30s TTC. It was the BESHt of times,it was the worst of times, it was the age of rummaging in gussets, drinking gin.....

[ginhag]

C'mon in BESHes to the beach bar...sprawl on comfy sofas while you wiggle your toes in the sand and watch a glorious sunset....and drink brightly coloured cocktails with sparklers in. Cos we're classy,innit.

I've got Adam and joe in as barmen, and we have a rather nice Cave of Gloom in the corner for those 'whyyyyyy meeeeeeee???' moments. We have a reggae sound system playing mob barley's greatest hits. It's a sunshine paradise!

Newcomers welcome,as long as they drag along a bucket of black humour and a vast amount of gin. And please note,some of us have been here so long we have forgotten the real world almost entirely.

Now,who's getting the next round in?

BESH SMASH!!!! Raaaaaargh!

I have squirty tears of rage flying from my eyes Camelina. I am so fucking on your behalf. It is outrageous that they didn't tell you this before. (And btw I echo the others, I think you are gorgeous and beautiful and think their scales must be wrong.) BASTARDS

And what Cho said too - can you talk them round and starve yourself lose a few pounds over next couple of weeks?

BESH SMASH indeed!

Btw Cho glad to see you back. Hope you are ok?

Oh Dromroll

There are no words. But please don't beat yourself up. There are things in all our lives that aren't optimum for conception - because we're not robots - whether it's weight, or fags, or booze, or all 3!! But life has to go on, and we have to live it, and get through it the best we can. That's all you've been doing, same as the rest of us. Please don't be hard on yourself for surviving this shit the best way you can.

Maybe we should have a mass BESH dieting spree to keep you company till you get under the magic 3-0... couldn't hurt me, certainly! (apart from Aries, who is apparently tiny already, bah )

Sorry not been back sooner. Pretty low in the pit over here. But not going to bang on about that, cos Drom is much more deserving of new non-calorie Twirls right now.

Hi PolRoger...I am very well thank you!

Hullo TagHauer, sorry to hear you are down t'pit who is keeping you warm down there?

Oh Humpy, I'm so sad on your behalf. What a spanner in the works. Echo what others have said - is there any wiggle room on the numbers, is it a matter of a few pounds?

Utterly fucking speechless. How fucking contemptible on every fucking level.

I...you know what? I can barely think of a word to say.

I am quite happy to join you in some kind of joint race to lose a stone if that would help (I always think someone else suffering soothes the pain slightly). I cannot imagine that it's more than that, if indeed that much.

You don't even need me to say, I'm sure, that this is utterly FUCKING absurd. I've fucking met you, in a short shift dress I seem to recall, and the idea that the bonny radiant lass I was sitting next to could be anything but fucking perfect maternal material is just CUNTING SENSELESS.

Fuck fuck fuck. Jesus God, what WOULD they say to me?! I would have to lose 2 stone to get below BMI of 30.

I honestly think this breaches some sort of equality legislation. I'd like to see them fucking monitor someone's alcohol intake every 48 hours before they're permitted treatment. Jesus. Where did we get to the stage where the WORST fucking crime you can commit is not be a size 10.

Am actually weeping.

On another note, you can of course do it. However, that is far from being the FUCKING point.

I did ask about the wriggle room option. It's not Barts, it's the PCT guidelines for funding. Fair enough; there's statistical evidence of greater live birthrates with BMIs under 30. They weigh & record the weight in the info session and w/out chopping off a leg I won't lose the weight by Weds.

As TNB pointed out, it's not like we're being asked to wait a year. We have to suck it up and get on with the diet. I'm just so fucking cross with myself - this time in 2009 I was around a 26/7 BMI. It's not like I'm ever going to be under 25 - I was for my wedding and I made myself ill, thus ED counselling.

Erm, sorry for ranting like that. Just touched a nerve I guess

TNB sounds like a proper good egg.

It was a BRILLIANT rant and entirely how I feel about arbitrary BMI guidelines. No apologies necessary.

The thing I love most about TNB is that he's a quiet source of strength. On a day to day basis, the man can annoy me past bearing, but any time something goes wrong, he's perfect. When we first got the diagnosis, he just held me and let me cry until I'd had my weep out. No patting, no there theres, no attempt to make it better. He was amazing.

Oh Cameltoes I'm so sorry to hear this. I don't know your history as well as the other ladies, but I can imagine the frustration at being offered something, only to have it snatched away....

Hope you're ok.

Camels that is so shit, I'm so sorry for you. I hope it won't take too long for you to get the magic number.

It just seems so unfair and arbitrary, as though they've lulled you into a sense of hope and then purposefully snatched the rug out from under your feet as though they're looking for a reason. And I'm genuinely puzzled by the whole BMI thing - having seen pics of you, you don't look anything like having a BMI of over 30. From everything I've heard and read lately the whole BMI thing is becoming more and more irrelevant as an accurate indicator of someone's health - it's the waist/hip ratio that's far more telling. I don't know how/if that applies to TTC. MrA for instance has a BMI in the low range of "overweight", which is completely ridiculous as he's the most health and fitness conscious person I know, and he's just short and stocky as opposed to long and lean. Would someone be refused IVF for having a BMI under what's considered "ideal" for conceiving (under 21 I think)?

I'm really sorry dear Camelot if this doesn't help at all - it's just the whole thing is barking mad and extremely unfair.

You've all been really amazing. Thanks for the support, my BESHies. I'll be picking self out of the pit of Glom soon...

cam

I heart you big time. And I think I rather heart TNB also.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[DHB kisses innit]

cam I am lost for words at the total cuntary of it all. DO NOT beat yourself up about this. All I can see is that you accepted an "experts" words. Jeez, how stoopid of you [sarcasm to the max emoticon].

I really can't think of anything else to say. I feel like Michael Douglas in "Falling Down".....................

A cheer for TNB though, me likey.

Jesus Christ, world's gone mad.......

TNB sounds like a hero, glad he's looking after you.

My BMI is also over 30, I ought to work on getting it back under again. I am signed up to do tne ASICS London 10k in July so have to start running again or I'll embarrass myself in front of my fit friends.

I agree, TNB sounds like an absolute star. How are doing today PerfectHumpedOne?

Roundhouse kicks and tequila slammers all round.

Muse I am signed up for the same 10k! Maybe we should go to the pub afterwards in hot and sweaty despair? It took me 50 minutes to run 4 miles on Sunday, so I'm looking at a 10k time of around 2 hrs .

I just cried at work. IT IS SO EMBARRASSING. I am a grown-up, ffs. And it looks revoltingly unprofessional to be all watery-eyed and snotty.

Thank you all so much for indulging me. I know we've all had lots and lots of crap happen in our time TTC and in the great scheme of things this really isn't very much. Especially given the really horrid shit that other people on this thread have gone though. It will stop feeling like the end of the world soon; just have to get through today.

Hi- sorry to barge into your thread. I wrote the response to the article in the Sunday Times re: 'scandal of aborted IVF babies'- and i thought you might be interested in the email I got from Professor Bill Ledger- who clarified his comments. deeplyflawedbuttrying.wordpress.com/2010/06/08/response-from-professor-william-ledger-re-arti cle-in-the-times/

Will bugger off now- thoughth you might be interested as a couple of dozen links to blog post came from here!

Please barge in! It was great to see your blog; have added to my feminist blogroll.

Something joyous to cheer the soul. I find myself liking Tom Cruise now, thetans or no thetans.

A squeeze and a fishslap and another squeeze for Cam...followed by savage envious pinch to the arm: God, I could never run 4 miles. I have to do star-jumps and stretches to warm up for a run for 388 bus!

Hi- sorry to barge onto your thread. I wrote that response to the Sunday Times article about the 'scandal of aborted IVF babies'-I emailed Professor Bill Ledger, who was quoted as saying it was a tragedy. It appears his comments were misrepresented- have posted the full email here- deeplyflawedbuttrying.wordpress.com/2010/06/08/response-from-professor-william-ledger-re-arti cle-in-the-times/

Anyway- a lot of people from this thread came to look at the article- and I thought you might be interested!

I'm deeply admiring of anyone who can run 4 miles in any time at all. Shows what a total load of shite the whole BMI thing is as I can't run to the pub down the road without having an asthma attack.

Chin up chicken.

Running in to bundle Cam - CAMBUNDLE!!!!