30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

Drom, I had this hideous realisation this morning. I'm shattered down to my very blood and bones. Apparently ....apparently they expect me to work for my wages??????!!!? Did you ever hear the fucking like?! I'm horrified! I've merely glanced at Guardian.co.uk, haven't even read Dlisted.com yet, and have managed like 5 minutes on MN. I don't even have a fucking Union! It's DISGUSTING!

Pimms is like drink in salad form. passes jug surefire hangover cure.

Right, plus, it's Whitsun Week, so Hall is closed. No free gourmet lunch. What the...I had to buy a fucking egg sandwhich from Tesco! I honestly don't know how I can be expected to work under these conditions. I really don't.

Good lord, woman. How dreadful! You poor dear.

Apparently I am also expected to work, but my concentration is shot to buggery, so I'm managing five minutes of reading to every ten minutes of internet.

Merci for the emergency Pimms, saltfish.

Is fucking outrage, Headysteadygo, is what it is.

Right ladies. It's Friday afternoon. We've earned this: awkwardfamilyphotos.com

Hmnnn...concentration shot to buggery..you know what that is, now don't you humpy?

Yes, that would be the hangover...unless there is some sort of miracle conception happening. Obv pre-IVF miracle conception would be delightful. But v v v unlikely.

I meant the hangover...tis sure way to destroy any work ethic!

Indeedy-doody. Work shirk, is what I say. It's far too nice a day to be indoors, too.

Am in garden with laptop/book/mint tea.... sorry, am on half term..incidentally, I work in a school, I don't still go there!!

cam hmmm yes Friday. But also an actual Real Proper Breakdown so couldn't ignore...

Pub now tho

chocolatesaltyballs did anyone check if you know what a BESH is? Or indeed,if you are one? [can't be arsed to checkicon]

Did someone say Work Shirk? I done comed home early from work cos I was all 'waaaah!' and 'ooooof, me stitches' and 'I need to sit down' and 'I... I... can't bend over ' and I was neither use nor ornament Wait, that last example really does make it sound like I'm a prozzie!

Hello Saltpetre, I like the cut of your pedantic jib. Your gona fitt in hear realy wel, innit*. Now get yer rat ahhhht.

Gin, yeh mardy fool, do you not realise that my idea for the next fred name was inspired by your wonderfully summery descriptions of this new place? It was a compliment, not a takeover. Stop sulking and give us a snog!

Am massively excited to see BigChiefSittingBull here today! You do not honour us with your presence enough, missy. I was going to do a funky song and dance routine called 'return of the Streme' to the tune of 'return of the mack' but I don't want to make EnglebertHumperdinck's hangover worse I SAID, I DON'T WANT TO MAKE HUMPY'S HANGOVER WORSE!

Oh no, that's okay - youse lot chat your hearts out all day and the second I join in, you all piss off. That's fine. I get the hint.

Sorry, Muse, I was taking pictures up your skit with my phone and didn't want you to notice me Fancy a quick grope behind the aspidistra?

Was also taking pictures up your sKirt

I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputeee.

Love Bob!! Tis the middle name of the son that we don't have. The boyf likes that mumbling fool Bob Dylan, I love a bit of Marley, jobs a goodun.

Helloooo ladeez. Am out of the pit, have sarong on, baps out for that no strap mark tan & am raring to go.

Thank Fuck its Friday. Work has been a bitch this week. I work with the craziest people in the history of all time. Oh, except me .

But now its done, I bought muffins as I thought we deserved a treat, the boyf thought the same & bought chocs. WOO HOO!!

So excited for tomorrow - breakfast in the pub, Wales v S Africa rugby, lunch in the pub, Stereophonics in the eve & ahem, a drink in the pub.

Oh, I was mid post last night on t'old fred & PC went tits up & kapoof! post was gone. But it was miserable so don't matter.

Anyhoo, I'm off to drool over food in Great British Menu then continue to park arse on sofa with said muffins & chocolate.

Hope everyone else is OK & set up for a good weekend, x

I am wearing jeans today though, so good luck with that camera.

Right. It is past going home time, I appear to have finished enough to go home. Sadly I'm going to spend tomorrow working as I'm still waaaay behind.

AmuseBouche, in my mind, you're always wearing a mini skirt and not much else

And YAY for LOLZ making a triumphant return from the pit! Wuz just wondering, like - what's your excuse for always getting your baps out when the weather's not like this?

Y'all know what a motorboat is, right? You put your head between a lady's chesticles and power away, making the requisite noises!

I hearts you all and a big hello to anyone else I missed out (you slaaags)!

Baddass Evil Slag (w)Hores?

I don't know

Ok, options, you guess.

Badass Evil Slag Hos
Bloody Excellent Sexy Honeys
Barren Evil Selfish Hags
Beginners Expecting Sprogs Hopefully
Brilliantly Evil Super Hags
Baby Envying and Stealing Hags

Ha ha ha!

I'm loving the new place. Headcase, come and work for me. You'd like it.

This wine tastes horrid. A SYMPTOM. I can get symptoms even if I've probably not even ovulated yet, right?

Perhaps it's corked ?

NO WRONG ANSWER.

You iz diffed. Definitely.

MrM thinks it's horrid too. Can't be corked as has screwtop. Is just horrible. I may open a different bottle.