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Original poster

To say I will not have my grand children

144 replies

Bottletopsx · 07/03/2020 22:06

If and I mean If, the coronavirus spreads across the whole of the Uk. I am considering telling my daughter in law that I can not take care of her 2 children. At the moment I look after a 2 year old two days a week and a 9 year old after school and both of them when there is no school. My husband and I are in our 60s and he had high blood pressure and a heart complaint and I have a lung problem. We love the kids to bits but they go to so many different people we are worried that they may get coronavirus and show no symptoms yet pass it on to us. We are in the group that is at high risk. I dont want to let my daughter in law down but I am worried for our health. I honestly dont know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
Mucky1 · 07/03/2020 22:22

Wow bet some of you feel a bit shitty now 😳

iMoan7 · 07/03/2020 22:22

Sorry, I've just read your update. It might have helped to say that at the outset though as people are bound to ask about the other parent

Ffs it’s completely unrelated

BadCatDirtyCat · 07/03/2020 22:24

So sorry about your son.

I funny think you're being unreasonable but yes, speak to her about it now so she can plan ahead.

Leaannb · 07/03/2020 22:24

@Ilovesooty Why would that matter?

Theholidayarmadillo4 · 07/03/2020 22:24

People just piled on to make a clever comment. Bet you feel awkward now.

Op, I'd speak to her sooner rather than later and share your concerns. I feel the same about my parents and wouldn't want them to be in a position where they worried about their health.

BadCatDirtyCat · 07/03/2020 22:24

I don't think you're being unreasonable

Double3xposure · 07/03/2020 22:25

The parents are my son and daugher in law

Funnily you didn’t mention that at 22:14, some 7 mins ago.

Thehop · 07/03/2020 22:25

You’re not unreasonable at all. Talk to her and explain so she can make other arrangements.

Original poster
Bottletopsx · 07/03/2020 22:25

Thanks for nothing folks. What a lot of nasty people I have found on here. Bye.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 07/03/2020 22:26

Why the hell should the OP have said her son had died? It wasn’t relevant to what she was asking.

Foobydoo · 07/03/2020 22:27

My parents help me out a lot.
Both are high risk and I will be speaking to them about stopping the school run and keeping away from us if necessary.

iMoan7 · 07/03/2020 22:27

Hey Double3xposure what point is it you’re trying to make? Don’t be shy.

Butterymuffin · 07/03/2020 22:27

It's not unrelated. People were asking why only one parent was being seen as inconvenienced by this decision. As it turns out there's a perfectly good reason so it would have helped to know that straight away.

TitianaTitsling · 07/03/2020 22:27

@Mucky1 why would people feel shitty? If you don't have the info you have to answer as per the info given and later posters can answer as per new drip feed .

Freddiefox · 07/03/2020 22:28
  • The parents are my son and daugher in law

Funnily you didn’t mention that at 22:14, some 7 mins ago.*

Ffs sake why with the nasty sarcastic comment.
It’s not funny or suspicious that the op
didn’t say her son had passed away. He’s still their parents. Honestly you should think about your comment a bit

CathyTre · 07/03/2020 22:28

I had a comment like that when I asked something about my step daughter and got comments like this. “It’s up to her mum to answer questions like that” etc. Her mum died when she was eight. We’re not in a position to ask her anything.

Step families are very often but not always through divorce. Sorry about your son OP, I’d gave a chat with your daughter in law expressing your worries if I see you and see how you get on.

ilovesooty · 07/03/2020 22:28

@Leaannb I don't see the point of your question. Irrelevant now the OP has gone anyway.

NotJustACigar · 07/03/2020 22:29

It really, really isn't the same as the flu. Why would China, Italy etc take such drastic measures if this were "just like the flu". And do 20% of people with the flu have to be hospitalised for example?

I think you are quite right not to have your grandchildren while this situation lasts given your health, age, etc. Of course let you DIL know now. And try to ignore posters who are being negative - there are always a few on every thread.

CathyTre · 07/03/2020 22:29

*have

HelloDulling · 07/03/2020 22:29

I misunderstood, and thought you were talking about two different sets of children.

So, you don’t want to look after them more than you do already? I think that’s fine. Just let her know so she can work out she will do if their school closes.

SallySun123 · 07/03/2020 22:29

My son died so less of the accusing please

I’m so sorry to hear this. Flowers I think a few posters owe you an apology.

Tell your DIL so she can plan ahead and arrange childcare with a nanny who is young and fit and in contact with lots of children anyway.

SarahAndQuack · 07/03/2020 22:29

Oh, FFS people.

OP, if you're still there, no, of course you're not being unreasonable. Very sensible.

And, I hope other people have the decency to say sorry for your loss.

I admit, I'm all feministy and it would occur to me to wonder why your interaction was with your DIL, but the was no need to start presuming you were obviously being sexist, even if we didn't know your son had died. (And come on, people ... don't you think there might be reasons someone might not actually find it that easy to type that out?).

Squidgoals · 07/03/2020 22:30

Very young children don't seem to catch Covid 19, apparently they don't have the necessary receptors in their lungs. No I don't know what that means, or what a receptor is, but a doctor said it on tv the other day. Whatever - it is known to be rare in the under-19s, even more rare in the under-12s. So as long as the kids wash their hands when then get to you it'll probably be fine!

HerkyBaby · 07/03/2020 22:30

You are in a high risk group and it is imperative that you start protecting yourself from the virus ASAP. She will understand

Ken1976 · 07/03/2020 22:30

@grumpyhoonmain any older person with chest problems is in the high risk category.