30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

Sticky thoughts echoed, Danielsan. Ain't been on here that long (though it seems like an age), but I do know if anyone deserves a little baybee, it's you. And Pols - a scan! A real bean! How exciting. Punch me both if you will, but is the nuchal fold thing and knowing on Thursday bit to do with your advancing (but still very young and gorgeous) years? I agree that waiting sounds like the best policy JimmyChoo. Drom - punching ten shades of shit out of something sounds immensely satisfying. But please don't do it to a passing random on Friday night . We have a kickboxing club here, run by a world champ, no less. Maybe I'll join. I could duff her in easy.

I would like to join you in your gin cocktails, Curlz. However as you're not allowed to drink them, I feel it only fair that I should have the lot.

Headcase, if you're out there, hello my lovely. Miss ya.

Why are my stars all weird ?

hello all, thanks for remembering today was my day at the GP.

Doctor was great, v practical and said "yes, you're doing everything right". We talked through my cycles, and I said I was currently on CD19, so he booked me there and then for my Day 21 blood tests. I might get Day 24 as well to account for my late Oving. Good job MrM was there too, as he got his wank-cup away with him (you've to arrange the drop off time in advance with the lab - whose opening hours are v restricted, so it will be a pre-work wank, or a lunchtime wank only!)

So, really glad to feel like things are happening.

Being in denial til week 12 worked for me Chochi - I'd have been menkul either way, so I preferred to wait that bit longer and live in hope that it hadn't fallen out.

RieRie it is not to do wiv my geriaticness fank u vey much! It is something offered to everyone, well in our area anyway - you can have a normal dating scan or dating + nuchal fold + bloods. They plug the results into a computer, along with your age, bmi and god knows what else, then it gives you a one in however many chance of having a downs baybee. If I am classed as high risk then they will offer me an amnio. Not sure what I will do if that is the case. I think I'd like to know for sure (because I am a control freak) but at the same time, I'm not sure I could terminate if the result was bad. Who knows... I think until you are actually in it, you can't know for sure how you will react. Trying not to think about it too much Trying to focus on the fact that the sonographer said the nuchal fold was very small which is a Good Thing.

Think I will treat us to fish and chips tonight. I can't be arsed to cook. nom nom nom

stewiegriffen thinking good thoughts for your gran, and to your dad too, lyra

x-post Meds. Glad it went well at the docs and they are taking it seriously. TG had the same kind of scenario with his wank test - it really put him off doing it, silly git! Good luck with the bloods.

thanks PrettyPolly, and great news about your scan!

Glad it went well Medee and excellent fast work on the tests.

Sorry Polly me old mucker. I've clearly been reading too much Daily Mail . I'll an elderly primadonna which I don't think you were, so there!

Meds , are you allowed to take the wank cup away and drop it off then?

Glad it went now.

Pfeh. Bought a Tesco test, most emphatically negatory. Not even a ghost of a possibility of line.

Course it's way too early to test. And I'm not sure it's even sensitive enough a test to pick up HCG before missed droid. But I wasn't going to fork out on a CBD to tell me I wasn't pregnant.

went now went WELL.

that's right, Arise, which at least is preferable to doing it at the hospital. You have to write on it when you did it, and deliver it within an hour and a half.

and bah to the negatory, Museum.

Blimey. Say you live in the wilds of the Highlands? Actually we have friends who had IVF here and he had to do it in a room in the hospital - he called it the Tossing Off Room (with more accuracy than charm I must say). My man would take about three days in such surroundings.

Yes, bah Muse though it is too early as you know!! (check me, the veteran, out ).

I have created a thread! Hope no one creates a rival one this time.

I guess it is only an option if you are in a city and near the hospital (the hospital is over our back wall, though I am sure MrM will go round the proper entrance (fnar) when he goes to deliver it)

Evenin' all. Sorry I've been fairly absent for me - as time goes on and I accumulate yet more babyfail, I'm finding it harder and harder not to fall into proper depression. Realise this is silly considering haven't been trying as long as some and not given any bad results, etc., but am prone to the blues so is inevitable

Anyway, have had needling (think I might have annoyed St Needles, the most patient woman alive with my self-pitying bleating) and feel better so less about my mememe and more about your mememes!

Firstly, Amusant, I have decided that you are with diff so that is that. 'Bout bloody time you won, Missy

And Pooface, am glad your 12 week scan went well. Am sure there's nothing to worry about re: nuchal wotnots but I understand your fears and worries. And you know it's all your fault for not having completed your family before you were 25 Can I nick some of your chips? No, I don't want a bag of my own, I just want one or two

ChoChoDiGregorio (anyone? anyone?), I hear The Fear but have supergood feeling about ya (and not just from remembering our steamy night of passion in... sorry, where was I? ). If you think an early scan would put your mind at ease, then go for it. Whatever reduces the menkul is good, I say (as Queen of All Menkuls). And pliz to hang around here as often and for as long as you like. We undergraduates love to hang out with the cool kids who've passed their baybee exam

BESHpiration of the week: person I know (one of those people who lots of friends like but I secretly dislike) is pregnant. Is a surprise cos she's often said she's not interested in having kids. Turns out she says this to ensure everyone stfu on the matter as her and her DH have been trying for NINE years with no joy. She is 39 next week, poor thing. Apparently, they couldn't get IVF as she is naturally a Big Girl and couldn't get BMI down past 35, never mind 30! And how and when did this miracle occur? When they went on the holiday they'd booked as a big treat because they'd decided to stop trying and come to terms with never being parents. I quite literally don't have 9 years to wait but at least it shows that It Can And Will Happen.

Incidentally, so many people say that the key to winning is to 'relax' and 'not worry' that it's now got me convinced that I will never get my baybee because I'm naturally so fucking anxious. Yeeeeah, the last time I wasn't anxious was about 1975. So now I worry that my worrying is making me infertile. Help meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I get it Scorps - Grease! "And Danny Zuko!"

Sorry you're feeling blue.

ChoChoDiGregorio.. and Danny Zuko! I get you scorps.

9 years? Wow. Big knuckle rubs to you.

Why did I test? I was enjoying the menkul symptom spotting and now I am despondent. Sigh. I am eating my body weight in Thorntons Mini Brownies instead. Nom. Who needs a real baybee if you look 6 months pregnant anyway.

Oh dear. Cat 1 just tried to attack Cat 2 through the window.

The closed window.

Cue Cat 1 rebounding off window and falling onto floor.

I'll let you off RieRie - it is cos I is so young-looking . I will be 39 in Sept.

at Muse's cats. I am sorry about the negative. When you say it is too early, how early is it? How many dpo are you?

Gah I can't bloody concentrate. Bloody men. TG is going off on one at me and blah blah blah. All because I rang him at work earlier to find out exactly how late he would be working. (I don't really care but Boo is a daddy's girl and likes to know.) Apparently I interrupted him doing 'something important', which he then fucked up and blah blah blah. I love him dearly but he does my bloody head in sometimes, he has to talk about something to death before he will stfu... apparently it is not ok that we have differing opinions on this - one of us MUST be right. GAR.... Oh and I'd just like to point out that I have only ever rung him at work about 3 times in 3 years to chase him about what time he is coming home (he hates it cos it makes him feel even more guilty about being away from Boo). For some reason today she was v upset and wanted her daddy and no amount of hairstrokes and cuddles from me were going to cut it. Sorry, I will stfu moaning now. As you were.

Phew... he has gone away. Now I can concentrate! Scropy come and nuzzle against my ever increasing buzzwams while I feed you my leftover chips. So sorry you are feeling low. Tis very BESHpirational story though... how the fuck did she remain sane for NINE YEARS of TTC???

Sorry if I've missed anyone, I've kind of lost my flow man.

Mmmmm, chips and Pol's buzzwams - what more could you ask for?

She is a bit of a cow, Poopy, which could possibly be due to nearly a decade of babyfail. In fact, I'm surprised she's not more of a heinous bitch. Just shows you never know what's going on in people's lives.

If OV was around day 15, when I had FFJ, then I am 9DPO. If it was around day 18, when I had more FFJ then it is a mere 6DPO.

Fuck, what on earth was I thinking when I tested? Especially given my boobs remain unimpressive and previously would always be mahoosive when diffed.

at stoopid cat antics

Pisces your stars are up the spout cos of the fullstop at the end of the preceding line. You either need to add or take away a space, can't remember which. It's a bloody stupid coding error and it annoyed me lots till I worked it out t'other day.

Scorps I've been thinking about the stress/anxiety thing today too. Two friends of mine just got diffed; they've been trying for 18 months and had really bad blood and sperm results; both going through bad times at work. Last month he quit his job, stress levels plummeted and hey presto! They're diffed. And so many people say stress doesn't help, it must come from somewhere. But how the fuck you stop feeling stressed about it, I have no idea. My great plans to combat stress today: the Great British Repression Plan (see above) and getting back into yoga.

Oh, and drink