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Conception

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30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

1001 replies

Scorpette · 06/07/2010 18:31

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

OP posts:
Medee · 11/07/2010 12:47

MrM isn't too bad at the cleaning, actually, though he is better at the deep-cleaning than the day-to-day hoovering and loo cleaning. Which is fine, because I lose patience with deep cleaning.

PollyPoo · 11/07/2010 12:54

And and and (I'm getting on a roll now, you may want to skip to end) he cannot hang the washing out/go shopping as he is agrophobic. He never ever cleans the toilet, even after leaving a mass of skidders in there. He leaves things where they fall, rarely picks up after himself, never does any washing. He uses handkerchiefs as he hates tissues and they always seem to migrate down the back of the bed - I can't reach them and refuse to pick them up anyway, so there they stay until he starts to run out and complain that I am losing his washing. He puts dirty things on the clean draining board, despite being asked 100 million trillion fucking times not to. I'm running out of steam but sure I can't think of more... Someone hit me plz?

Muser · 11/07/2010 13:04

Picnic! Lashings and lashings of Ginger beer!

Saladbomb · 11/07/2010 13:04

polly {massivebackhandedslapacrossthechops]

dunno sounds life you have every right to be grrrrhhh. problem is you cant change em once they get to a 'certain' age. i certainly am not complaining about mrB. he'd better at cleaning and does more than me (i am a bit blind so my washing up skills are rubbish) just the bathroom and pairing the socks are his blind spots. i was complaining after pairing the sock mountain that was 99% his yesterday as i dont wear socks between april and sept really. he quite rightly pointed he still cleans the kitchen up when he gets in from work after i've be WFH and made lunch/snacks etc. tit for tat.

defo couldn't handle the skids, bit ocd about the loo {grossedout]

Saladbomb · 11/07/2010 13:05

ps, got cucumber sandwiches sans crusts and some victoria sponge cake here. plus one of those very snazzy car blankets with a waterproof underside.

Ocarina · 11/07/2010 13:20

The answer to sock pairing is to do what TH does and only ever buy the same socks, so you just have a drawer full of them and any two will match. It does mean I've had to train him to pair mine rather than just throw them in the drawer (on the odd occasions he decides to put the washing away, which aren't all that frequent).

Picnic sounds great as long as some of you southerners have some decent weather to contribute! I'll go and pick berries from the garden to add to the feast.

Scorpette · 11/07/2010 13:31

Feel a bit guilty moaning about TYF now The bathroom looks like summat from a showroom now (albeit a showroom filled with half-empty bottles of Philosophy shower gel, ahem) and he actually does about 60% of housework and is tidier than me. The only things I can complain about it that he leaves the toilet seat up, uses every utensil and implement in the kitchen when cooking, if there's washing up already in the sink, he'll only ash what he's just used unless nagged, whereas I'll just wash everything, regardless of 'whose' it is, is incapable of putting things in the bin (leaves used packaging and food out, grrr) and unfortunately was taught about hygiene by MIL (she of the refused meat-juice foil and black, suppurating plasters whilst handling meat) and therefore sees all dirt as equally hygienic, ie urine, faeces, mould, chemicals, etc., are as bad as dust, crumbs, spilled water, etc., which is obviously mental [JD Face] And 'cos of her, has to be nagged about hand-washing after handling meat.

Whereas I:
leave everything where I put it, don't put anything away, have piles of books and mags everywhere, have to have my stuff in front of me instead of put away (is common habit amongst people with bad astigmatisms, in my defence), have a gazillion toiletries and crap spread all over bathroom, am a massive hoarder, have allergies and leave used tissues everywhere... I could go on.

He tells me off about tidiness, I tell him off about hygiene and point out that being sanitary trumps aesthetics.

Considering that his parents' relationship is totally Conservative and his Mum does EVERYTHING around the house (my parents do everything 50-50), I should be bloody chuffed that he genuinely doesn't see housework as my domain.

Poll, am so on your behalf. TG is taking the piss there. Colourblind and agrophobia, my arse. I mean, they're real conditions but they don't stop you respecting your partner and pulling your weight! TYF is cripplingly shy but goes to the shops for me, etc. Tell TG you've developed a neurological condition that makes you punch people every time they act like a twat

OP posts:
Saladbomb · 11/07/2010 13:34

i tried that. but it back fired as the socks i bought have a little embroidery on the outside (or inside) and so i end up having to pair them with one of each. SAD. plus i quite like unusual/stripey/knee length socks, and also sometimes trainer socks are required so you end up back to square one.

tbh, the sock pairing is quite therapeutic once i've started although the odd socks distress me bit.

Saladbomb · 11/07/2010 13:44

*scorps you made me laugh out loud with last comment. well said.

I did not know that about astigmatisms, yey! now i have an excuse for being an untidy cow! tbf mrB is prob marginally cleaner and tidier than i am but seems incapable of putting anything back in the bathroom cabinet/fridge after using it and also seems to think there is a spot next to the sink that magically washes and sorts the recycling into the relevant place. small things really.

sausagegirl · 11/07/2010 14:54

oh dear, I seem to be dawdling with the housework - half the hoovering's done and I'm just about to tackle the bathroom (cue doom-laden music).

I'll make smoked salmon sandwiches and potato salad for the picnic and bring some old fashioned lemonade in one of those bottles with the lever/spring thing top (don't be blinded by my technical jargon)

RunLyraRun · 11/07/2010 15:10

I'm bringing rotisserie chicken, strawbs and rasps from my garden , and lashings of ginger beer prosecco. Nom noms.

Medee · 11/07/2010 15:12

mmm, I love all of those things.

Scorpette · 11/07/2010 17:52

IS it too late? I've spent all day slaving in the kitchen for youse lot I'm bringing chequerboard sarnies (SO early-80s kids party!), a light quinoa salad, scotch eggs (food of champions), big gooey chocolate cake and elderflower champagne* - all home-made.

Om nom nom nom, am hungry now! I also yearn for a proper picnic basket and a giant tartan picnic blanket. And somewhere half-decent nearby to use 'em (park nearby is all full of roudy chav teens or rowdy chav teen parents smoking and yelling at their kids that they can't/won't control).

  • Or 'shampaggun', as Captain Zap Brannigan would pronounce it
OP posts:
Medee · 11/07/2010 18:23

not at all.

Scorpette · 11/07/2010 18:32

Good. I made sure I'm not wearing anything with a tight waistband

OP posts:
sausagegirl · 11/07/2010 18:48

as it gets cooler, here's a round of mini toad-in-the-holes for all and i've put the baked potatos on for later. anyone need more scones?

Saladbomb · 11/07/2010 18:53

mmmm, [groaningwithrepleteness]

do you really make elderflower champagne scorpette? I have just bottled some, and its my first time Using those grolsch bottles (how appropriate) and i've read somewhere that you should leave them with the caps just resting on the top for about a week so that they don't explode. and then tighten them. could use some advice pls as dont want to lose all the fizz but will be away next week and also don't want to come back to a sticky glass encrusted dining room.

lyra get some of those raspberries steeping in some gin. :D

saltyair · 11/07/2010 18:58

Cup of tea, anyone? I have a giant thermos...

Scorpette · 11/07/2010 19:09

Have only made elderflower cordial so far, so dunno about the caps things, but it sounds right (my Dad used to make home brew and he used to leave the caps loose for the first week).

Hey, it's kinda nice to chat about food trivia and not menkul it for once. Verily, 'tis truly a day of rest!

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 11/07/2010 19:13

I have just got in from work. I want to go to Devon on holiday too. Is that Pencilgirl I see before me? Is it? Glory be and hallelujah. Not that I want to give you a big head, bit I'm so pleased to see you.

Pol I hear you on the housework-fury. After ten years I shouldn't be surprised, but every time he reasonably explains that he never knows when things need to be done as he has a much higher tolerance of mess and filth than I have, I grind my teeth with frustration. FFS I am an utter slut so you can imagine him. Or perhaps you can't.

Ariesgirl · 11/07/2010 19:14

Am sulking at missing the picnic. You could have waited for me. Beyatches.

saltyair · 11/07/2010 19:17

Oh arielacrobatics there's still plenty left

Scorpette · 11/07/2010 19:26

Aries, my reply would be along the lines of me clearly having a much lower threshold for skanky bullshitters who haven't got the common decency about cleanliness of a small child, but that's just the way I roll, baby (I really do say things this harsh... am starting to wonder if I'm too harsh. Perhaps I didn't ought to start reprimands of TYF about some of his daft habits with 'it's not your fault your Mum's a skank with less sense about hygiene than I had at 5, but...'. Is that nasty? Do I go too far? ).

OP posts:
Ariesgirl · 11/07/2010 19:27

Hey Scorps do you recognise this: "Verily if you eat any more you will turn into a pie shop!" Or was it "heartily"?

MountTheFairy · 11/07/2010 19:27

Hello picnicing ladies. Can't stay: gotta charm the man. Menkuling about post-flu jizz. Maybe I should not mess with the degenerate stuff?

Not really a picnic conversation. Sorry!

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