30s TTC Inc: Rolling out BESH practice across our flagship monthly diffment projects - Blue Sky thinking for a paradigm shift vis-a-vis droids and wooden spoons.

[Muser]

We're getting serious this time BESHies. Welcome to the Palace, where the emphasis is on sophistication. Cast your eyes over the plush carpet, admire the oh-so-carefully worn leather armchairs with sidetables and little green lamps. We have the Bonds of the ages as barstaff, waiting to serve martinis and the finest champagne.

To your left you'll see the Pit, which hopefully we won't be needing much. To your right the Cave of Gloom, and straight ahead we have our special space for the 2WOOFL. You'll find beanbags and gym balls there, the walls have been specially painted to allow you to write your symptoms up and wipe them off if they disappear. It's all the rage for Blue Sky thinking these days. And there are donuts and coffee to keep you going as you try to shift that paradigm.

Aries you can always hold on for a later diffment with me. I really think droid is approaching. Summer goes on until September in my mind, just like the summer holidays.

Think it's just a case of a very clever specialist having no common sense, as usual Drom! Things can never be simple. Apparently. I think it's good news - could be worse anyway.

And yes, Muse, the summer does go on until at least September and sometimes even October half term. Have mentioned before that our lives could temporarily be a living, breathing hell if I produce a small, screaming, hungry, sleepless little creature between the months of April and October but beggars can't be choosers. However it may be better for everyone's sanity if this isn't our month now to wait until the winter to start again. But then I'll be 4 months off 36 and things may take even longer, given that the months are now starting to stack up a bit.

What's a girl to do? Any advice BESHes?

My view is there is never a good time to have a baby, and you will always make it work somehow. Trying to time babies seems a lot of pressure to me, fine if you're the kind of person who gets pregnant just by looking at a penis, less so for most of us.

Is that time period always going to be crazy? Because even if you don't have the baby in the crazy period, they might start crawling then, or walking, or go through the terrible screaming twos, or go out and get a nose piercing. Challenges go way past the first few months after all.

If it's a specific event then maybe wait, but otherwise I'd say just make it work.

aries I agree with muse. You sound like you may be having a bit of a wobble. But there never being an ideal time, just continue trying. In fact I reckon non ideal time = guarantee diff.

muse how rude of me - forgot to say love the new place! Nice fred.

I too think that Muse says wise things Aries.

Glad all's well Bessie, am now wondering how Twinkle is.

Hello lovely BESHies. Our interwebs is broken at home so have been severely deprived of my fixes recently...

Musey - sounds v odd indeedy about no droid no positive. To add my twopenn'orth in about cycle length, I thought it's the luteal phase that doesn't usually change so if you ov late you droid late. Obv that has all been said though - and I'm sure you're more bovvered about the outcome of the pissstick than what your LP is doing! Tis not over till the droid cometh though so hang in there...

Aries - completely know what you mean about timing - I currently don't have a job so will be without maternity leave (pay) for the duration and without knowing if/when I'll get a frigging job again... But we decided to try coz we just didn't know how long it would take, what would happen, etc. If it's what you want then you will find a way to manage - I am taking heart in the thought that lots of people have done it in much more adverse conditions!

Oh dear, I am drafting MrM into my menkulness now. He has kindly agreed to get me more tests to drive myself crazy with, as I only had a couple of el cheapo ones and used them up with my crazed testing.

Now that's a move bound to bring on the droid, right?

Btw, that other 30s thread? Don't go there.

Well, you are officially late now Muse, so you are perfectly entitled to piss on as many sticks as you see fit!

Good to hear things okay today for BessPractice (topical)...look after yourself.

Airymonsters do you have a life on the ocean waves in the summer?

OOOh Muse do tell

Thread is yet young. But original post is "oh noes I have 2 kids and really want a third but will be 30 soon and am clearly going to be barren. Boo hoo". Followed by tales of being 30 and getting diffed instantly and from bum sex.

Ok, I made up the bum sex.

Had to resist passing a bitchy comment on that thread.

Oh Muster you beat me too it, I was just about to byatch to you BESHes about that fred.

The only tests MrM could get in the crappy Tesco were CBDs. I hate CBDs. I may just not test ever again. Come on droid!

Dropping by to deliver tender punches to upper arm to y'all, and specially Muse & Aries in their time of menkul.

you are always on my mind

evening all.

Oh dear, Muse, hope the menkulling subsides.

I'm not sure I'm having a wobble. It's more like proper serious doubts about whether this is a road I should go down. We haven't even had the time or energy to SWI this month yet so how on earth would I cope with being pregnant and having a small, demanding baby? It's not just at the moment - it's like this every summer. I honestly don't think I have it in me.

There's no way I can specify "Right, I can only give birth between November and March." It doesn't work like that. I think I'm going to have to choose. I'm not just saying all this for attention honestly.

Have you spoken to MrAries about this? What does he think? Can you take on help in the future so that you don't have to work so hard?

We do have help now - she's brilliant and I hope she stays with us for a long time, but we can't hold her back in case she does want to move on. She would be very hard to replace. Regarding MrA, I'm far more into the baby thing than he is and his attitude has been that I can have one if I like. He just wants me to be happy which is very sweet, but I've got this awful image next summer of him coming home exhausted to be faced with a screaming bubba, a tip of a house and a screeching, lined, terrible-haired harridan of a wife and then loads of work to do in the evening. I also know that's normal too! I guess it's a decision only we can make.

I don't want to leave you all though

Don't worry laydeez. The laser beams of hate emanating from my eyes like a 35+ TTC Godzilla, when reading that fred, have rendered her infertile

AmuseBouche, I don't know how you're coping with this headfuck. Please know your fellow BESHes salute you (and are recording this menkul to show how it's done to the next gen of BESHes...). Would a grope help things?

Aries, I have to be honest and say that I think it's very foolhardy to take time off TTC to try and time when it's born. There's no guarantees about this stuff even if you were 16, but 35+? It's not worth the risk. I know I'm a dreadful worrier over age & fertility, but I wouldn't guve up for months on end if I was in your shoes. Bloody menz can be so annoying - they just don't seem to get that when they're all laidback and 'I just want you to be happy' about situations that take a lot of thought and communication and agreement between both partners, they're essentially dumping all the stress and responsibility onto the woman. They don't want to get stressed about it so they don't. They are incapable of getting that this approach doesn't make problems go away and that by being inappropriately nonchalant they're just making things even worse for their partner, grrrrrr (can you tell I'm no stranger to this behaviour?).

35 plus. Christ. Sometimes (like now) I can't believe how old I've got without my noticing.

Aries I'm sure it will be no consolation to you but I feel the same way even now.

I did this for all the wrong reasons, was so focused on/excited about the positive test and proving to myself that I could get pregnant despite the vaseline nature of my uterus, that I 'forgot'/didn't think about the end product and how much my psyche and personal ethos would have to change to accommodate it, and I have buried my head in the sand for 9 months so's I'm only just coming to terms with it now.

Here's the crunch. Are you happy to picture yourself 20 yrs from now with basically the same life or having devoted yourself to something else as a couple rather than a family unit. Or do you want the challenge that child-rearing will bring. For me my days till retirement stretched ahead with no milestones, apart from the odd nice holiday, etc. and this is how I've reconciled myself. I'm still not totally convinced, but on balance I would rather have this experience that live to regret not having it.

Hope I haven't offended anyone with my own personal menkul - I know it perhaps comes across as ungrateful for what I have, but dem's the troofax. No point in dressing it up in a nice fluffy peachy fuzz...

I'm not sure I am coping IAmScorpacus. I do keep whining on here and generally being dull and menkul.