30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Thanks, MountgomeryBurns. It's the being overweight thing that really made me cry - I hate people's first impressions of me being that I'm a chubber. Esp. as the people I'll be meeting are slim with fabulous figures (seen pics). Being overweight is v hard for a perfectionist who was thin and could wear whatever she liked until a few years ago. I have a really OTT reaction to being a bit fleshy I feel v self-conscious that everyone sees me and TYF and thinks we're a stereotype: tall, skinny quiet guy with small, tubby bossy/chatty gal. Other relatives of his have made jokes saying the same

PS Weight loss is v difficult for me as I have endocrinal issues. Yes, it really IS my glands!

You is gawjuss Scorps. Total girlcrush material.

I notice that you didn't deny I was a porker though, Polecat

You iz not a porker. I have seen pics and quite frankly, if you're a porker than I want to be a porker like you too.

Oh, Muse, you old devil you!

I am watching a man move buildings. It is weird.

Polly - I'll see your shower-with-Jeremy-Clarkson (although that is disturbing in the extreme) and raise you a sleep-orgasm-inducing-sex-dream with Tony Soprano. Beat that!

Bad news I'm afraid. Fortunately they were able to take me straight into hospital to do the 'surgical evacuation' (nice term!). All went fine. The staff at St Michael's were amazing.I'm just glad it is over, the last week has been horrible.
Came home last night and had some wine.

Oh salty, I'm so sorry.

Salty, I am so terribly sorry. XX

Oh Salty that's just awful, I'm so sorry Much BESHlove and hugs here for you xxx

So sorry Salty, hope you get lots of TLC this weekend. Take care of yourself x

Oh Salty, here I am whining about a pot belly when people have real problems I can't tell you how sorry I am for you More BESHlove and hugs for you from me xxxx

Thank you BESHies. Mr S is doing a fantabulous job of looking after me.

Sausage my love, I'm with the others and join you in standing ovation. I would have muttered "Don't know." Well done you!

Oh shit Salts I'm sorry, I didn't read to the end. I'm so sorry, really really sorry

You sound very brave and brilliant but have a good howl if you want. Lots of love xxxxxxxxxx

Oh salts that it so shit. I also sorry for you. I hope MrSalts is taking good care of you and dishing out more wine and tlc. Xxx

So sorry Salty. Sending hugs and more wine.

And scorps you are most definitely not a porker - that is what I meant when I said you are gorgeous. And you have great buzzwams too. :-) x

Soz 4 crap typing, on phone. Roundhouse kicks to all, except salty who gets hairstrokes and a sack of thorntons. X

It's true, I do have great buzwams For all those who are interested, Polly is a stooooone FOX. So pretty, with flawless skin and gorgeous hair, amazing figure, funky dress sense and she's so sweet, funny, clever, sarky, caring, etc.

Salty, I've brought you this giant bottle of lucozade, big bunch of wildflowers, some trashy mags and a Hotel Chocolat selection pack (not trying to oneupmanshippify Pol's Thorntons; just didn't want you to get too many of the same brand). Am glad Mr S is being such a lovely nurse - be gentle and caring to yourself

really sorry salty - here's a light but comfy duvet and some toasty warm pyjamas

Thanx ev1 4 kind words re. fanjo-blood (urgh, how do people keep that stuff up for entire emails?).

Score I know just precisely what you mean re. meeting the cuzzins. However two things occur to me:

a) everyone is intimidated by someone. I for instance would be v. intimidated by you (or someone like you), as being a great galumphing clumsy tow-headed awkward faux-religious Clark's-shoes-clad nerd with hormone spots on my neck, presented with tiny raven-haired ivory-skinned minx with the wardrobe of a Milanese style-blogger. No-one actually enters a room thinking they're the intimidating one, and many's the time I've had conversations along the lines of "I never thought you'd be pals with someone like me, blush blush fawn fawn", only to have the response, "You're shitting me, I still can't believe you speak to me!" etc. etc.

b) It's taken me years to realise no-one gives a flying fanny-flap what others look like, beyond that first inventory (where did she get her hair cut/I like her bag/her eyes are a bit wonky/Jesus how big are her feet?!/I wish I had legs like that). After that all anyone cares about is that you're not a boring swine. And you're not. So there it is.

Wise sentiments, Pencilgirl I too suffer from an appalling inferiority complex - lanky, skinny, ginger, square with crap clothes and nails etc etc ETC. But I shall hold your words like a lamp in the darkness of my inferior, paranoid mind!

Aries, I promise you, if I met you I would start knocking things over and feeling like a giant, and generally praying desperately that the ground would swallow me up, and that no-one passing by would laugh hysterically at the sight of my billowing skirts on my billowing hips and my billowing stupid 19th century hair, in comparison to the neat chic sunkissed elfin creature by my side.

SRSLY!

I think we all need to realise that a) everyone feels much the same, and b) since none of us would dream of judging someone on their looks why the hell do we think the people we meet are shallow/judgey/evil/idiotic enough to be doing it?!

Right, I'm on fire. Anyone else want some Granny-style telling-it-like-it-mostly-is?!