30s TTC: Club BESHicana, drinks are free and we're hungry like the WOOFL! The MSDP continues...

[Scorpette]

Come on in, collect the Grolsch bottle tops for your DM shoes at the door

We're going all-out 80s for the continuation of the Mass Summer Diffment Project: John Hughes films playing back-to-back and on BESH FM, DJ ChoCho will be playing our all-time 80s faves, from New Romantics to Synth to Goth to Hair Metal to Pop and back again (no Fields of The Nephilim, mind). Our bartenders and waiters are Ducky from Pretty in Pink, Ralph Macchio (the Karate Kid) and Corey Haim (back from the dead especially for us) and unlike most of the real 80s, we actually get to booze!

Here's hoping the authentic 80s vibe will trick our bodies into thinking we've got the ovaries of teenagers!

(Not to mention tricking them into being super skinny and able to eat whatever we want and staying that way!)

There's plenty of Babycham and Ice Magic to pour over ice-cream in the Pit and Metal Mickey will bring them to the wretched at the click of a finger.

So whaddya waiting for? Slip on the ra-ra skirts, slap on the blue eyeliner and let's get winning those baybeez! Last one in the pool's a psycho hose beast!

Thinking powerful thoughts for you today Salty. And of course for you next week Twink.

Scorps - I am absolutely convinced that I will never get pregnant. I have always thought that (will have no truck with a PMA, much to HO's disgust). Maybe it's just becuase it's impossible to imagine something you have never experienced...or maybe it's something deeper than that. I suspect the latter in my case, but the former in yours.

Well my pledge to only MN first thing today as I have a deadline to meet has failed....but I blame Scorps and her feminine wiles

Lyra I was convinced it was something for other people and not me too. Poss why we took so long to decide to start trying - we just felt there was going to be a reason why we were going to be unable to conceive. It was one of those things that we were destined not to experience. So I know what you mean, but it could just be a mental shield of sorts.

...and if you see me here again today can you tell me to bog off and do some work? - the quicker I get this done, the quicker I can go home.

Aw, Lyra I'm more positive today, telling myself that it is possible, so feeling it's impossible is silly. And you should do the same to your mind too. For me, it just feels like being a kid and wishing I could see a fairy or teeny daydreams of winning an Oscar or summat - outside realms of possibility. But it's NOT.

I know that intellectually, but...

Anyway, off to work. Big snogs to all and extra for Salty and Twinks

Glad you're feeling a bit calmer now Twinks - it must have been hell to have been on your own through all this.

I too will never get pregnant. I just won't, that's all. I can't imagine it ever happening to me, despite once having a +ve result which immediately disappeared. I kind of think that was my body's way of telling me the whole thing isn't for me. Very stupid I know.

hey.

have had scan and although they saw the sac etc, it measured smaller than I think I am pregnant - therefore they couldn't see a heartbeat. This means either I got my dates wrong (which is very unlikely) or BOC has stopped growing. Midwife said it was impossible to say one way or the other, I'd have to wait for another scan.

It isn't looking good - Midwife was sounding like she was preparing me to cope with miscarriage.

I can't stop crying.

Oh Salty I'm SO sorry. There aren't words. Have you got someone with you?

Did you really Aries? A CP then? Previously unreleased info there...

You blabby hags, cannot catch up! VAG, Lyra, I know exactly how you feel, and to add to Ariel and Lettuce's posts earlier, I feel that being on the fence until now has somehow contributed to lack of success. Like I don't deserve a baybee or summat. Added to it the fact that I REALLY cannot imagine it. Like, really. And am freaked out about labour! I think I just don't deserve a baybee. People who do have dreamt about it their whole life, and played with dolls and all of that, right?

Arial, Salad, you make me laugh with your mums, I am exactly the same! Oh, and I liked your alternative BESH name SlugandLettuce.

Oh Salty. I'm so sorry that you're going through this. Do you know how long you will have to wait?

sorry salty

No, I'm at home on my own, except for the 2 cats, who keep circling me looking like they wish I'd shut up...or feed them...

Cross posts Salty so sorry! Like Aries says, do you have someone with you? When is the next scan?

Salty anyone you can see? Or just stay online and hang out with us. We'll be very unBESHly and offer hugs, cookies and candles, I promise.

Oh so sorry salty. As Aries says, I'm sorry there's nothing we can say to make it better. I hope knowing that there's lots of love & sympathy here is something

They can offer me a scan on the 20th, but I am meant to be away with my job that week (if I haven't falllen to bits by then) or the 26th, which was my original dating scan.

I just don't know if I am better resigning myself to the inevitable, or if I should be thinking positive.

I don't know Salty. I know this is a very stupid advice, but can you do anything to take your mind of it? Not completely, I know, but get deep into work, or go to the movies, or go and be with some friends. I know that helped me in times of grief. It's not like you'll forget or anything, but may make the time pass, and you somehow need to survive until the next scan.

I did Lyra. A few weeks ago (release the info that is). It was in 2005, and at the time I just thought it was nothing, a mistaken test. Maybe it was. I mean it, it immediately disappeared.

Salts I'm not sure what attitude I'd take if I were you, but there's nothing wrong with a bit of hope I guess, as long as you're prepared either way. Which is a stupid thing to say. Hugs to you.

Sorry I missed that/forgot that Rie.

Salty, do you really have to go away with work? Could you explain to your boss and get someone to cover? I don't know how I would feel in your situation, but I don't think I could wait a whole week longer than I had to. Huge cuddle xxx

And I hear you about the cats - you describe them perfectly. When crying, a dog would lick your tears and whine in sympathy, his head on your knee, whereas a cat just looks at you impassively, even scornfully. Bloody creatures.

Is there anyone you can phone/be with? Bit hard I guess if no one knew. It's so hard this lark isn't it?

Thank you BESHies you big bunch of softies.
I have calmed down now, and am thinking about what the sonographer actually said, rather than the midwife.

Sonographer lady said that she could see yolk sac and fetal pole, and it looked like 5/6 weeks which is usually too early for a heartbeat, but that everything looked good.
This is only a week or so behind where I should be.

What do you guys think? Am I clutching at straws?

Saltster I would have no clue whether you are clutching at straws or not, but her words don't sound that horrid. Quite calming actually. I would be cautiously positive. You 100% about dates? It really does sound like all you can do is wait. I know it's an obvious comment that deserves a fish slap but tis true. Like someone said, can you postpone da work trip?

Work trip is end of year school residential, will need to think about how I handle it.

Sonographer was quite calming. Midwife was voice of doom. But midwife also made alot of sense.

Why does this have to be so difficult?

Aries my cat actually just started biting my damn foot. No empathy AT all.

Dunno but there is a candle for you and a lot of BESHly sympathy.

Oh salty, sorry the news isn't as good as you (and we) hoped, have everything crossed that it is just a dates thing.

How far away's the residential? - can you escape for long enough to get back for the scan? I guess even if you can that'd be a struggle to go back to a bunch of school kids when dealing with whatever the news is, but waiting another week sounds hellish.

Just kick the cat! (It deserves it for biting your foot)