jools I am so so sorry to hear you think you had a MC. x
iggy In both my PGs we conceived in the 2nd month of trying. I think DH thinks we're quite fertile, while I've been telling him we were unbelieveably bloddy lucky given our age. He thinks I'm glass half empty - until his SA results came back and found they were less than optimal ... now I think he realises exactly how lucky we were, but the realisation hasn't yet traveled to the necessary part of his brain, IYSWIM.
barbie and 4ever I hear you, but I would say my DH and I are probably not typical. We've been together for years and years, have very heavy workloads, and timed SWI has actually not been a bad thing for us: in the past we were more likely to go to bed with laptops than with each other. If I left it to nature and fun, honestly, the odds of us hitting ov day are slim to none. Feel we have to be very careful and planned because of DH's sperm and my age to give best possible odds.
In a 'health' way, TTC has not been bad on me: I used to eat one meal a day and drink too much - alcoholism is in my family so it was something I was always a bit worried about but could never properly stop. 2MCs was the ass-kicking I needed. So even if we gave up on TTC, I probably would remain strict about the good habits and supplements I started - the only thing that would change is no doubt we'd drift back to work committments which I've neglected badly for the sake of 'de-stressing'.
The 'herbs' I am taking are chinese herbs but the guy I see doesn't think I need acupuncture - in fact, resistant to it. Says I need herbs. Tried reflexology and likd it, but honestly ladies, I have to cut back on spending a bit (and sods law, my reflexologist fell pregnant, which I found hard to be around .)
Having said all that, if I was 33 and not nearly 40, I would approach all this differently and not be too worried at all. But we were told by a fertility expert to seriously consider IVF if we didn't conceive within 6 months. This disastrous month was month 5, last month (month 4) I had a fever so that was messed-up too, so that leaves only one more month before crunch decisions. I am terrfied of IVF and the drugs: I am BADLY affected by pregnancy hormones, and I've never been able to take the pill because it makes me crazy, no matter which brand I try. So I think IVF drugs is going to be a nightmare hellish horror for me.
DH thinks we can just keep trying and maybe do IVF later, but I've been on the assisted conception threads here and I know that delaying at our age reduces odds of success dramatically. So I'm not in a good way at all right now.
I feel so resentful of DH for not doing everything he possibly can to help me avoid the hell of IVF. Just devastated by it. I know he hasn't thought it through, but I am now at IVF or never having kids stage. Reality only ever hits him when it arrives, and I know if he sees me falling apart and shaking like a leaf on the drugs that regret will only hit him then.
To make everything worse today, I can't tell from my charts if I ovulated after all that. CD14 was a stuff-up as far as my temp was concerned because I got one hour's sleep the night before and cried the whole night. FF is confused, because when I discard that temp their rationale conflicts with my monitor peaks. Also this cycle the temps seem very low compared to previous cycles.One small good thing is its produced visible 'data' so DH can see and understand the terrible impact of huge stress on me.
Any temping ladies on here with ideas of what might be going on? Here's my charts.
I've decided to not get my results today - wimping out, I know, but if they come back today saying my FSH levels indicate near zero eggs I'll just crack up I think (no pun intended).
I have this sick dawning realisation that I don't think I'm probably never going to be a mum. Sorry this is so me, me me.