am extremely over the top when it comes to hygene. But doing things OTT makes me fell better, and most of times, it works well too. So, stop being negative. Do things you can do. Eat healthy. Take supplements. Make sure hygene routine is up to ott level. Do something you love and heal your soul.

There's a lot of misinformation and hyperbole in the tabloid press and on social media.

Sadly, a lot of people are going to die. That's unavoidable and tragic and horrendous for the families but and I don't want this to sound like I mean these people do not matter because they do and my own father is one of the people who probably will die if they catch the virus, the people who are going to die and are people who didn't have much longer left with us anyway i.e the very elderly, the chronically ill and people, like my father, with a myriad of underlying health issues. It's going to be a terrible time for all of us and not enough is being done to protect the most vulnerable but a young and otherwise fit and healthy asthmatic does not need to worry about dying.

I hope that doesn't come across as insensitive.

You're probably more likely to die driving to the shops than you are from this virus OP.

You need to ignore the scaremongering and get a little bit of perspective. Perhaps stop reading the zillion hyperbolic threads on MN and avoid the tabloid media for a while.